What is wrong with me? Can anyone relate to my story?

I’m 23, just got a girlfriend last week. It’s been 2 years since the last time I had sex up until now. We’ve known each other for less than a month.

For the last two months I’ve been completely porn free just because I figured it’d help me to find a girl and think in a more healthy manner about women, which it has (hence how I’ve got a girlfriend now, I suppose). I also stopped masturbating almost entirely. The only times I’ve released have been through her help, or by myself to get rid of blue balls I sometimes leave with with her. When I do it, I try to think only about her.

I get erections with her, but I go soft quickly once trying to penetrate. She’s been the absolute greatest about showing me it doesn’t bother her and that it’ll happen when it happens, but I’m pretty sure my problem is NOT performance anxiety. I just am having the hardest time trying to think perverted or get in that ‘zone’ mentally to maintain a rod. I had difficulties the last times I had sex, too, but not to this extent. I was always able to finish.

I think my problem is two things. One, I’m not really sure I’m into this girl anymore. She’s deeply into me and quite frankly, now that I’m not lonely anymore, I feel just ‘okay’ about things with her and not really passionate. I like holding her and what not, but I think things have just happened too fast and maybe making her my girl was a mistake.

The other problem, oddly enough, is that maybe not masturbating has hurt my ability to want to have sex? I think most guys think it would have the opposite effect, but I can tell you for sure that I hardly even think about sex anymore. I feel neutered.

Has anyone been in a similar boat or had an experience like this? I don’t know what to attribute my issue to…

I think you just said it.
The best favor you can do for you and for her is to be honest with yourself.
I’ve been in this type of situation. I usually knew it before it got complicated, but I wasn’t strong enough to just walk away.
One girl even offered me an opportunity, but I was afraid of hurting her. It hurts them more if you let it go too far.

Yeah, the first time I tried to have sex with one I could not keep it up. Just too much anxiety.
Eventually the desire to have sex overcame my doubts and anxiety, and we started doing it like rabbits, so at the time it felt like we
Were a hot couple. But during our more sane moments I still knew I did not want to be with her.

It’s easy to convince yourself to be with a person just for the sake of having someone. I enjoyed the idea that someone was into me.
So the first couple times I went with it just because. The next time I could not refuse because the girl was so hot. But I always knew right from the start that it wasn’t what I wanted. I was just going for the free sex.

I’ve since refused several women just because I knew there was no interest on my part.

I would not worry about the masturbation issue. I doubt that is the problem.
I think your inability to perform is just the honest part of you winning over.
If you chose to ignore it and just went for the easy sex, you could do it. But I don’t think you would be happy later on.
Hard to say. Is a dishonest jerk happier because he is getting laid a lot, or is he unhappy for being a dishonest jerk?

I suppose if you could just be honest and say ” I’m seeing you just for the sex.” then it would not matter.

Have you thought about what your sexual orientation may be?

I’m straight and sure of it.

We’ve tried once more since I posted and I’m starting to think it’s got to do with my dick/body more than me. Maybe because I’m still new to fucking, but it’s hard for me to find a position that works for me. I feel like I have to flex my calves/ass to stay hard and my dick itself just feels very desensitized, even with a Crown condom that is supposed to feel like you’re wearing nothing (It actually sucks. My roommate and I both had it come off, wouldn’t recommend.)

I’m hoping she will get on birth control and then we can go raw and that should help a lot I hope. I’ve been out of PE for a month or two now so my dick could definitely be in better shape. In the meantime I’m taking supplements and drinking more water, doing kegels and what not to try to get better erections.

You can make up for the sensation that condoms take away by re-sensitizing your glans with foreskin restoration.