I've cured my premature ejaculation

I would guess that because she does not get far enough toward orgasm, she never gets the dilation & full long lasting lubrication required to accept hard long lasting thrusting. The initial lubrication required to accept entry is not the same thing and fades quickly if a higher plateau is not reached.

I am aware of this sequence because with my current wife and several other orgasmic women I have been with, things seem great as they experience “small” orgasms up to the point the lubrication really “turns on”… Then, the vagina seems like a huge pot of hot honey and unfortunately, my penis feels like a spoon too small to stir it effectively… (Yeah, PE!).

My first wife, on the other hand, and some other girls I have been with start out the same way enjoying the initial penetration, etc. (Often minus orgasms), but never get to what I might call the “big juicy”… Dilated w/extreme heat and lubrication.

By the way, my first marriage went down the tubes because I was very inexperienced prior to marriage and quite appalled when I came to realize my wife was not orgasming. She very much enjoyed and even craved sex so it took me quite awhile to realize what was up… Maybe if I’d never watched porn (it just started to be readily available in 1970 when I was married) everything would have been great (ignorance is bliss?). I was really obsessed about trying out other women, thinking I was missing something with an non-orgasmic partner. Well, it was awesome observing orgasmic women, but the (female) orgasmic sex was no better FOR ME than the non-orgasmic, in fact, FAR MORE FRUSTRATING in some ways.

Interesting observations, Lloyd.

Kind of. What I’ve noticed is that the orgasm during sex is less intense than usual. But the orgasm from masturbation is out of this world. I mean my legs start quivering just before I cum and the orgasm lasts forever, (about 8 seconds) compared to about 2 seconds pre-paxil.

I’m finding it quite puzzling as to why there’s such a difference between the two methods…

I’m the same there. I can also last forever with her on top.
Unfortunately she hates both of those methods so we rarely do them and if we do she waits about 1-2 mins before insisting that I bang her good and hard.

I have also noticed that if she is very unenthusiastic about sex, I will not cum. I could have sex for ages no problem. But if she’s really loving it, I’ll cum faster. bummer!! it should be the other way around!!!

Thanks for sharing your exerience in that regard. I think I should enjoy the benefits of a non-orgasmic wife rather than get obsessed with making her have an orgasm. We never talk about it, but it plays on my mind a lot. But what you’ve said will certainly help ease my mind. thankyou.

My wife definitely gets to that point about half the time. But in her wierd way she is grossed out by it and insists on wiping herself and me to get rid of the lubrication. She says it doesn’t feel as good when there’s so much lubrication. I say to her “But we need that, or you’ll get sore!” but she’s adamant that this is the way she wants to go… Then 10 mins later she’s saying she’s getting sore and I should cum now and I’m rolling my eyes into the back of my head thinking “why me”.

It’s strange she gets very close to orgasm cheeks flushing red, arching her back, tensing her muscles but she just can’t quite get over the edge. It really frustrates her and she only really tries for an orgasm once every few months. I guess I’m in for the long game or perhaps I should just enjoy things the way they are and not worry about it.

Wow! Apparently, she has some “prudish” ideas imposed from her up-bringing or something that interfere with the normal progression of events. Sounds like there is definitely a mental component, ie. "Being grossed-out”… Sex is inherently on the gross side.

Sounds like Zaneblue’s orgasmic diet would be the way for her to go… However, getting women to try a “crackpot” (in perception, not reality) diet is like pulling their teeth (or trying to get them to orgasm!).

I agree. One woman may feel grossed out by sex because of her upbringing and thus hinder the enjoyment of it another woman may be free and uninhibited thus making sex very enjoyable. I have experienced both sides of the issue on this. Although I know for a fact that if both parties enjoy the sex, it’s possible that you can go for a while because both parties are working for a common goal ie. orgasm. But if you have someone that is not that enthused about sex, it is very hard to satisfy them. But it feels good to know that you gave it your all and were able to last longer than 2 or 10 minutes.

Yeah, she find most things gross with sex. Oral, anal, fingers, vibrators. She has very occasionally given me oral and once or twice over the years I’ve given her oral but she says she doesn’t like it. She enjoys straight forward missionary and variations of the missionary but nothing else, although she does them more often now than ever before.

Recently I cut down on initiating sex and just did it when she initiated, result was we have less sex, but better quality. She has started enjoying doing it twice in a row and has started initiating other positions and a couple of things she previously labelled as gross.
So I think giving her the space to initiate has been useful in helping her discover her own sex drive. I think she is realising that she wants to do these gross things as long as she doesn’t feel pushed into it when she’s not in the mood. Unfortunately she’s only in the mood a few times a month. But I’d rather have quality than quantity.

It’s a long process to undo a prudish upbringing but “slowly slowly catch the monkey”. We’ve made tons of progress over the last few months, mainly down to changes in things I can control, such as not initiating sex so frequently.

Yeah, funny enough I ordered some ‘Standardised Nettle Root Extract’ last week. The net effect of taking this herbal remedy is an increase in free testosterone. I beleive this will increase her sex drive. We talked and I said that if I was taking Seroxat to lower my sex drive, then it would also be useful for her to take something to increase hers. So that we can attempt to synchronise our sex drives as best we can. She agreed. It’s only been a few days of taking the nettle root, but I think I’m seeing results.
She’s on the last day or so of her period. She put a fresh tampon in and went to bed. This is a no brainer situation for her. When she’s on her period, there’s no sex, end of story, I never expect her to put out when she’s on her period.
But we get kissing, I get horny and start intimating I’d like something more. Every time before now she would offer me a hand job and I’d accept, but she didn’t. She took the tampon out and got on top of me and started riding me.

Like I say too early to tell and it could have been a fluke, but I’m watching closely to see what happens over the next few weeks.

Yeah, that’s what worries me, is that she may ‘give up’ on sex altogether. At the moment she does still enjoy sex for what it is. Since she’s never had an orgasm, she doesn’t really know what she’s missing. She’s curious and she thinks she’s missing out. But she still enjoys sex for the smaller pleasures she does enjoy with it.

The sex is definitely getting better too, there are times when she has been very close to orgasm. But she gives up very quickly. She sees me getting a hand job and coming within 5-10 mins and she expects the same. Then if it takes 20 mins or more she just starts getting really frustrated and gives up saying she’s too sore. I can see the dissapointment in her face. I keep telling her that if she let me touch her clit it would help, but she says she doesn’t like that. But things are steadily getting better, so I’m optimistic that eventually she will feel comfortable with stimulation to the clit and then we can really go places.

She has never had an orgasm, even by herself? If not, I think that is where she needs to start. She needs to learn how to give herself an orgasm, by herself, so there is no pressure. While you are not around.

GENERAL UPDATE

Everything is going perfectly. I have virtually complete control of orgasm. I can last as long as want. I have no refractory period, so I can cum and then immediately start over and cum again. I haven’t tried for a third time yet, but will soon. My sex drive is at a much lower and more comfortable level. This is the thing that has improved my sex life the most. Sounds strange but it’s true. My wife is initiating now and is more horny and she’s initiating sex acts that she said she hated before.

So for me Paxil/seroxat has worked in more ways than I expected and has facilitated changes in my sexual behaviour that have greatly improved the quality of sex with my wife. Last night I had sex for about half an hour, I used to be a 2 minute man. I had to really concentrate in order to cum. Yes there have been side effects but nothing to worry about. I can conclude it has worked for me with better than expected results.