Coping with previous "competition"

How many of you out there have discovered that your partner has had sex with a well endowed lover? Perhaps you made the mistake of asking, or maybe you just found out. Either way, have you learned to cope with this competition? Does the “vision” haunt you?

It is irrelevant. Forget about it.

I find this very hard to cope with as well, and this is one of the main reasons for PEing. I am naturally a very jealous and envious person in regards to anything at all, and I bet you are too. I bet you didn’t want to know but couldn’t help yourself but ask?

Welcome, tamegomaith.

At least half the members here can commiserate with your problem.

The only thing that helps one to cope with this issue, I think, is time. The blow hurts at first, but like everything else in life, you adapt to the fact that you don’t have the largest cock she’s ever experienced. And you recognize that with some PE, you may even be able to change that fact :) .

In the meantime, you’re best off never bringing up this issue with your lover again. Doing so will only make you look insecure and will keep the topic perpetually on your mind. It’s normal for “visions” to haunt you for a while, but if you keep them to yourself and fuck your lover’s brains out with confidence, you’ll begin to feel better in no time.

One of the things that helped me to deal with this in the past (before PE) was to improve my love making skills and do some proper research on the Internet. You will find some great advice in some of the forums.

I used to think that size was all that mattered, but when I realised how crap I was in bed before, and how good I had become, I found out that this really wasn’t the case.

+ You’ll hopefully have a big penis for you and your lover to look forward to in the future!

What size are you tamegomaith?

And how much bigger was the other guy?

This was THE reason for me to even think of making my penis bigger or worrying about my size. It was just through verbal discussion (we weren’t having sex or anything) back in December of 2002, but still… it really depressed me and made me self conscious about it. So I did something about it and well… here I am today.

My girlfriend loves monster cock and I have a short penis but confidence really makes a difference :)

EXCELLENT TOPIC OF DISCUSSION TAMEGOMAITHE!

Yes that vision haunts me every day.That is my entire reason for discovering PE. I love my GF to death, but Im a perfectionist and dont want to be 2nd best when it comes to anything with the woman I want to marry. I was terrified when I found out that her X was huge!. It ate me up 24hrs/day 7 days/week. It was soo bad that I almost broke up with her over it, and Im considering proposing to her… To this day I still struggle and get depressed about it.

If it wasnt for finding this site weeks back, I would have broke up with her for sure. I find the most comfort reading threads on this site about guys who have had success. I also choose to let her know exactly how big of an issue it was to me instead of not talking about it. I think you should defanately communicate with her about how you feel.

After telling my GF about how upset I get thinking about it, she offered me lots of comfort and swore up and down that it didnt matter to her, and shes looking at the whole picture and not just my penis. This helped a bit too… The fact still remains that I’ll never be the biggest she’s had, and we all know that for most girls, bigger is gonna be better and give her a more intense orgasm.. But I’ve turned that into my drive for dedication to PE

God Bless bro!

My length is usually 6.5” to just under 7”. Mid-shaft girth varies from 5 1/8” to 5 1/4”, with base at 5 1/2” to 5 5/8”. These are regular measurements, as in not pumped or drug enhanced. I find that my penis can be capricious, and varies in size quite often. Note that I measure length from topside base, not pressed in, and use a fabric tape measure.

The impression I’ve had about “competition” seems to be a girth issue, although no, I don’t have specifics.

My original topic idea was just to discuss the idea of competition. I admit the thought of it has troubled me, but I don’t pursue discussion of this with my partner.

I think, however, this topic has effected most every man at some point in his life, and merits exploration. That said, the healthier attitude is to look for solutions and not dwell in perceived inadequacies.

This is a fantastic website!

Good to read your comments!

Remember that she chose you, despite having had sex with a man with a larger penis. Yes, you are with her now, so the supposedly larger penis wasn’t a strong enough draw to keep them together. I also need to mention that women are terrible at guessing how large a penis is, even when they are holding it. My partner thought my penis was eight inches! I had a good laugh at that, and was confidant enough to correct her by saying, “Well, that’s close, but I’m just a little shorter!” Never thought I’d admit to being smaller than an estimate!

I agree with the other posts that the discussion of your penis size (as in too small etc.) with your partner is more harmful than helpful. I’ve introduced my partner to Kegels, and she can clamp down on me like nothing else. We’ve both noticed that our sexual intercourse is greatly enhanced because of our increased body awareness, and so is our communication. In fact, our improved communication has really helped our whole relationship.

To close, remember as well that you have found a solution in PE, that you have a goal in mind, and that you are in control of the situation. Patience is paramount to results, and you have a great deal of support on this site.

All the best to you!

I had a girlfriend once, we actually lived together for 2 years who had a relationship with a very well hung guy when we met. We got drunk one night and I asked her why she was with this guy. I thought he was kind of uninteresting, not to say boring, and she said “…well he’s got a good body a nice boat and a huge dick”. Still she chose me. I wasn’t in a very good shape (OK though) didn’t have a big dick and I had no boat.

Size means dick (pun intended) unless it’s the only thing that makes differentiate two guys. My female friends say that if 2 guys are equal they go for the bigger dick. Of course! I’d go for the bigger tits if 2 girls were otherwise equal.

Another girlfriend of mine just loved huge dildos. She had an enormous one that was 9” in girth and around 12” long. She really got turned on by playing with it. She was so happy the first time she managed to take it in she almost cried. It took some time and dedication. No way I would feel inferior to a fake dick just because it’s big, besides I loved to watch her use it. It turned me on as well. She didn’t want another guy or another guys dick, just the big dildo and she didn’t use it all the time.

I have become more confident with my size over the years but still I’d enjoy a bigger member for the visual effect and for the feel in my hand and of course I would be able to suck it myself if it was a few inches longer :D (no gay thing, I just want to be able to do it if I feel like it)

I’ve got that “spirit of competition” myself, and for that fact i’ve always avoiding asking my girlfriend the question. Also…the fact that girls talk really gets to me. I don’t wanna be known as “the little guy” in her little group of friends. Hooray! More motivation to stick to the routine!

I do not think women realize the implications of telling a man that “she has had bigger” My wife mentioned to me that her previous boyfriend was bigger after I was stupid enough to ask. She reasured me that I was “better” though. Do I believe her that I was better? Irrelevant - I’m growing my dick to be the biggest she has ever had :) This haunts me to this day, and it’s probably a good thing because I make sure she is completely satisfied and I do not miss a PE session :)