Edging Question

I have been edging for a very long time and I would like to say that personally it’s always been about what is happening in my head. I can last for however long, depending on how quickly my head wants to give in and not necessarily my penis. For example when I am close to PONR, I could possibly not go over the edge, even if I maintain masturbating, if my brain did not want it to happen. In other words me ejaculating depends alot on what is going on in my head, rather than how fast or strong my strokes are. The moment my brain gives in, the penis does and that is a problem as my head cannot comprehend high levels of arousal for a long period of time. I can control the urge mentally for about 5 mins after reaching near PONR but after that it is too much and I ejaculate. People say to think of something non sexual, but how do you do that? When I see a hot girl(real life or videos) all I can think about is fucking her brains out or my hand. Personally it is impossible to think of anything other than the sexy girl. If I think about what is best for her and not for myself than that just makes me even more hornier. Seeing a hot girl enjoy what I am doing to her, also makes so much more hornier. So what I am asking is, how do I train my head to not want to cum?

Don’t know how you do that, Adolf, if your head wants that. :)

Probably best to follow your head?

Maybe someone else here has an idea or two.

Thanks dude, my problem seems to be rare considering that no one could give me any advice. My head gives in 5 mins into reaching PONR, so I need to train it somehow.

There was an example of this problem today. I was edging and I reached the point where I was one moment away from ejaculating, so I kept hold of my penis without moving my hand. I than got a bag, to put over my hand and dick, so when I decide to cum it obviously goes inside. So when I started to put the bag over the penis, I had a strong urge to cum as I knew that the bag signalled close to cumming. I took the bag away, without moving my hand which had been holding the penis with a strong grip. As I took the bag away the urge went way but I was still in the highly aroused state. I tried to put the bag again in place and the urge came again, and it went away as soon as the bag was gone, the above happened for a 3rd time.

Adolf, it’s one thing to end up after years and years with a bag. But you seem to be in love with one already. :)

Nice one, avocet8.

It seems like the initial post is not very clear to the reader, so I will try again. Basically, when I get close to PONR, I won’t ejaculate if my mind does not want it to happen. If it does than I will ejaculate. In other words kegels, stroke rate and grip plays only a small role in me ejaculating, my brain plays the big role. If I think of how aroused I am, how aroused the girl is and whatever, my brain wants to ejaculate because it is having so much sexual fun. If I don’t think about that stuff, than I won’t ejaculate as my mind would not really be aware of the fun so ejaculation will not be thought of. The problem is, I can’t think of anything other than how much fun it is, so I end up ejaculating very quickly. I don’t understand how you can think of anything else other than the chick and the sexual encounter. Hope that was better.

I’m no master in this, but from my experience (on and off edging) there were a couple of things which seem to help more than a bit. First thing I would tell you is meditation. Now, don’t take it as a newage thing or whatever, just spend ten minutes a day in a quiet room and focus on contemplating yourself while breathing and relaxing your body..that’s all.. after a while, when you get it easily (at first you’ll find your mind cruising around and not staying focused) when you are in a deep relaxed state, visualize yourself having sex with the outcome you want to achieve. After sometime you might have some nice surprise..of course it’s all in your mind!

You shouldn’t end your edging sessions with ejaculation because I think it defeats the purpose. Edging is done to gain stamina, and self control. And beating the urge to ejaculate. Women will appreciate these qualities.

I don’t think it’s the “brain” in your way, but the habit of the body. You must be determined to defeat this. I end sex without ejaculating. And I’m totally comfortable with it now. But it wasn’t like this before I had done tons of edging and kegels.

Being too close to the PONR is dangerous. You don’t have to target %99 arousal. %90 will do.

I agree with kaan on this.

Hi kaan. :wave:

You want to back away from the point of no return (PONR) well ahead of the danger zone and then work slowly to be able get closer to it without losing it.

How your body holds tension is important to monitor, don’t limit your focus to your dick and perineum alone. If you find yourself ‘bracing’ yourself against ejaculation, stop, see where those muscles are locking up, and consciously relax them. It’s very important to breathe and let go of this tension.

It’s also very important to use breathing as a way to stave off tension in general. If you catch yourself holding your breath in this process put your attention on breathing reasonably slow and relaxed breaths. Initially it doesn’t even really matter if your erection flags a little until you get used to this. You want to allow for less-than-perfection as you learn.

Any thoughts?

Thanks for the reply’s.

I have tried breathing techniques but it has made little difference to my arousal or ejaculation. Sometimes the breathing makes me even more hornier, and other times it slightly decreases my arousal. Like the stroke rate, and grip it does not affect my ability ejaculate that much but the arousal level of the brain decides.

I will incorporate, not getting too close to PONR. So the aim would be to be around 90% and if it goes any higher I should stop, right? So the aim would be to increase the time to get to PONR, by using this technique?

Cirolli, I will try the meditation but what will it help achieve and how is it related to stopping ejaculation?

I can’t speak for cirolli, but it seems to me that it’s related to keeping the body relaxed.

If you don’t feel your body relax as you breathe I would say you’re still overly focused on the sensations in your dick and it’s immediate surroundings. If you don’t feel yourself relaxing as you breathe, stop, put your focus on the breath and forget about the stroke rate, etc..

Tune in to your body and see what is what.

The idea is to extend your awareness through your entire body. Orgasm is not limited to ejaculation, and edging will be more successful if your concentration encompasses more than just monitoring the direct feedback of your arousal.

In terms of the specific anatomy involved, see if over-breathing into a reverse Kegel does the trick.

I will say, though: attempt to relax every part of your body except for the erection itself.

See how little you need to do to accomplish this.

I hope that makes sense.

Like Kaan said don’t cum when edging the whole point is to teach your dick that being touched does not always lead to release. I always edge when I do PE like jelqing/squeezes and than I don’t cum.

Why would being close to PONR be dangerous?

Perfect, I can get a visual on that one. Your mind eventually becomes the penis. And it decides when it is time to cum.

Meditation and visualizing yourself having sex while in a deep relaxed state should help changing the habit of coming fast..of course, as Kaan says, it’s a body habit, but the body reflexes are commanded by the brain.