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Need an Excuse for the Clicking Noise?

Just tell her it’s part of a kinky sex act and the clicking, and the hours alone fiddling with your diddler are all foreplay.

She’ll buy it.

-Borat, the persuasive type

Originally Posted by sparkyx
IF you keep it entirely out of the house, like at work or something, then maybe you can pull it off (no pun intended). The downside is everyone at work may end up thinking your jacking off in the bathroom!

Yea, that’s probably not good..

Originally Posted by sparkyx
Great story…and fairly typical reaction from most gals. I’m telling ya’ they have radar for sneakiness, and will immediately suspect the worst. Trying to frame it in a positive way with a crying woman in front of me, and my greasy dick in hand is not what I consider a dignified way to have to deal with it. Funny as hell to read, but thats exactly my worst nightmare!

It was definitely a wacky scene, for sure!

I find it hard to understand how a simple “clicking noise” can be so loud that your wife can hear it…

Originally Posted by Krtel
I find it hard to understand how a simple “clicking noise” can be so loud that your wife can hear it…

Women have finely tuned hearing, developed through millions of years of evolution to help them keep an ear out for crying babies - everyone knows this..

:)

I am only joking, their hearing probably isn’t any better than males on the whole.

Dip the metal in PlastiDip.

Turn on the shower or flush the toilet to muffle out the mysterious clicking.

Do you have any of those jar covers that have a roundel in the centre that clicks when you release the vacuum ( to show that it is air tight.)

You could keep that handy and when she hears you clamping and comes rushing in you just calmly click that in front of her. she’ll think you’re crazy but who cares. just click it at her.

PS No need to keep it in the jar just use the lid Hold it in the palm of one hand and press the centre.

I just tried it on one and it makes a nice click. Although it may be in a different “key” than the clamp

If you really want to annoy her; get several and make a sort of Xylophone with different sounding clicks. She’ll not come rushing in again,. Guaranteed.

I really cant believe anyone is wasting their time discussing this, including myself!

Originally Posted by all4show
Thanks, so I will either convince her it is ghost or I will try to drive her crazy.

I for one support this idea, when in doubt go for the crazy angle.

Quote
I am only joking, their {women’s} hearing probably isn’t any better than males on the whole.


Not true.

The average woman has a significant advantage over the average man in the hearing department. Particularly with higher frequencies.

Originally Posted by frenulumfellow
The problem is, based on a long-term relationship that recently ended badly, I’m no longer sure that it’s really worth being in a relationship where you feel like you have to act duplicitously.

Originally Posted by Mule
And then portray yourself as the martyr who remains loyal to his nutcase of a woman, eh?

Sounds like a marriage made in heaven…


These comments, along with some of sparkyx’s, have truth.

I also think sparkyx is right about your eventual bust. She knows something’s up. She knows you’re keeping something from her. She’ll be on a mission.

If I think someone is ‘getting over’ on me I make it a point to get to the bottom of it. I think that’s simple human nature.

As far as marriage and partnership, trust is the foundation. From the sound of it there is a fair amount of eyeballing going on. Not great for the long term.

Within relationships there is a need for privacy and personal boundaries; full disclosure is not the answer - or even the point.

How to solve this?

The clicking - easy; some have pointed out lifting up on the tab allows adjusting the clamp without sound.

sparkyx’s idea of partial disclosure is good in that it allows for an explanation which is true (penile health), and sets up a boundary at the same time.

The flaw there is the clamp itself. Were she to inquire with a medical practitioner - particularly about clamping - she’d get a different story, and believe you lied or are doing harm. Then fighting over PE begins.

The question of trust and the need for privacy (for PE or any other reason) within an intimate relationship’s the real issue.

Originally Posted by all4show
So the upshot is I cannot use clamps in the house any more and she thinks I am on drugs.


The experts agree.

That’s funny.


Before: I'd like to show you something I'm very proud of, but you'll have to move real close.

After: I\'d like to show you something I\'m very proud of, but you guys in the front row will have to stand back.

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. - Robin Williams (:

Originally Posted by petitfaun
Do you have any of those jar covers that have a roundel in the centre that clicks when you release the vacuum ( to show that it is air tight.)

You could keep that handy and when she hears you clamping and comes rushing in you just calmly click that in front of her. she’ll think you’re crazy but who cares. just click it at her.

PS No need to keep it in the jar just use the lid Hold it in the palm of one hand and press the centre.

I just tried it on one and it makes a nice click. Although it may be in a different “key” than the clamp

If you really want to annoy her; get several and make a sort of Xylophone with different sounding clicks. She’ll not come rushing in again,. Guaranteed.


:rolling:

Get an air clamp. Duh

Originally Posted by Mr. Happy
Not true.

The average woman has a significant advantage over the average man in the hearing department. Particularly with higher frequencies.

I was only joking, I had no idea that it was possibly true..

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