I need help with ejaculation control ...

Ok, so it’s not premature ejaculation exactly … but since I’m cumming before I want to … IT IS for me.

I can have sex (and often do) for hours, with my ex wife the longest Ive gone was 6 hours without myself cumming and only a few breaks in between. currently “official” sex last about 40 - 60 min …

What is happening to me is: I find it nearly impossible to keep myself from cumming when my fiance has a vaginal orgasm, her whole life (I was told, hope its true) her orgasms have been clitoral, even with me for the first 2 years, but then a break through happened in my technique and I’m able to get her to cum, she moans and shakes in such a way that even though I didn’t feel like cumming I’m suddenly so turned on that I pop!

I’ve told her not to moan, I’ve told her not to tell me shes cumming, but she cant stop the quivering or convulsions so I cum, It’s horrible too because once she cums shes a multiple, one after another after another, I’ve managed to last through the first one but then the immediate next one is too much for me to bear and I cum right with her, she doesn’t mind BUT I DO! I would be a world class STUD if I could just keep going and get her to cum until she passes out or begs me to stop, I do anyway we are up to 12 but that’s using the ole’ “lick and stick” method I use stimulating her clitoris. STRICTLY vaginal intercourse is a whole other and new feeling she said and its MUCH stronger so Its the preferred method now for both of us, but I have this problem.

I’m doing the “lick and stick” for the initial few orgasms then the patented super secret new motion for the grand finale so we can both cum together but I hate not having that control, I feel like such a puss!

Do you think hypno-therapy will work? how can I get desensitized to HER cumming, btw my ex wife used to cum and it didn’t faze me, but she wasn’t a multiple like my girl now is. like most my problems this is strictly mental. please advise …

Use a desensitising product.. I haven’t tried one yet but will soon.. probably this weekend. Otherwise plug some cotton balls on your ears if you don’t want to hear her and also close your eyes.. If you are really reluctant to use any external help, then you could think of something bad that temporarily kills your excitation but not for long enough so that it kills the actual boner. You could as well keep banging but relax your pelvic area using some proprioceptive techniques.

Keep limiting her personal enjoyment purely for your benefit and she will stop cumming or wanting to have sex all.

Fix yourself, don’t wreck her!

While this will help as often as you use it. It will make the times that you don’t use the cream even more sensitive and exaggerate the original problem.

Honestly, my partner (and story about the ex) sounds identical to mine. With my ex it was a chore to get an orgasm out of either of us sometimes while my current fiance is very sensitive and expressive and lucky enough to experience multiple orgasm quite quickly when she wants.

In an effort to blow her mind, I spend a lot of the time getting into her head and imagining how what I am doing to her is feeling, reading her responses and acting accordingly. So when she cums its almost like its happening to both of us, and usually does. Fortunately I can keep going pretty strong even right after an orgasm. We joke about my first being a “warning shot” because continuing on to a second orgasm for me sets off a lot of orgasms for her, almost too many… she is out of her mind by then!

I wish I had a better trick I could share or use myself but I don’t. I can only suggest not trying to change her because she sounds amazing! :)

If you purchase a desensitising product, get a good one and read the warning label if it has one.
There was a thread many years ago mentioning desensitising products causing yeast infections.
They can also desensitise the vagina as well. I tried to find the thread, but I couldn’t.

asking my girl not to tell me she’s cumming is just a short term tactic, she is well aware of my “problem” and thinks it cute, she loves the fact that she has the power or that I care enough for her that I get weak … once I get into the right mindset then our sex life will be that much greater, we have had several “break through” (first time ever) events for her, now I need this break through for me.

Desensitizing products wont work because its in my head that I get over stimulated, its as I said, I’m trucking along just fine, then whammy! I bust my reluctant nut … I could and have pulled out completely to gain control but seeing her shiver and twitch I’m still increasingly turned on and so I still shoot my load. this will be a real problem when she’s not pregnant as we might accidentally get pregnant because of this, she’s on the fence about having a 3rd kid (my 5th) but shes starting to come around to my side :) until we decide if “that’s it” neither of us will get fixed.

Ive tried emptying the clip before going into sex with her the other day, so I whacked off 3 x’s in the restroom then showered and met her in bed, we had our usual “official” sex as we call it, I performed as usual, first the “lick and stick” then around her 8th or 9th orgasm she started to complain of being spent so I stepped up to my ‘patented super secret motion with depth control’ and sure as rain, as soon as she came I nutted with her, fortunately I keep hard for awhile after so I was still able to give her another two vaginal orgasms.

I know how to trick the system and please her until she physically cant continue, but I still feel like a puss for not being able to get over this mental nut … If I didn’t care for her as much, or if I thought it was no big deal for her to vaginal nut then I don’t think it would’ve turned me on so much, maybe I just need more time … we just had this “break through” about 6 months ago, and we haven’t messed around as much due to our pregnancy (she gets the Braxton hicks for hours after sex) so I haven’t been able to work it out in my head.

I’m going to look into hypo-therapy in the meantime lol, plus being 100% open with her about my weakness, I hope my break through comes soon so we can then move on to her learning to squirt! then only the anal orgasm (for her) is after that … “the ultimate breakthrough” to achieve “the eternal tri-fecta”

(I’m sharing waay too much with you guys!)

Have you tried relaxing your breathing? The tensing up from the excitement may be doing you, especially if you can usually last for hours…

How old are you.

I’m 39.

Breathing, now there’s a great Idea!

When I was first learning ejaculation control over 20 years ago I used to pull on my nuts to keep from cumming, it kept me from tensing up, I since was able to relax enough not to nut unless I wanted, but this level of excitement has me losing all control … I have to go back to the basics, which in reality is VERY difficult, we all take breathing for granted. like anything in life that’s worth doing there’s a right way, and a better way: we all can “paint” but very few of us are PAINTERS.

I’ll start by you-tubing “breathing techniques” for relaxation and go from there.

Had this problem myself. Two things worked for me:

The first was deciding I have complete control sexually and will come when I want to. I repeat this to myself occasionally with complete conviction, or as close as I can get to it. I think the important thing is to really believe it. If you can believe in yourself completely, this is all you’ll need. For me it improved things a lot, I’d still pop off when I didn’t want to sometimes, so not quite there yet.

Before I explain the second technique, some background. I used to be a very agnostic scientific materialist. I didn’t believe in anything “supernatural”. I had no belief in God, although unlike an atheist I had no problem admitting that lacking evidence to the contrary, there’s no way to rationally believe there isn’t one. I started meditating 8 years ago in the focused emptiness/dzogchen/awareness watching awareness/practice of presence/be still and know God (they all mean the same thing) style and in short order was forced to abandon my disbelief in the supernatural. I maintained agnosticism regarding a supreme being. 10,000+ hours of reading of Buddhism, Hinduism, Vedanta, Christianity, Gnosticism and modern teachers followed in the intervening years with the goal of understanding the reality opened up to me through meditation. Mission accomplished. See the Pathwork lectures for the best exposition of reality, they’re essentially a far more well expounded version of the eightfold path. With one huge difference that I initially found untenable, they state there is a God. Which brings us to step two.

Hilariously, the first thing I ever prayed to God for was to not come to soon. I was at the point where you’re about to come and there’s absolutely no way to stop yourself. I prayed to keep going, or for complete control, I forget which. It appears that this prayer was answered, because I was instantly able to keep going super hard when I’d been right on the verge of coming. I prayed for this not in desperation, but because I really wanted it and out of curiosity to test what I was reading in the Pathwork. I’m still unable to do this without prayer, although I’m working on developing the spiritual purification and power necessary for that. So, it seems the Pathwork is correct that unselfish prayers are answered. And it appears there’s probably a supreme being. Lol

After I started writing this, it occurred to me I need to start praying for a perfectly sized cock. One that allows my perfect mate, once I find her, to grind her clit on my pubic bone while being completely filled up. For anyone looking for larger than that, I don’t think your prayer would be answered because it would be selfish to go any bigger.

Experiment with these. If they work for you, let us know. If they do maybe we’ll have to start a thread explaining this technique to everyone where people can post their results. Then if that works out, a thread for hard gainers to test the theory. Lol

Give it a sincere go even if you’re an atheist. And report back.

Almost forgot.

Lay the super secret motion technique breakthrough on us you fucker. Come on, cough it up and with details please, stroke, position, everything.

PLEASE

I just hope it doesn’t require 9”.

You pretty much revealed the cause of your problem when you mention that you get turned on watching her actions when she comes, and just the idea of it excites you.
Its a simple psychological issue. I have the same problem.

Long ago I had a really beautiful, hot, sexy GF. I know, it sounds like bragging, but I had trouble believing it myself at the time, but I just went with it.
She made me so hot just looking at her, and whenever I was around her all I wanted to do was fuck her. Whenever we were going to have sex, I was usually hard before we even got started.
I had trouble lasting with her because she turned me on so much. Once when I was fucking her, I looked down on her naked body with her legs spread out and said, “you look so sexy!”
She yelled at me, “Shut up or you are going to come!”

I had another partner that was great. We always seemed to orgasm together.
Either I started coming because I could tell she was, or she started because she knew I was, but it always worked out.

The mental aspect is very powerful, as we all know. Just the desire for sex makes us do crazy things.

I once spoke to a porn star and asked him how they can last so long. He told me that he has to stop thinking about what he is doing. He said they look around at the stuff in the room, paintings, props, decorations, and concentrate on those.
I have tried it to some extent while edging, and it seems to have merit. You just have to get your mind off of the feelings, and ideas connected to the act.
It seems counter-productive since the whole purpose of having sex is to be excited and get off, but you have to set your priorities.
You have to become a mindless machine. When the time is right for the climax, you can become a human again.

Tiny makes a great point and reminds me that I forgot to mention part of my technique. It’s the mindless machine thing, if I feel myself getting too excited I stop focusing of the sensation and just empty my mind. When I do this I feel like a fucking machine and that I’m in complete control, it’s a really aggressive, dominating feeling. Nothing but prayer has brought me back from the very edge of coming and allowed me to keep pounding away hard and fast though.

This guys went from one second man to 1/2 hour man by using a fleshlight for practice:
Premature Ejaculation and fleshlight

And again, your vaginal orgasm technique please.

Promescent -
The newest “delay” spray is great. It’s really for treating premature ejaculation but men, like myself, have used it to last longer.
It has quick absorption into the skin so it doesn’t transfer to the woman.

If you are a normal man with no premature ejaculation issues then 1 (one) spray is all you need. Trust me on this. :)