ED Worries...

Hey, i’m 28 and have perfectly healthy bowel movements, but right now i’m crapping my pants…

over the last week it has dawned on me that I have fairly severe ED. Between the age of 18 and 25 I didn’t have sex at all, due to depression/withdrawal from socialising. When I was 16 I was fine, horny as a newt, well up for it, no problems. But now I can’t maintain a decent erection on my own, and I don’t think i’ve managed to get a rock hard erection with a girl in 3 years. Admitedly i’ve only seen any decent amount of action with the ladies in the last year, and only just this past 2 months have I had any kind of sustained sexual involvement with a girl. Hows this for a statistic - between the ages of 18 and 28 no girl made me cum… last month i was having sex and blew my load for the first time in female company for over a decade! That was a good one.

Saying this, although i can usually get it hard enough to have sex, I need a lot of physical stimulation, and I find it hard to maintain the erection and pretty impossible to get it fully hard, although this last girl of 2 months, of whom I actually started getting comfy with, was not very strong in the enthusiasm dept. - I think she expects men to be hardon machines or something.. they don’t realise we need lovin’ too! So maybe if she was really attentive and passionate I would be able to acheive a hard erection. Either way i’d lose it after 5 seconds of non stimulation so whats the point?!… (by the way, she finished it with me yesterday on the grounds that she wasn’t feeling the physical attraction chemistry. She denied it, but i’m pretty sure the sex, or lack thereof, had a very large affect on how sexually attracted she was to me, which of course, piles on more worries about ED!) I can sit there and if im horny enough watch some porn or whatever and get 75% hard, then if i take my hand off and look at it, i’ll just lose it… theres none of this ‘pulsing’ up that I used to experience when i was a kiddie.

The weird thing is, I can’t honestly remember when I lost the ability to get hard. I think it’s due to a degree of denial, and getting used to jerking of when not fully erect, so the lines get blurred as to when it actually happened.

So, i’ve been to the Doc’s and have a blood test on Friday. But i’m really worried that i’ve maybe damaged myself from doing PE a few years ago. I only did it for a few weeks, and bits on and off, and I always warmed up well. I saw slight gains too! However, I think I did something stupid in the stretching dept. Well, you know everyone stretches from the glans, I found it more effective to stretch from the base, grabbing and pulling from where it counts, rather than stretch from the glans and allow all of the stretchy tissues to dissipate the forces, i just got my fingers around the base at the top and pulled from there. I never really hurt myself or anything, maybe little niggling pain but nothing serious. But now i realise there are loads of important nerves round there and i’m really worried I might have damaged them by stretching in this manner.

Any insights into this guys?

I am getting more relaxed with girls and getting aroused but i’m still not seeing full hard erections, and i dont get morning wood, only lazy erections. And even if I do get really hard (point of ejaculation), as soon as i let go i’ll lose it in 10 seconds pretty much.

I’m really stressing here because it’s a lottery whether its mental or physical. If it’s in my head then i’ll be so happy because it’s curable, but I have a feeling that it’s a combination of mental and physiological conditions thats causing it, so I might have this forever, only being able to treat it temporarily with pills etc… i’m only 28, and I haven’t even had a decent sex partner yet… arrrgh!

Anyone got any thoughts on this please?

Cheers!

Also, I I was maybe sometimes a bit too hard when I jelqed, and I 2 have big veins at the top of my cock and they cross over each other, anyway the smaller of them thrombosed I think (I had an small circle of blood under the skin at the point the veins cross), and now that vein is always more prominant because the blood flow is less due to some degree of blockage where the break occured. It’s worse when i’m cold but lets say I tried some pe and got really warm, the vein would be fine then due to the increased blood flow and relieved pressure. So, that may be a factor in my ED, or I may be worrying over fook all, I don’t know.

By the way, she finished it with me yesterday on the grounds that she wasn’t feeling the physical attraction chemistry. She denied it, but i’m pretty sure the sex, or lack thereof, had a very large affect on how sexually attracted she was to me, which of course piles on more worries about how ED may affect me!

Depression is an erection killer. Unfortunately many of the drugs to treat it (in the SRRI class) are as well.

You may not be depressed now, years later, but my guess -from what you say- is that you still carry the non-erection stigma with you in some form of Performance Anxiety.

Before you embark on another relationship, talk with your doctor about a short course of Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra. When opportunity strikes again (and please don’t shy away from it), use the drug as directed. You’ll probably find that you don’t need nearly the usual stimulation to stay very hard. A couple of successes down the road and you can pack the ED drug away as a “security blanket.”

If your libido remains high and you experience nocturnal erections or good erections when you masturbate alone, likely there is nothing organic going on.

Cheers for the reply.

I can rarely get a decent erection on my own though, and it refuses to stay up if i do manage it! And I never wake up with a full on hard on, maybe 70% if i’m lucky. If i really tried and by some miracle (by non visual stimulation, and my own hand) I managed to get fully erect, as soon as i let go i’d lose it in 5 seconds.

I think I agree with what you say about the past staying with me to some degree. I have some big mental barriers to get over.

I’m still not happy that there isn’t some physical aspect at play as well and thats my worry. From what i’ve said about the PE I did, do you think I could have damaged some nerves with bad technique? After having another think, some guys hang weights from their weiners all day at work and are ok, and when involved in PE for years it’s inevitable to get some injuries along the way. But I don’t know if my inexperience and over zealousness might have caused something permament. waddya reckon?

Also, if I took a course of viagra, could that possibly re-enstate the automatic healthy brain processes of a fully functioning person? I mean aside from being able to get it up a few times and get a bit more confidence. I wonder if it would actually get the brain used to sending and receiving the right messages again. If, indeed, they have been stifled over the past number of years!

Cheers!

I agree with avocet8 about asking your doc for a trial of any of the three ED drugs (after he or she determines that you are healthy enough to take it). The chances that doing PE would cause the erection situation you’re experience is quite unlikely. Taking a course of the little blue pill (or its different colored alternatives) would prove to you that you can physically achieve and sustain full firm erections and that you have not damaged your capacity to do so.

Sorry to say that since the prescription ED drugs actions are at the level of the blood vessels, they have nothing to do with training your brain’s control over your erections. That is a whole different ball of wax. There are many reasons why you may be experiencing you erection symptoms. Determining what your difficulties are is beyond the ability of anyone in this forum to do without first getting far more information and examining you. You might want to ask your doc whether he can refer you to either a urologist who specializes in sexual medicine or non-urologists who practice in this area who can assist you with your concerns.

Good luck.

I have similar a history and problems. Fortunately, a lot of the same things work for both depression and erection problems. If you aren’t already, you need to exercise. “Depression is related to low levels of certain neurotransmitters like serotonin and norepinephrine. Exercise increases concentrations of these neurotransmitters by stimulating the sympathetic nervous system. Recent evidence suggests that clinical depression might arise from the brain failing to grow new neurons in a specific area.” Exercise creates new neurons, increases metabolism, endorphins and prompts the body to release more growth hormone. (You need to sleep 8 hrs every night for this.) Compound movements such as bench, squat and dead lift increase testosterone levels. Low testosterone can also cause depression, get tested for it the next time you get blood work.

You need to cut out or severely restrict flavored drinks, processed sugars, simple carbs, flours and unhealthy fats while eating lean meats, healthy fats, non-starchy veggies, nuts, fruits and complex carbs. If you eat small meals every two or three hours this will keep your blood sugar even so you’ll feel better and less anxious. Protein deficiency can also cause depression, which is why so many people have it lift for the first time ever while on the Atkins diet.

Fish oils help build muscle, reduce fat, inflammation, risk of cancer and are a natural anti-depressant. They’re cheap too. Start off with 3000mg a day. ZMA is a natural test booster. It doesn’t work for everybody, but it’s worth a shot.

Yoga is great for stress and muscle tension relief, getting balance in ones life and a hell of a work out too.

For ED specific stuff, you need to force blood in your penis. Make sure you do your kegels. Don’t overdo it, it’s a muscle. Try some light jelqing every other day and slowly increase the amount and intensity. Remember, you’re not jelqing for size. Warm up and down by submerging your junk in hot water for ten minutes.

For sensitivity, if you watch porn, stop. If you masturbate everyday, try every other day and slowly increase the in between periods. If you’re cut, try retaining your glans with a silicone baby bottle nipple. I am restoring and would recommend it.

Even if these don’t help specifically, they will contribute to your health and provide a sense of general wellness.

Yeah I was going to say what Advocet said but he beat me to it.

Bruticus is right.

I have most likely exactly the same problem wot. Let me tell you that it’s definitely not always about stress or depression. It took me a long time to realize that every time I was jerking, I was always slightly kegeling to maintain a decent firmness (only about 85%, which really sucks…without even considering that you can only slightly kegel for so long). I’ve been doing that for as long as I can remember. If I completely relax my PC muscles, I quickly lose it.

I’m really wondering if those masturbation patterns are the main reason for my problem now. I’ve only done slight PE during a few months in my whole life, so I doubt it caused me any problems. I’m not depressed. I’m young. I have a fairly decent diet and I workout 1-2 times a week. In other words, I’m fucked.

No doctors are willing to give me someone my age (21) a couple blue pills for trial : as they say, 99% of the time it’s in your head. Problem is, it’s not only during sex…even by myself it doesn’t work properly. Oh well.

Most ED is physical, has it been determined that it is all in your head by a doctor?
There are other substances that can cause ED. Antihistamines are a good erection killer for example.

Quit masturbating for three weeks. Pay close attention to difference between the times you would normally have jerked off and when you’re really horny. Get a fleshlight, the standard pink lady will do just fine unless you are small— and stop using your hand altogether. Only jerk off when you’re turned on. I’m not saying this will fix your erections but it should at least help break bad masturbation habits.

Also, regular cardio does wonders for blood flow.

Cardio is great for woodies.

John 7 grains: If your Doctor’s unwilling to sort you out with some Viagra, then take a more ‘underground’ approach to obtaining some, I have ordered some from the same source that I acquire certain ‘medications’ that Doctors cannot prescribe!

I’m confused about this whole thing now…

If ED is rarely in someones head, and is therefore to some degree physical, and if the older generation that experience ED are mentally fully functioning but lack the required blood flow to achieve decent erections, then Viagra is able to bypass physical problems regarding ED.

So what is Viagra going to prove to me? - I could have physical problems yet Viagra will still work its magic, so whats the point, other than to be able to temporarily overcome ED?

I mean I can understand using Viagra if it’s needed. But nothing will be discovered if I take Viagra and achieve a decent erection, will it? Or will it narrow down the possibilities as to what my problem could be? for example maybe someone with veinous leakage or nerve damage would not see any effects from Viagra, whereas people with poor blood flow would? So if Viagra works I can rule out Veinous leakage and nerve damage? (these are arbitrary problems i’m throwing in).

Also, does anyone think a course of Viagra could restore my ability to have naturally occurring erections?

As I said before, if I can find out whether its in my head or not, i’ll really be able to settle down a bit and come to terms with things.

Doc’s tomorrow anyway.

Cheers.

For me I was nervous and I had been masturbating with too much porn. I got some Viagra and it worked great, overriding whatever the problem was before. I slowly weened myself off of it and stopped looking at porn (with the occasional treat). Now my erections are better than ever.

There are a couple reasons why a course of V., or one of the others, might help you. If your problems are now all psychological, the V. will help you over that hump, gradually. If, however, you have a more severe organic problem, the drug might not work well, and so you learn something from that.

Venous leakage, btw, is often overcome by one or another of the ED drugs, if the leakage is not severe. Taking one of the ED drugs may keep you in the sexual ballpark while you explore, with a doctor, what the issue is. The best test we have for venous leakage is the Doppler Color Sonogram. Painless, not long to administer, and it can pretty well pinpoint where the leakage is occurring, if there is leakage. This test will also reveal arterial insufficiency, if that is happening. Worth mentioning this test to your doctor tomorrow if he/she doesn’t.

I know that I often blame nerve damage (because I have it my self from PE), but you always have to consider it a possibility for you erection problems, especially when it have been going on for years. Of course, depression is probably the reason here but the part where you say you have done some PE in the past, opens the possibility for nerve damage, it’s a classic permanent PE injury which comes from doing something wrong over some given time. I believe it’s very easy to inflict and it doesn’t need to get you numb, it kills your erections, morning wood and Spontaneous erections + It makes it hard to cum.