I would appreciate some feedback...
This maybe sportsguy in 25 years….
I need advice. My wife of almost 25 years is very cool when it comes to sex and general displays of warmth and affection. We rarely even kiss much more than a peck hello or goodbye.
In the bedroom she rarely initiates sex, and if she does it’s the same old fondle me with her hands until I get an erection and then it’s all up to me. No kissing, only missionary position and very little response from her during intercourse verbally or otherwise. This all needs to take place in as dark a place a possible.
My wife has a dynamite figure that she works hard at keeping. Even so, I rarely see her (any of her) naked. She makes no attempt to wear anything provocative to bed, and will often get mad at me if I walk in when she’s dressing.
For years I have satisfied her orally, and then had intercourse with her on the bottom. I have always enjoyed kissing and fondling and foreplay. But she is so unresponsive to any type of this activity. Once in a great while she will make a half-hearted attempt at giving me oral sex, but only for a very short time and she’s obviously not into it. She has admitted to me at times verbally but certainly through her long term actions, that sex is not that important to her.
Our sex life was not always this dull, when we were first married and during the early years of our marriage sex for us was fairly good, although things did seem to cool off quickly and fall into the above pattern.
I’m sure that certain questions about me come to mind. Yes I shower daily. Yes I brush my teeth. Yes I try to be a warm loving compassionate husband when she’s overwhelmed with daily life activities. Yes I do my share of the work around the house and with our kids etc…
I have obviously at times, tried to discuss my feelings with my wife. Normally just bringing up the topic of sex is met with her getting irritated and us ending up in a fight. I just have a hard time living with the fact that this is the way it is, and the way it’s going to be. It seems like in a healthy love relationship sex and otherwise is about giving and making your partner feel like they are special to you. Communication and a desire to fulfill each other’s needs seem paramount in any working relationship.
At this point I’m literally freaking out. I am 46 years old and not ready for the sex life of a much older person, not to mention that outside the bedroom there’s not much compassion for me. Sometimes I feel like a piece of the furniture. I am seriously considering divorce, but I really have hoped not to break up my family that way.
She doesn’t believe there’s a problem. She thinks I am oversexed. Am I? I would settle for 2X per week if the quality was there. I say that I am pretty normal. It’s not just the sex. There is something much deeper here, be it physical or emotional. As long as she doesn’t see a problem, we will always be stuck in the same rut.
Are all women like this?