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Need an Excuse for the Clicking Noise?

If your lady gets upset so easily I would she’s the loony one. Hearing ‘strange’ noises only contributes to that notion. *Click*

You are already screwed because you denied it so many times when she obviously heard it. If holding the latch open like these guys are saying doesn’t work, you should just sing while you do it, then she will never hear. I sing all the time to cover up noises.

Originally Posted by concrete
If your lady gets upset so easily I would she’s the loony one. Hearing ‘strange’ noises only contributes to that notion. *Click*

Convincing her she is crazy is an option I may have take.

Originally Posted by all4show
Convincing her she is crazy is an option I may have take.

And then portray yourself as the martyr who remains loyal to his nutcase of a woman, eh?

Sounds like a marriage made in heaven…

My two cents,

1) Tell her. I told my wife, she thought I was weird, and still does. She knows I do it, doesn’t like it (even though she now cums every time we have sex) and our compromise is that she never sees it. I feel much better telling her. While telling her, I did downplay it, 5 minutes in the shower, etc, then she saw my clamp, I said I just put it on in the morning and wear it for 10 minutes while I am making coffee (I am wearing sweats) so it doesn’t take time away from anything. That one is important. It’s aside from the weirdness of it, it’s any wasted time that makes her mad.

2) Lil j also had it right. One night I got in bed, and put on my clamp. She was falling asleep, heard the clicking, woke up and was pissed off. With practice I learned to clamp silently. Hold the clamp open and slide the clamp in as far as it will easily slide in, and lower clamp. Then push it in one notch at a time. Lift the clamp, push, lower clamp, adjust fingers. I have found that it actually helps me get more blood in my penis, by taking 1 full minute to put on the clamp this way.

Originally Posted by all4show
No bad, but it is too fresh right now. It could be a good setup in the future.


My suggestion is, start carrying a little clamp now. Maybe she’ll eventually find it on her own. Or, next time she overhears the clicking noise, you can pull the little one out. Either way, it will happen spontaneously, but you’ll be prepared to say “OH, is THAT what you’ve been hearing?”, and be ready for it without it being an obvious setup. You’ll just need to have some good excuse rehearsed for carrying the clamp - a remedy for forgetfulness about your keys like I suggested (or a mnemonic for anything else, you could say it’s a trick you read about to hang something on your belt loop as a reminder to yourself similar to the traditional old string around the finger), or whatever fits in naturally with your work or hobbies.

It occurs to me that it would actually be pretty funny to just slowly start using clamps of different sizes all over the house for everything you can possibly think of - being deliberately stealthy about attaching them at first - and see how long it takes your wife to notice them and figure out that they make the clicking noise she has been hearing. Or give her a pack of assorted clamps as a gift and tell her you’ve discovered they’re very handy for organizing cables and cords and stuff, and see how long it takes her to try them out and notice the noise they make - this fits in with the suggestion someone else made about giving her a gift that explains the clicks, but I see no reason why the gift couldn’t actually be an assortment of clamps themselves.

Good Luck,

FF

Originally Posted by Mule
And then portray yourself as the martyr who remains loyal to his nutcase of a woman, eh?

Sounds like a marriage made in heaven…

Crazy but that’s how it goes. Ozzy.

Originally Posted by figaro
My two cents,

1) Tell her. I told my wife, she thought I was weird, and still does. She knows I do it, doesn’t like it (even though she now cums every time we have sex) and our compromise is that she never sees it. I feel much better telling her. While telling her, I did downplay it, 5 minutes in the shower, etc, then she saw my clamp, I said I just put it on in the morning and wear it for 10 minutes while I am making coffee (I am wearing sweats) so it doesn’t take time away from anything. That one is important. It’s aside from the weirdness of it, it’s any wasted time that makes her mad.

Oh yes, the time factor would add to her feeling that I have gone insane or have become a freak.

If you press the handle down, do it just right - You can adjust the clamp with no sound at all.

-Borat, master of stealth

Originally Posted by FrenumFellow

It occurs to me that it would actually be pretty funny to just slowly start using clamps of different sizes all over the house for everything you can possibly think of - being deliberately stealthy about attaching them at first - and see how long it takes your wife to notice them and figure out that they make the clicking noise she has been hearing. Or give her a pack of assorted clamps as a gift and tell her you’ve discovered they’re very handy for organizing cables and cords and stuff, and see how long it takes her to try them out and notice the noise they make - this fits in with the suggestion someone else made about giving her a gift that explains the clicks, but I see now reason why the gift couldn’t actually be an assortment of clamps themselves.

Good Luck,

I think that is one of the beauties of the clamp, it looks so innocuous. Not as strange as finding your pump or something. It is just that damn sound.

Set her down someplace comfortable, then explain to her that you are one of the lizard people and that the clicking noise is natural for your kind. ;)

Then she won’t be worried about you being a pervert any more. Or think that she is going nuts.


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Originally Posted by all4show
I do not like to keep secrets either, but I do not want to give it up either or fight about it constantly.

There is about 100% chance she will be upset about PE and think I am crazy. It is like alcohol - she thinks having 4 to 6 beers at home on a Friday means I some sort of alcoholic. Seriously at this point it is just easier not to drink. If she knew I was spending 30-60 minutes 5 to 6 days a week on PE she would think I need to be committed. Or the next time I want to show a bulge or something she will be very upset. I guess I do not want the risk of getting that taken away.

Point taken. Only you would know what is best.

On topic, you should find that lifting the latch and placing the side of your thumb just under the latch edge while you close the clamp will deaden the clicking noise but still be enough for you to tell how many clicks in you go.


"Drilla Knows Ass" - Para-Goomba

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Doesn’t your wife have any hobbies or self improvement interests of her own? Could it be that her hobby is judging you?

I can’t figure out why guys can’t just tell their women about their PE. She is your wife, not your mother! Not to sound mean about it, but too many guys need to grow balls when it comes to dealing with their women. Trust me, if she developed an interest in something you thought was stupid, she would do it anyway and tell you that you’re stupid and insensitive for not understanding.

Originally Posted by all4show
I do not like to keep secrets either, but I do not want to give it up either or fight about it constantly.
There is about 100% chance she will be upset about PE and think I am crazy.


My wife thinks I’m crazy for PEing, but she accepts it. At night, I’ll tell her, “I’m going to do my cockercizes.” She thinks it’s “weird” but like I said, she accepts it and I have nothing to hide. She walked in on me when I was jelqing the other night and just having her there made my cock too hard for newbie jelqing. She seemed to be pretty curious and was trying to hold a serious conversation with me, but kept glancing at my cock.

I hope it all works out for you, one way or another!

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