Female curiosity

Oh hey, I’m not here to understand your psyches. I want to learn all there is to know about cock—and you men seem to be the most knowledgable on the Internet. Incredible amount of male sexual function information here. I like men who call me on my p’s and q’s too, it’s refreshing to have scientific debate.

In particular if there are threads on jelquing and erectile hardness, or any other techniques to improve erections, I’m am very interested. Also BC muscle threads.

I’m fielding quite a bit of e-mail asking for sex advice to help women. I’m up to 54 pm’s already. Happy to answer it privately—I love helping women become orgasmic, or more orgasmic. But I would ask the men to perhaps consider posting publicly. Many of the questions asked are very common situations, and I think the other men here would benefit from hearing both the questions and the answers. And this place is completely anonymous. On the other hand, I understand if men want to keep the questions private.

Zaneblue, I beg to differ. Although I realize that your statement was generalized. I am sure when you say women, you aren’t really referring to all women or so I reluctantly assume, I still disagree as far as I am personally concerned.

I don’t always have vaginal orgasms. Its not due to the lack of interest nor not knowing what I am missing and not caring either way. I know what I am missing. And I do care. Yet, at the same time, I know my sexual experience does not and will never revolve around an orgasm. Orgasms are great and having a man inside of me is even better. But sex is more than penetration to me and has always been that way. At least as far as I could remember. It’s about the intimacy and the willingness to do things with this person you wish not to do with any other person. It’s about wanting to share something private and personal with someone you like, care about or love. It would be fantastic if I could have an orgasm each time I have sex which involves penetration alone, but if I sat around and fretted over it, I would never want to even be bothered with having sex at all. I just chalk it up as a reality that will either change or it won’t. In the meantime, I enjoy sex with and without the orgasm.

As far as it revolving around appearance. I guess that is a matter of personal experience as well. I am not lacking in an orgasm because I think sexuality begins with appearance. One does feel more sexy when they are in agreement with their appearance but if you have a partner that makes you feel sexy or you are actually happy in the skin you are in (go figure) it doesn’t matter what your appearance may be. It’s more about a feeling for me than it is about what is seen and not seen. And it really does help when you have a partner that makes you feel sexy.

As far as the rest goes, I can’t dispute you. Not as if I am disputing you above. I achieved more orgasms before I had children, but then I never had a single vaginal birth. I do feel the more I kegel the more tighter I feel. The tighter I am, the better the sensation is. Could this all be just a mind game I have played on myself based on what people continuously say about a tight vagina? Sure. And until I decide to un-train that frame of mind, I guess I will continue to believe that kegels help with the sensations due to the tightening of the vagina during vaginal sex.

But that’s just how I personally feel. :)

zane,

If you have repeat offenders in the PMs, let me know and I’ll send them a friendly reminder of what a forum does. :)

I’m not sure which post exactly you are referring to, but yes of course there are many women whose sexuality does not revolve around their appearance. But it is prevalent in women.

Women do often find me extremely disconcerting. I am very focused on the nuts and bolts of sexuality. This is because I am emotionally damaged. I had a very difficult, long marriage that managed to erase almost all capacity for normal female eroticism. Near the end there was some minor physical abuse too. This has left me so incredibly cold, that I have found even trying to have extremely casual relationships causes the men to get hurt somehow. I am finally divorced now, and hope that things will get better.

In a sense I’m like that autistic woman who understood cows so well she was able to redesign stockyards to make the cows more contented. The emotional damage has left me with a very strong physiological sexual focus. There is plenty out there on the emotional aspects of female sexual function, but very very little on basic female physiological sexual function. I hope and believe that a strong physical foundation will only help women have more fulfilling sex lives, with all the emotional aspects enhanced. I don’t mean to cast aspersions, intimidate or dismiss in any way.

About PC muscle tone—it’s more than just a better fit from stronger tone that contributes to vaginal orgasms. Improved muscle tone increases bloodflow to the entire genital area. Dr. Beverly Whipple has done a study showing a woman’s vaginal orgasmic ability (and ejaculation ability) is directly correlated with PC muscle tone. It’s proven science. Now simply getting good muscle tone won’t necessarily give a woman the ability to have vaginal orgasms—the ability is dependent on hormones and brain chemistry too, but if you are already able to have vaginal orgasms, increasing tone will increase vaginal orgasm strength and frequency.

Now the sensitive part is convincing women that there is an exercise more effective than kegels. Kegels certainly do help—they will give some minor tone. Just like simply flexing one’s arm will help very weak bicep tone. But to get truly great tone resistance is needed. Perhaps if I used a quote. This is what one woman had to say after I convinced her to try the gyneflex:

“Ok I broke down, I want to see what all the talk is about. I did my research found that for the number of children I have I need to start out with a 3 and 4 flex strength altho I wanted to get the 5 and 6 completely full of myself thinking I have a really tight pussy not being able to fit two fingers in comfortably. Let me first explain the flex strength 1 and 2 are three or more births of 8 lbs or more 3 and 4 are one or two births 8lbs or more and 5 and 6 is no child birth. 6 is like virgin pussy and where I want to be Each is a harder plastic and the goal is to clamp the thing shut inside the vagina.

I have three children but only one around 8lbs so I got the 3 or 4. I got the 3 all lubed up read the instructions, thinking I’m gonna pop this in and clamp it shut and then move to the 4. Oh no, I barely moved the damn thing let alone shut it.

I have a lot of work to do.”

And another woman’s response

“I’ve been “exercising” for years .. Thats what red lights are for.

I do pretty well ‘holding on’ to toys tho”

And her response

“I’m not telling you to get one but thats the way I was I would do aout 200 kegels a day. Thinking I was all that. You need resistance to build the muscle not just flexing it.”

Oh no, I wouldn’t call them “offenders.” I am very, very happy to answer all questions about female sexuality—I love spreading the good word. I totally understand the privacy issue too, not a problem. Just if there were men who would feel comfortable posting publicly I think it would be good for other people here too.

Me too.

zane,

I may be putting you the spot with this, and I realise you may not have given it much thought (other than the positive note about Thunder’s in the quote), but I was wondering what differences, and sames, you have noticed between Thunder’ and Measurecton’s members pertaining to penis discussions (even though you aren’t here to understand our psyches :) ). Attitudes, approaches to the size subject, etc. Are we asking many of the very same questions you’ve been asked before? Since this is a penis enlargement forum, and Measurection isn’t, then it seems they would deal with insecurities with a more intense ‘mind over matter’ approach. After 2 years there you would have a much better feel for that forum’s environment than I can get just from reading a few threads there. And you have followed the threads here for some time.

Good point. I’ve shown the book to a couple of women who have shown interest, but they seemed to have gotten bored with the exercises. I just never realized it may have been discouragement rather than boredom that made them quit.

I have the same attitude about vaginas. I’ve tried getting involved in other women’s boards for that same purpose but I haven’t found any female counterparts to this forum. Any ideas?

Well, I think one thing is for certain: men think about penis size the way women think about fashion. Ostensibly both penis size and fashion are for the opposite sex. And in a basic sense they are. A guy with a three-inch penis and a woman who only dresses in baggy sweatpants, men’s T-shirts and no makeup are both going to have a hard time attracting favorable sexual attention, unless they’ve got a helluva lot of other stuff going for them. For example, Cary Grant who had a micropenis. And I know this other man whose erect penis is only an inch long but he is jaw-droppingly beautiful and romantic and whatnot and has a complete bombshell of a wife, very sexual wife. But in general, on a very basic level, yes fashion is important to women’s sexual attractiveness just as penis size is important to men’s.

The only problem is the attention of the opposite sex generally stops at the basic level, and that’s not really understood. If a cock can hit the cul de sac, that’s really all the length a woman is interested in (and as I have said, shorter men can also learn to work the g-spot and give their women just as much pleasure, if not more—ejaculation is fun). And men are pretty pleased with a woman wearing a silky revealing dress, sheer pantyhose, a little makeup and some high heels. A woman could get all that stuff at KMart and the man wouldn’t know the difference.

The reason women buy designer clothes and Jimmy Choo shoes is for other women. The only men who would notice a difference are gay men and a few rare metrosexuals. Some women spend ridiculous amounts of money on clothes and makeup ostensibly to be hot, but really it’s to be competitive. Same thing with men. When a man thinks he’s small if he’s not eight inches, that’s a man competing with other men, I do believe. Especially concerns about flaccid hang. That’s for the urinals and the locker rooms, not the bedroom. Women don’t give a damn about flaccid hang, not one bit.

I respect that, it’s a guy thing. I wouldn’t like a guy telling me to not be so silly and to stop reading fashion magazines. Only problem is that men get the same issue that women do. Some women looking at all the fashion magazines start thinking because they aren’t anorexically bony and don’t have a French manicure that they don’t deserve to have sex. And then just give up and let it all go to hell, when really fashion is there to make the best of a woman’s attributes. That was the thing that finally drove me away from measurection—there were men there who were so convinced that they could never sexually satisfy any woman that they didn’t deserve to have sex, just because their penis was really thin or only four inches long. Which is just stupid. More than half of all women can only have clitoral orgasms anyhow. A man with an enthusiastic tongue is going to trump Mr. 8x6 every time.

And that’s really where most of the small-dickitis jokes women tell come from. It’s not that the guy has a tiny penis, it’s that he has a tiny penis and then goes out and buys an expensive sportscar and is incredibly hostile towards women. It’s the penis size insecurity not the actual penis size.

Now most of the guys at measurection are very comfortable with themselves and their cocks, and that’s a very attractive thing. And they do a good job of supporting the insecure men. But after spending so much time there, the insecure men really started to get to me, so I quit posting because I genuinely like small cock, and didn’t want them to make me prejudiced against it from annoyance by association.

Nice post.

Just one thing I want to disagree with (or not disagree, since I think you were probably restricting it to just the bedroom).
Women do look with interest at flaccid bulges in pants.

Awesome post, Zaneblue :up: I love the fashion-dicksize comparison.

You should start a vaginal-improvement forum with all your knowledge!

Well, I’m not going to say women aren’t at all interested, but this whole realm is still very new. For example, Elle Magazine interviewed me recently. The interviewer started off by saying she found it fascinating that I encouraged women to develop their own sexual response almost like an athlete. It’s just a novel thing that women are only starting to think about.

As I said before, generally women’s sexual developments lag fifty years behind men. Fifty years ago, in the 1950’s, it was commonly held scientific knowledge, considered incontrovertible fact, that erectile dysfunction was purely psychological in nature, and the only treatment for it was therapy with a psychiatrist, where attitudes about sex, early sexual thoughts, masturbation practices and religious values were all explored. Some crude therapeutic sexual practices, like homework, were prescribed—but really the focus of the problem was the mind.

Now of course we know that’s completely wrong. There are many things that cause ED, most of them related to general health and medications (diabetes, alcoholism, blood pressure medications, etc.) And a simple pill cures ED. Women are still stuck in the 1950’s. Current accepted medical practice for treating female sexual dysfunction is counselling, and some marital strategies often described as “take a bubble bath.” Some doctors are rebelling and prescribe testosterone treatment off-label and trying other tricks, but the overwhelming mindset is “it’s all in her head.” I regularly get attacked by sexual health professionals for my approach. I’m not saying psychology isn’t valuable, but if a woman’s problem is physiologically based, talk isn’t going to help. And if it is psychologically based, getting her body and libido into peak sexual form will only help to break through psychological sexual barriers.

That’s a long-winded way of saying there really isn’t anything out there, aside from some books. I’m not aware of any forums dedicated to women improving their sexual function. I’ve started threads in various places on the topic, but there isn’t a central location, except I suppose forums for commercial products. I think the Kegelmaster 2000 website has a forum, but of course the focus is just on that one product, not exploring all the options a woman has available. Fsdinfo.org is mostly focused on testosterone replacement therapy. Newshe.com has that somewhat, but really it’s a general female sexual dysfunction board dealing with serious issues like vaginismus, vestibulitis, and intact hymen,etc. More a focus on fixing problems than positive improvement.

Some good books are For Women Only by the Bermans and Susan Rako’s book, but those have more to do with what a doctor can do to help women, although they do cover the basics of female physiology. Lou Paget and Barbara Keesling come at it from the other direction—mostly focused on sexual technique, they do also mention exercises women can do to improve things on her own.

But really I’m unique. As far as I know.

Oh yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes! If I say so myself, I have an excellent eye for judging by the hang of the trousers. But the only reason women do that is for extrapolation purposes. If the guy is already naked and still flaccid, well that’s a fixer-upper :chuckle:

For example:

Not wanting to sound weird but…

Has anyone noticed that even female relatives can’t help but look too? I’m cringing as I write that because of the possible context abuse, but it seems to be wired at a very deep level - a bit like men talking to breasts.