Pounding for hours and can't come

After reading the ‘How do Male Porn Stars Do It’ thread, I thought I might raise an issue that has been causing me, and some others on this site, some concern.

I am ‘suffering’ from long sex sessions and a real limitation on my ability to come. On the face of it, many (especially those who suffer from prem. ejaculation) might say this is not such a bad problem to have. Indeed it is the flip side to being premature. It is having long passionate sessions of sex (sometimes one or two hours) but then being unable to come.

From what I have read elsewhere, the problem seems to stem from two specific and unrelated problems. The first is TMS (Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome) which I don’t have (but many others do). My problem seems to stem from my going onto anti-depressants (Prozac) last year. My doctor actually told me he has wives of male patients on anti-depressants thanking him for their improved sex lives (“make sure you keep him on them!”) The upside is an obvious one. I have from time to time in the past been a bit premature in coming and sometimes it is great to play the stud and go for hours, and generally speaking my g/f loves it. But I seem to reach a point where I just don’t feel like I can come. I have to really work up to it and when I do manage to come it is often a fairly flat ‘bell curve’ orgasm; mild ripples rather than crashing waves.

I have done quite a bit of thread reading on this and it does seem there is something of a correlation between the anti-depressants and their tendency to reduce Dopamine levels. Quoting form the ‘Brain on Sex’ website…

‘Dopamine is the neurochemical that activates your reward center. The reward center is a small portion of the limbic system, but it drives nearly all of your behaviors. This center is activated when you engage in activities that further your survival, or the continuation of your genes. Whether it’s sex, eating, taking risks, achieving goals, or drinking water, all increase dopamine, and dopamine turns on your reward center. You can think of dopamine as the “I’ve got to have it” neurochemical, whatever “it” is. It’s the “craving” neurochemical’.

Apparently when you go on anti-depressants, the dopamine level falls and the net result is the ‘craving’ to come, to orgasm, is quietened and you end up banging away, feeling pretty good but not getting that wonderful growling pre-come build up.

Zaneblue covered this off in another thread (Do I have Inorgasmia) in suggesting high grade fish-oil as a combatant to getting Dopamine levels back. The problem I am having is finding the correct dosage of fish oil or more specifically, the ultra-refined fish oil capsules that carry the higher levels (500 mg each per cap) of DHA and EPA. All the fish oil here in Australia seems to be at a standard 180 and 240 mg.

I’ve started having those for now anyway and I will report back on any response changes over the next few weeks. And if anyone down here in OZ knows where you can get the ultra-refined fish oil you can maybe post to let me (and others) know.

Judging by his catching, you should find some on Glenn McGrath’s hands..:chuckle:

Oh okay off topic I know but c’mon, it’s the first time us Poms have had anything to smile about for ages…

Thankfully Mark Schwartzer didn’t have any on his gloves when Australia beat England 3-1 in the football a couple of years ago….

and yes we are off topic thank to drilla and I…..

and so now it’s back to our usual program.

Stop beating off with your hand and get a flesh light, makes sex soooo much better.

Thanks joja, but the beating off thing is not really the issue. Even when i am ‘whacking’ myself it takes forever and the orgasmic intensity is low. No, it is more about sex with my girlfriend and the fact that I just don’t get there 2 out of 3 times.

I take on board the potential of the flesh-light; they do seem to be a great little gizmo. So in what way specifically do you see it (the f-l) helping?

Ask your GP for Celexa or Cipralex, which have fewer sexual side effects. Also gingko biloba has been found to be alleviating sexual side effects of SSRIs, you might want to try that, too.

I was on Zoloft for just over a year in the 2003-2004 school year and had very similar problems to those you are experiencing. Recently I was on Cipralex for about 2 months before taking myself off of it. I had the same experience with Cipralex and was put on Wellbutrin to offset delayed orgasm. It worked nearly perfectly. I could last a long time still, but when I did begin to approach orgasm, I had to really focus on preventing it if I wanted to last longer. It was almost like learning how to edge all over again. It also caused a great deal more precum than I was used to.

Wellbutrin might only have worked in this case because I was on Cipralex which tends to have lesser sexual side effects.

Harsh , but fair . Ohhh Ahhhh lost us the game (dropping that sitter) & should be put out to pasture :nodding:

Metagenics ‘Meta EPA/DHA Liquid’ is the best I’ve found so far . Practitioner only range (not found on the shelf) , but my chemist orders it in for me no worries . 100ml bottle about $35 . Each 5ml contains EPA 1389mg & DHA 926mg . Lemon flavoured too :)

I tried SSRIs for years and they were a disaster. For a while I just thought I’d gotten desensitized to sex with real girls because Id watched too much porn or something. And then I figured it was also just part of not being 22 anymore — lower sex drive and T levels or something. So I would bone girls and lose erections, almost impossible to come,etc. After a couple really bad experiences it became apparent to me that it was the SSRIs. I hated it but docs kept telling me I had to take SSRIs.

Well eventually I had had enough and just quit taking them. Sure enough sex became great again. However, depression crept back. Now I take Welbutrin and it treats depression much better than any of the SSRIs did and no sexual side effects whatsoever.

I couldn’t imagine being on SSRIs any more. I feel like they stole several years of a period in my life where I had incredible access to so many hot, young, cool girls. They may still be effecting me psychologically today because it’s like I can’t help often being paranoid that my dick might not be as hard as Id like or something (particularly after drinking) when I have sex with girls. It’s like SSRIs introduced me to the horrors of limp dick that feels like it isn’t even a part of body, just numb. And the idea of going through that again for any other reason something that worry about now.

I’ve also found Viagra and Cialis cause inability to come. If it’s late and I’m tired and have been drinking but hot girl wanting to have sex for the first time, it’s essential that I perform (bc it seems like whenever turn down girl in such situation they end up hating you and you lose them forever), so I have V and C for emergencies. But if I take just a little too much (more than like 1/3 of pill of V) they make it impossible to come.

Impossible to come is a large problem because, for example, if a girl has been looking forward to giving you an incredible blow job all night or thinks she is really good in bed, but then when she actually goes to do one of these things and can’t even get you to come, they feel stupid. Once girls feel stupid and/or unattractive they freak out, rationalize, you end up losing them.

Thanks for your input guys. It seems either Wellbutrin or Celexa might be good alternatives to Prozac. I will also look into Ginko Bilboa (sounds like a beach resort) as well.

In the meantime I also PM’d Zaneblue to get her ideas and she reported back that solid doses of pharmaceutical grade fish oil together with multi-vitamins should get things back on track.

I have made an appointment to see my GP ‘Dr. Bill’ and see what he has to say.

Anyone with any other ideas? I will make sure I keep you all informed of my progress for any others in the same or similar boat to me.

Yep. Switch to a antidepressiva with less sexual sideeffects and get some Wellbutrin (Zyban for stopping smoking is the same if your doc wont prescribe Wellbutrin). Or just buy them at a online pharmacy. Dont get the "SR" or other time-release form of the pill and if you only get those crush and swallow the pill for instant release. 200mg 90 minutes before sex usually suffice to overcome low libido and often anorgasmia. No need to take it permanently when your libido is mostly ok.

Good information about all this can be found here:
http://www.crazymeds.org/

So if I am WANTING delayed orgasm, which one would be the best among Celexa or Cipralex? I’ve taken Wellbutrin before but I can’t remember if it was 2005 or 2004.

Are you still on Prozac?

If yes, well, therein lies the problem, obviously. I would examine other options. I had a doctor try to put me on them, and when I started having sexual side effects I said “Naaaaayy!” I mean, not being able to shoot a satisfying load in a reasonable time would really make me depressed!

If you accidentally slammed your head in a car door, Zaneblue would suggest high grade fish oil. :)

You need to re-evaluate your drug situation.

-Do you need an antidepressant at all?

-Is your dose too high?

-Have you tried natural remedies?

-Would wellbutrin or a different drug work better?

You are simply suffering from a common and very negative side effect of a drug you are taking. Focus on that, not on finding orgasm enhancers.

In Australia we have Cipramil (my doc says it is the same as Cipralex). It certainly slows down the need / ability to come. I was coming eventually (much harder on Prozac) but the really bad side-effect was a continuously dry mouth. No matter how much water you drink, five minutes later it’s a dry as a bone. Not nice.