What is wrong with me? Can anyone relate to my story?
I’m 23, just got a girlfriend last week. It’s been 2 years since the last time I had sex up until now. We’ve known each other for less than a month.
For the last two months I’ve been completely porn free just because I figured it’d help me to find a girl and think in a more healthy manner about women, which it has (hence how I’ve got a girlfriend now, I suppose). I also stopped masturbating almost entirely. The only times I’ve released have been through her help, or by myself to get rid of blue balls I sometimes leave with with her. When I do it, I try to think only about her.
I get erections with her, but I go soft quickly once trying to penetrate. She’s been the absolute greatest about showing me it doesn’t bother her and that it’ll happen when it happens, but I’m pretty sure my problem is NOT performance anxiety. I just am having the hardest time trying to think perverted or get in that ‘zone’ mentally to maintain a rod. I had difficulties the last times I had sex, too, but not to this extent. I was always able to finish.
I think my problem is two things. One, I’m not really sure I’m into this girl anymore. She’s deeply into me and quite frankly, now that I’m not lonely anymore, I feel just ‘okay’ about things with her and not really passionate. I like holding her and what not, but I think things have just happened too fast and maybe making her my girl was a mistake.
The other problem, oddly enough, is that maybe not masturbating has hurt my ability to want to have sex? I think most guys think it would have the opposite effect, but I can tell you for sure that I hardly even think about sex anymore. I feel neutered.
Has anyone been in a similar boat or had an experience like this? I don’t know what to attribute my issue to…