I just want to add to this and say that she doesn’t have purely vaginal orgasms even now. What she means is that she can have an orgasm during intercourse without me using my hand at the same time to make her climax, but the stimulation is still external as she has learned to grind her hips into me to provide the clitoral stimulation she requires to orgasm.
I have never been with a girl that could have a purely vaginal orgasm (one devoid of all external stimulation). I’m not saying it can’t happen, just that I have never experienced it. It is, however, my experience that all females can learn to have a “hands free” orgasm during intercourse if there is no pathology present (no abuse or irregular anatomy/physiology). And I was always big (able to reach the cervix with every partner) even before PE, so it has not been my experience that penis size either adds to or takes away from the PHYSICAL mechanics of orgasm - in all cases if a partner did not already understand how to have an orgasm during intercourse she had to learn, it was not gifted to her through sheer size. Though I think it can have a psychological effect if the girl is in to it or feels like it “should” feel better being penetrated by a larger penis.
gottagolarger, my advice would be ask your wife nicely to put away the vibrator for a while and get used to the (less intense) stimulation of touching and grinding during intercourse. When Rycbar and I started having sex her only experience of orgasm was through a back massager - that is like trying to shoot a marmot with an anti-aircraft gun, it took a while for the desensitization to pass so she could orgasm easily through hands and mouths. But I think it is a rewarding experience, and now she only uses the massager on her back. ;)
Sorry for this response, I realize this thread is “Ask a Female,” not “Ask a Female’s Boyfriend.” I had to clarify on this one though, and I consulted with Rycbar first. :)