An odd problem

Hi all, this is my first post/thread.

The other night I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. This was actually my first. I know a lot of people mention problems with premature ejaculation. My problem is pretty much the opposite. My girlfriend, try as she might, could not get me to come. Getting and maintaining an erection is not a problem at all. I don’t have any problems ejaculating as far as I know, since masturbation is quite effective. My girlfriend was pretty bummed that she wasn’t having any effect. I’m hoping someone with a bit more experience might have some suggestions.

I’m not sure the cause, but I have a couple of guesses. The first was that I have the tactility of a lump of wood. Between that and the condom, I’m pretty much not going to feel anything. The second possiblity is she’s just too big for me. She likes them large and has had boyfriends who nearly fill her up. Size-wise I’m average, but that may just not cut it.

What I’m going to try is first having her switch to using the pill so we can eliminate the condoms. Second, I’m going to start doing PE and see if size gains help. I’ve done the latter sporadically, and by my crude measurements I think I’ve gain maybe 1/4”-1/2” in length and 3/16” in girth, but haven’t been really satisfied with any of the programs I tried. This forum seems to have some interesting stuff, so maybe I’ll have better luck with the programs here.

Again any suggestions would be great. I really would like to fix this so she feels better about herself.

It may help to just “write off” the first time. Expectations and pressure are usually unfairly high. Having sex with a steady partner is much like a new sports car, the first week you don’t really top it in but after you have it a while you can drive like Steve McQueen.

Give it time, both of you will get better relaxed. Relaxation must take place, that is what sex is about. Sport fucking is another story. It sounds like both of you were in an enormous amount of pressure and that turnde to frustration.

Thanks, Dr. Ruth

Welcome to Thunders Hobbes14!

Interesting dilema you have there. I don’t know what to suggest you do to increase tactile sensation, I know how to decrease it. So I am going to go on the assumption you would do many of the same type of things.

First, find items with different textures, like corduroy, velvet, silk, satin, feathers etc and begin with the heavier textures. Now you will want to ‘choke the chicken’ with that texture but do not ejaculate, then switch to the next heavy texture, continue stroking and continue lessening the textures until you get to the lightest. (I do realize that somewhere along the line you will ejaculate, its ok). You need to resenistize your penis, I do need to ask if you have a decreased tactile sense on other areas of your body?

Again, welcome and enjoy your stay. The rest of the fellas will chime in pretty soon.

How long between your last masturbation session and intercourse?

Thanks guys. Actually I think sunshinekid might be right. I never considered that I may have desensitized myself. I guess I’ll try out the suggestions and see.

Sunshinekid: My fingers are somewhat desensitized from playing guitar.

Tps: About 1-2 days. Generally that length of time is more than enough to recuperate.

I wouldnt pay much attention until your “used” to sex.

The excact same happened to me my first time, I fu##ed her for hours, and made her come, but was not able to come myself. I think it was the exceitment that caused it. If I remember correctly I dont think I came my second and third time either. Things will only get better for you, I am sure :)

I will have to say give it a while also, You may have been nervous. As far as the sensitvity problem, I think they make gels and stuff to help out with that, you just rub it on and it makes you more sensitive