Introduction To PE
Apologies for the length of this. Not expecting anyone to read it all because it has probably all been said. The first time I heard about jelqing was on 4chan around 2009. I probably did a bit of googling and immediately disregarded it because of injury, effort, and because I had no issues with my penis at all. I am only 18 and have had two sexual partners (long term). I had no issues at all pleasuring them and I’m very aware that if a girl had problems with my member, she wouldn’t be a match for me. More recently, I have become obsessed with it. Lurking around penis enlargement forums, googling all sorts of things about size that either reassure or destroy me, and measuring over and over. So first of all, I do realize this is a mental issue. I’m another victim of society. My mind is obsessive and toxic in nature, it is not the first time it has done things like this to me. Not long ago when I was 16 I was mortified that I hadn’t ever done anything with a girl. I began to get really obsessive about that and changing everything about myself. It actually worked. I’m a pretty depressed person who has taken anti-depressants in the past. Recently I had about a full year of happiness. This was mind-blowing for me. I had (and still have) a wonderful girlfriend, smoked lots of marijuana, and a best friend to distract me from my mind post paxil. Now I’m slipping into another void.
I started obsessively measuring a few months ago after sending the girlfriend a picture of my penis and noticing it did look pretty thin. I have never had issues with my penis size. It has been over 6 inches since I was a kid and always considered myself lucky. A normal measurement will get me to 6.3 inches. A good one will be 6.5. (Neither bone pressed). When I measured my girth though I was quite disappointed. A few months ago I was getting maybe 4.7 inches. Now more honestly I’m getting about 4.5 in the middle. It makes my heart sink every time. Girls put a lot of importance on girth and so having a thinner penis is sort of awful.
I am a thin human being, pretty short, no real muscle definition. And I’m not too horrified about any of it (just my toxic mindset can turn it into an issue). I enjoy being a bit different because my personality and is pretty charming and most girls are interested in what I say. It can be somewhat fun to win over girls without putting hours of effort into my body each week. In other words I’m a bit beyond average intelligence and consider myself more interesting than most people. ( I know that was probably annoying but at least be happy I have some self esteem).
My current girlfriend has told me that girth is important. I’m not sure if she realizes that my penis is a little thin, I doubt she can tell it isn’t average. She has only had sex with one other person. In the grand scheme of things, my real issue is premature ejaculation. I’ve always known I cum fast but I take a lot of care in not doing it around her. I will masturbate a few times before seeing her and smoking weed helps quite a bit. The only times I have cum quickly with her is when we wake up together and we go at it. I doubt she cares because usually our sex is 30-40 minutes and she probably feels like a champ making it happen.
So why do I care if she is happy with it. Well first of all we know we aren’t going to be together forever, we aren’t that naive. I know that younger inexperienced girls are less likely to hit the big dick lottery. It makes me feel horrible thinking (enter obsessive mind) that she will be fucked by bigger dicks that feel better. For instance when I thrust as deep as I can she loves it. But that is just it it is as deep as I can go. At a 4.5 inch girth I can imagine she will be filled up by some 5.5s etc. Sometimes when thrusting in doggy it does not feel very tight and I’m imagining she isn’t happy with the girth then.
Luckily, she isn’t the type to say anything negative. Probably not even to her friends. She loves the hell out of me and is way more concerned about my depressive nature (due to this subject) but more than anything I wish I could please her more easily.
Reading some of the horror stories from you guys in the “is it in yet” thread just makes me lose all faith. I know great girls are out there too. But I have so much empathy and pity for men who are cursed with small penises. Though in my mind I’m very aware sex is not everything. There are many things I consider better than sex. And I love having sex.
So obviously if I have joined this forum I have a slight obsession. I much more would prefer happiness than a bigger dick. That being said I really would just like an average girth. I have many problems with PE though. I can’t do penis exercises my whole life. I hate exercising in general because I don’t like it and I want to spend my life doing things I enjoy. The gains aren’t permanent. I could break my dick. It takes a lot of time out of your life. Etc.
I lived my life thinking I would never be turned down for my penis size. Now I’m thinking my girth will do less and less the older I get. And I fully realize guys who are small are lucky in a way because you won’t end up with someone horrible. Having a small penis could land you the best mate in the world. But that being said it is beginning to haunt me. Yesterday before and after having sex with my girlfriend it was on my mind. Just the number 4.5.
So this seems like the right place to say something. Women cheat and women talk and women belittle. And it sucks to think that sometimes it is about something we are born with. I’m really sorry that we live in this time and I wish I could just smoke a bowl with all you guys who feel less than adequate.
I always assumed I had an average girth. I’m interested in ways to increase girth even if it just PC muscles. Recently I had been exercising (everyday for 2 mo.) and didn’t notice much in the way of blood flow. Also interested in a way to change my mindset. Just curious to see what any of you have to say. Maybe there is dick growth even when you’re twenty. I’m days away from turning 19 and not sure how I can cope with my girth. I know I can pleasure females but there will always be a guy who can pleasure them better and that is probably why a lot of you are here. This seems like the most accepting place to post something like this. I don’t know how long I can stay because some of this just depressed the hell out of me. Maybe one of you can convince me to get into PE. Once again sorry for rambling. Peace and love to you all