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After so long. Masturbate

After so long. Masturbate

So yea Ill start one of these trends if that’s okay but my situation is that I chose not to masturbate until after Easter and once that holiday passes, I’m going back to enjoying my alone time. I don’t want it to be some boring thing though so any advice on what I should do? For example, lying on my bed? In the shower? F****** my couch? Stimulation’s of any sort? I have no “toys” so I won’t do any of that. But A better way of asking this is, after not masturbating for so long, how would you make the most of your first session?

You could soak a beef liver in barely warm water so it comes to body temperature without cooking. Then roll it in a tube, wrap it in plastic, put it between the cushions on your sofa or under your mattress, and stroke away. It might count as bestiality in some countries, and is guaranteed to freak out your family if you get caught. So it’s not a perfect idea, I guess.


“I was like, Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized...I'm just slutty. Where's my parade? What about slut pride?”

― Margaret Cho

Try masturbating into a hot sexy pussy. It adds a different dimension to the act. :)

Originally Posted by 74zowee86
Try masturbating into a hot sexy pussy. It adds a different dimension to the act. :)

Hehe, agreed.

Originally Posted by 74zowee86
Try masturbating into a hot sexy pussy. It adds a different dimension to the act. :)

+1


10/2010: ~bpe 6.2x4.8, 1/2011: bpe 6.5x5, 2/2011: bpe 6.75x5.1, 3/2011: bpe 7x5.1, 4/2011: bpe 7.25x5.1, 6/2011: bpe 7.38x5.1

My status thread

Sit on your hand so it falls asleep, then masturbate. I like to call it the friendly neighbor. Or be a friendlier neighbor and go out peeping tom style. A ladder may be needed for those second story windows. Or possibly try tally wacking it in a park with strangers watching or at the zoo by the baboon exhibit. Or my personal favorite, don’t masturbate at all, Unless it is with your mind. If you can make yourself orgasm without touching at all you have won the game.

Well, first I’d take yourself and your hand out to a very nice dinner, maybe a little wine to ease the tension and get your hand in a peaceful maybe slutty mood (depending on which wine you get) Ya know, take away some inhibitions. Then when you’re about to leave tell your hand how good it looks and you’ve never seen anything so beautiful as the moonlight reflects off of it. Go home and place some strategically lit candles around the room and you and your hand have a night you’ll never forget.

Maybe if you wanna feel like the man, after it’s over smack your hand and say thanks bitch and leave it there like a pathetic little slut.

-*disclaimer*- Personally, I would never treat my hand like that and respect all hands, but I was just saying if you’re into that sorta thing.

Hahaha :D , the last two ones.

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