What do I do in this situation??

Okay guys, I’ve got a new one that you can hopefully give me some advice on. I’ll give you some background.

My girlfriend and I are at the same college and deeply in love. We are also very frank and open with most parts of our lives, and our pasts. We have both had sex with others before, and we have discussed her two partners she has had before me.

One was small, and left her very unsatisfied. Also mentally abused her, but that’s a whole different can of worms. However, I gather her second boyfriend was somewhat big, and good in the sack.

In my favor, I do know what I’m doing between the sheets. Apparently, I have surpassed him in ability in that regard, but I wanted to at least be equal to him in size, as we can all understand here at these forums.

The problem is this. She said that he hurt her. She also said that I was the perfect size for her. 5.875 x 5.25, for those who care, and she absolutely loves how perfectly I fill her. She doesn’t know I come here, she only knows I do some excercises, but I told her they were to increase bloodflow and maintain erections longer, which they actually do. Kind of a partial truth thing.

So what do I do?? I like what I’m doing here at these forums, and I’m content in my abilities to please her. But she has told me (without knowing what I’m up to here) that she wouldn’t want me to be any bigger. I’m afraid now to do stuff because I don’t want to wind up hurting her. What do you all suggest???

Men’s and women’s reponses would both be appreciated.

my idea would be keep exercising. If she says you are bigger tell her stop kidding around flattery will get you everywhere!

Take a slower pace but work. The sad part is she may break up with you later or soon. Maybe never if you are that lucky! Anyhow, you may want to be bigger for the next girl too. Remember time is the factor with PE!

You can always ease it into her somehow. Try differnt and unique sex positions. I personally would not stop, but I feel I am expected to be hung like a horse.

Well This goes back to who your doing PE for. Yourself is probably the right answer.

If I were you & I was in love with her I would talk to her about it. If your very frank & open already you should be able to talk about something as important as this.

Tell her you would feel better gaining & maybe structure the whole thing where you both are happy.

She may be open for a little bigger. Shes saying shes happy with you & she probably is but it woulnt be very nice to say she wasnt now would it. She might be happy with a little more you but not want to make you feel bad by saying so.

I would be open & talk to her. If you cant talk now you wont ever be able to about other things either.

Good Luck!

I was in a similar position recently. My girlfriend has said from the beginning that I was the perfect size for her. We are very, very open with eachother. She pulls my finger when I say that I have gas - what more can you ask for?

Anyways…one day in our post-sex lounging, she remarked that I “fit her like a glove”. I quickly corrected her use of that metaphor and then used it as a segueway…

Me: Yeah, I’d kind of like to be bigger.
Her: Baby, you are fine the -
Me: - I know. But there’s supposedly these things you can do to make it bigger and it got me thinking…
Her: What?
Me: Well, wouldn’t it be nice if I were a little bigger?
Her: Really, you don’t need to -
Me: - I know. Believe me, I know. But if there is a way, why not try it?
Her: I guess.

Now that I have gained almost an inch in length she has admitted to me that bigger is, in fact, better. Given that I know what I’m doing, that is. She has told me that while I was perfectly adequate before, she likes it even better now. I’m completely open with her about it. She is totally supportive of what I am doing. In fact, she keeps me in line with my goals. When I’m too lazy to do my routine, she motivates me. Likewise, when I get too ambitious and try to skip a rest day, she forces me to relax and not hurt myself.

I guess what I’m really getting at is that you’d be suprised what a little honesty can do.

This is meant as a light hearted answer, sometimes I should be more serious, but what the hell.

She said you were the perfect size. I’m sure a ‘little more’ could make you a ‘little more’ perfect ;)

And who’s to know how much longer you’ll be with her. No harm in being prepared for changes in the future.

I should clarify, we’ve been together for awhile, and we’re nearing the end of our college careers, so planning for the future has begun to creep into conversation here and there. There is a strong likelihood that she’ll be around for quite awhile.

I would agree that a little more wouldn’t hurt, but I’m really not sure with her. I’ve had conversations where I would say I wished I was a bit bigger, and she always says…”No, you’re big right now, I don’t want you any bigger.” She’s not really the type to sugarcoat stuff, so I have to believe her for my own piece of mind.

I do want to continue doing this stuff, for my own benefits, but I don’t want to cause any problems. Does anyone have a scaled down routine, something that only is done once a week or something, which will show very gradual gains??

Thanks for your reply, it’s always nice to have a female perspective on the situation. No worries with communication though, we talk about practically everything openly. The only reason I haven’t told her my true intentions with regards to this stuff is because she hates it when I seem to be having esteem issues, which something like this would qualify as to her. She’s one of those “I love you and I want you to love yourself” types, which is very refreshing.

Anyway, I digress. Thanks for your input, and those from the guys as well. I’ll let you all know what’s going on in the future.

>>…”No, you’re big right now, I don’t want you any bigger.” She’s not really the type to sugarcoat stuff, so I have to believe her for my own piece of mind. >>

This is one area where your woman will definitly bullshit you.
Keep in mind that she doesn’t know PE is possible.
So, telling you that you could use an extra inch or two would in her mind only serve to give you insecurities, If she loves you she won’t do that. A little white lie is called for in her mind.
You are six inches, average.
Chances are that an extra inch will not hurt her especially if you are in tune with her - you’ll wield that extra inch carefully.
I would suggest you press on secretly and observe her reactions during lovemaking looking for whether her pleasure seems to be more or less or if your new size is uncomfortable. In my neck of the woods girls aren’t really supposed to care about sex so expressing a specific sexual desire - particularly wanting a big dick is taboo and she would consider herself a slut if she admitted to herself that it is really what she wants or needs.

Yep, that’s what I’m after too. I have enough of gaining too fast. Gotta slow down.

C’mon, Phoward, you make it sound as if you’re going to gain an inch a month! And as everyone will tell you, unless she is has a very small, tight vagina or you grow to massive proportions, you are not going to hurt her. So just keep PEing and hope the gains come, because it is not as easy as just doing a few jelqs and pasting on the inches at the end on the month.

An inch in a month…that’d make this whole PE thing a heck of a lot easier!!!

Oh well, on I go. You all have been helpful, and I realize now that there can’t be too much harm in it, as long as I’m careful with her. Thanks for your help Luvdadas.

No offense intended but that is ridiculous for her to pretend she dosnt like sex when she evidently does. Phoward already said they are very open about discussing there sex life.

In my neck of the woods girls aren't really supposed to care about sex so expressing a specific sexual desire - particularly wanting a big dick is taboo and she would consider herself a slut if she admitted to herself that it is really what she wants or needs.

Well where the heck are you from? Who made up the rule that the girls where your from are not supposed to care about sex or expressing a specific desire? So if they do let you know they are enjoying it who makes them feel like a slut for admitting they like having sex with you?

Seems to me it would be a hellava lot more fun if your partner acted as though they were enjoying the whole ordeal!!!

Whats wrong with being a slut while your having sex anyway???
:babe2: :babe2: :babe2:

Well where the heck are you from?>>

I’m from the deep south, the culture is very conservative here.

>>Who made up the rule that the girls where your from are not supposed to care about sex or expressing a specific desire?>>

Who the fuck knows? All I can do is describe what I have observed in an area that is sexually conservative to the max.

>>So if they do let you know they are enjoying it who makes them feel like a slut for admitting they like having sex with you?>>

This is ingrained in the conservative culture these attitudes have been around for centuries (at least since the Victorian era)

>>Seems to me it would be a hellava lot more fun if your partner acted as though they were
enjoying the whole ordeal!!!>>

I agree, but acting as though one enjoys sex during the act is not the same as vocalizing about specific disires about sex outside the bedroom. I can tell you my wife seems to love sex during the act but can’t seem to talk about sex, she gets self conscious, embarassed, etc.

Whats wrong with being a slut while your having sex anyway???

I think my point is that many women would view themselves “slutty” if they admitted a desire for a bick dick or any specific sex act. I think it is a shame that this is so, I can tell you that it definitely gets in the way of communication. I basically have to anticipate, read body language, read between the lines of conversation to get any useful info about what wifey’s experience and desires are for our bedroom.

HMMMMMMM! Do you live in the USA?
I have admitted a lot of sexual desires in my time & I have enjoyed feeling slutty at times also. I dont have many problems with shyness. But I was never told I was supposed to feel bad about sex or sexual desires. Unless of course it brings harm to another. But I was taught to use be smart in my sexual endeavors. Like protection! Be careful not to put yourself in a dangerous situation. Stuff like that.

I cant imagine being ashamed of sharing sexual wants & needs with my husband who I have sex with. That must be a really tough thing to do & be ashamed of discussing it for fear Ill be thought of as a slutt. To me that isnt such a bad thing to be. Theres a time & place for it. But it has its usefull & enjoyable qualities.

Oh Well I guess its a smaller world than we think it is sometimes. Im not saying that what you have expressed is wrong. Im not saying that what I have expressed is right. Im just suprised by the big difference in ideas & judgments that man decides upon.

I guess if we were all alike it would be a boring world for me! There would be nothing to find out or explore with one another. I find that to be an exciting endeavor! Thanks for letting me ask you & not taking it personal.
:wave: : peace: :wave:

Good Luck in whatever you decide is best for you to do!

Please do keep us posted on how things turn out. We probably will learn something from all this & reflect back on it in thought someday! :-pink:

>>I dont have many problems with shyness. But I was never told I was supposed to feel bad about sex or sexual desires. >>

You are fortunate not to have this baggage.

>>That must be a really tough thing to do & be ashamed of discussing it for fear Ill be thought of as a slutt. >>

Well it even is worse than you think. It is not only not wanting a second party to have this opinion (such as a friend or husband) but fearing that admitting these kinds of thoughts would make one think of oneself as a slut.

>>Im not saying that what I have expressed is right. >>

No, I understand that you are refering to your own unique experience. I wish my wife didn’t have this baggage about expressing herself verbally about sex. I would not have as much work to do!!