Q4L's 3 Year PE Anniversary - Still no gains to report
March 2008 marks my 3 year anniversary with PE. I started consistent PE with a measurement of 5.75 BPEL and 4.25 EG in March of 2005. As of March 2008, I have no gains to report. I’m 5’6”, 155 lbs, a very healthy eater, I workout 5-6 days a week with weights and HIIT running and am 25 years old. Like most Newbies, I had a vision in my mind, that after 3 years of dedication to the art of PE, I would have a cock that I would be proud of.
I found out about PE back in March of 2001. I paid for a membership to a pay site and started their “Beginner Workout.” After two months of not knowing how to perform the exercises properly and not seeing any gains, I gave up. I watched a lot of porn (and continue to do so) and always wanted a huge cock (or even one that’s just slightly above average). At this time, I concluded that PE was probably a scam, just like those enlargement pills. Yet, in the back of my mind, I kept thinking that there had to be a way to increase the size of my unit. Then, I found Thundersplace and thought I found the Holy Grail itself – thousands of guys obsessed and insecure with the size of their dicks (both big and small) AND they were proving that PE does work.
I have tried countless routines, devices and variations. I’ve tried the Newbie Routine, hanging (vacuum and the Bib), clamping (cable clamps, air clamp, adjustable cockrings), extenders, pumping, etc. I’ve tried dry jelqing, wet jelqing, Horse 440s, JAI stretches, inverted V stretches, Memento’s Rapid Gain Mechanism Routine, O-Bends, etc. I’ve tried IPR routines, the Peter Dick routine, less is more routines, more is more routines…EVERYTHING!
Day in and day out, I would read as much as I can about PE and what has worked for others. I received advice from some of PE’s best – remek, xenolith, kingpole, babbis, Pud, Monty530, sparkyx, ModestoMan, Peter Dick, Shiver, MX, Iguana, gprent, peforeal, Krowax, avocet8, mbuc, drilla9, Vincent Van Cock, Endow, Big Girth, memento, Bib and even YGuy. Although I have not attained any physical PE gains, I would still like to thank all these members (and other members whom I have forgotten) for their advice. I would see Newbies come and go, and members posting of what great gains they were getting. I would go through cycles of determination and cycles of depression. Whenever someone suggested something that I haven’t tried before, I would get excited thinking “This is it!! This will get me gains!” But after being consistent and following their advice, only to discover I hadn’t gained anything, I would slip back into depression. The depression seems to get worse and worse each time that I slip back into it. I don’t know how much more I can take – I can’t keep setting myself up for disappointment.
What I have learned
Although I didn’t gain anything physical from PE, I do feel that I have grown as a person. I have learned many things throughout my PE journey. The first is friendship. I feel glad to be part of a community (both Thunders and the PE Gym). I can’t think of any other place like them. It’s truly amazing to see that I am not alone in my insecurity about my size, my bouts of depression, etc. I feel honored to be part of this “secret” club. Everyday we put on masks, consciously or subconsciously, yet, here, I feel as though I can ALWAYS be myself. For this alone, I am truly grateful.
I have had the priviledge of seeing PE theories being developed and put to use. Bib’s LOT Theory, Big Girtha’s “Never Let It Turtle” Theory, Xenolith’s (with Shiver and MX) IPR Theory, remek’s Smooth Muscle Theory and countless others. I truly believe that one day we will develop this science of PE into a true artform, where everyone can achieve their desired goal.
I learned a lot about myself. For one, my total posts after 3 years is just under 1000. This is not to say that I don’t like to help others, but the majority of my time is consumed by reading posts, both old and new, over and over again. I feel as though I have a wealth of PE knowledge loaded in my brain – I guess I should focus on application a little bit better so that I can put it to use and get some gains myself! Secondly, I didn’t realize how much dedication and tenacity I had. Usually, if I’m not good at something, I give up quite easily. I usually lose interest in things after about a month or so, especially if I don’t see results (keep in mind that PE is the exception – I have been on PE routines that have lasted longer than 3 months). I guess this tells you how badly I want PE gains.
My brain is on PE overload. I’m depressed and I’m…tired. I created this thread for a couple of reasons. For one, I wanted to ensure Newbies that although I haven’t gained, that PE is REAL. Secondly, I need advice and encouragement. I think I’m reaching rock bottom with PE and feel as though I only have a couple “cycles” in me left before I completely give up. There is only so much time a logical person can put into something and not be getting any results from, right? So, should I go back to the Newbie Routine? Should I do an exclusive stretching routine? Unfortunately I don’t have the privacy to hang or pump anymore. Or, should I just give up entirely? WHAT SHOULD I DO?!?!
PS - This has been a very difficult post for me to write. I know this post may come across as discouraging toward Newbies or even intermediate PEers who are struggling with gains. That’s not what this post was set out to accomplish. I just wanted a post that culminated my 3 years of PE, and to include my frustrations, thoughts and feelings toward my past and future PE journey.
The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.