I don´t think anyone ment to put “blame” somewhere. Just shifting the perspective a bit, that there´s more than one person (hopefully) involved and thus more than one persons responsibility to make the most of him- or herself.
ouch! Imagine some girl telling you “You feel kind of small tonight”, that would probably stick in your head too. I´ve said my share of stupid things as well though, often without thinking about how they sound until afterwards.