Brainwashed

The recent success of penis pill companies just goes to show you how brainwashed we have become over penis size. Many of us will abandon reason in our hopes to be better endowed.

How much of this obsession is due to brainwashing by the entertainment, drug, merchandising industries? 25 years ago the topic of penis size was a taboo on TV and in movies. It is the most personal and potentially emasculating of issues. Today it is everywhere. We see it now in TV shows, movies, commercials… allusions to the guy with a big package. A local radio show here is dubbed “Big All Night”. An occasional lover of one of the characters in “Sex in the City” is called “Big”.

Even mainstream TV commonly shows a scene like this… A woman mistakenly opening a bathroom door on a man who’s towel accidentally drops to the floor, looks at his package, and leers, or bites her lip, or appears visibly intrigued or excited or usually all of the above. In reality, most women faced with a situation like that would be embarrassed and look away so quickly that they would not see much of anything. The racy reaction we so commonly see on TV and in movies is designed to fool us into thinking that women are obsessed with the male member. Is it my imagination or is the penis size issue popping up (no pun intended) all the time these days? My current girlfriend knows I struggle with the issue, and she is irritated and appalled by how often the issue is presented on TV when we’re watching together. It makes for some awkward moments. In hindsight, we’ve talked a bit too much about her former lovers (our mutual faults) and she knows I have anxiety over a former “Mr Big” of hers. Shows like “Sex in the City” on HBO are downright unwatchable for us. I worry that this inundation on the penis size topic will brainwash women into caring more about size. Insidious.

My experience is that women are about 1/100th as obsessed with penis size as we are. My last two girlfriends were befuddled that I even cared about the issue. Of course there are a few women for whom penis size is a big issue. Those women may be bigger vaginally or just be very turned on by a big unit. I’d wager that nearly all women are MORE turned on by a lean and muscular male physique coupled (witness many of the ripped but not “huge” male pics posted by female members of this forum) with a good mind and heart. When my girlfriend and I are in sync, making love actually has very little to do with my penis. It’s more along for the ride.

Even understanding the above, I am a classic example of a soul tortured by the issue, and I’m not “small”. I am trying like hell to stop being a victim of this obsession. It makes me a much less happy man. It is unreasonable but there is something basic, something animal about the obsession. No doubt there is an instinctive Neanderthal connection between a man’s physicality (including penis size) and whether he feels secure. “If I am bigger, better looking, stronger, healthier, wealthier, and better endowed, I will be able to attract and keep women.” Some of the above is simply a fact of the animal world. Better endowed isn’t really one of them, except in OUR minds. We keep telling ourselves, and we keep being told by the media, that it matters.

Marketers want us to feel inadequate, because inadequate people will buy a lot of shit trying to become less inadequate. In a sense men are becoming victims of the same vicious marketing cycle that women have been exposed to for decades (EG, related to weight, wrinkles, etc.).

Why is it so hard to just believe my girlfriend when she tells me that sex with me is incomparably better than it ever was with anyone else. Why does my crazed dome meander to thoughts of “Yeah, but imagine if I was bigger.” or “But what if Mr Big had loved you in some of the ways I do?” or “How could Mr Big’s bigger, thicker erection not have been more fulfilling and exciting to you?” Why is it so hard to accept her acceptance? Why do I sag at the thought of being smaller than he? Why do I wallow in these feelings of inadequacy? Simple. Because I’m BRAINWASHED.

Nice post.

And what the hell does this “no pun intended” mean? No-one wants to tell me :o

Krowax: I’ll bite, assuming its an honest question… A pun is a play on words where two different meanings of the same word or words come into play when it is used in a sentence. So “no pun intended” in my post referred to both the TOPIC of big penises “popping up” AND to the “popping up” of a big penis in the form of an erection. Not overly clever, but there you have it.

Thanks, AirAl.

That was very well written and describes me perfectly. I think of myself as an intelligent, logical guy, but I struggle with the size issue constantly. I don’t think I would like to know how much time I have wasted worrying or being depressed about it. I know it would be the majority of almost every day. Sad.

I agree, wholeheartedly, that the media has a huge influence on what we all think and do. I cannot think of one time in all the years of watching TV or movies that I ever encountered a reference to a penis without the insinuation, or direct statement for that matter, that it was huge… and that was always shown as a very positive thing and very desired by whichever female character. I think we are all educated that “bigger is better” and that makes the lives of the rest of us, that were not lucky enough to be naturally well-endowed, very difficult. We are always concerned that women are not satisfied with us and want something bigger.

I guess that it could possibly be difficult for women, too. If the man to whom they are married is not well-endowed, and they have never been intimate with a man with a very large penis, they will always wonder what all the hype is about. A very good example of this is my ex-girlfriend.

A little over a year ago, I went out of town and returned anxiously to see my girl. We had been dating about a year at this point. After our initial hellos, I could tell something was troubling her. Without going too much into it, she got around to confessing that she had slept with another guy while I was gone. She seemed to be genuinely sorry and remorseful as she cried on my shoulder. I asked her why she had slept with him and the first thing she said was that she had drank too much and her best friend told her he had a huge penis. Since we had been together for a long time, I didn’t write her off right away. I attempted to get past it, but in the end I had lost respect, love, and trust for her. We have not been together for 8 or 9 months and she still begs me to forgive her and to allow us to be together again… but I just don’t feel the same for her.

Anyway, as I sit here with 20lbs hanging from my penis, I hope that I can gain the inches to put my mind at ease. I know that gaining a couple of inches in my penis will not solve all of my problems, but from my perspective, it certainly seems like it will.

AirAl, I agree with you on the marketing of aspect of some products and some TV show’s. But I disagree with you on the issue of women and size. Let me make this very clear WOMEN TALK ABOUT SEX WITH OTHER WOMEN AND OFTEN TIMES OTHER MEN. Women talk about your performance how big you are how long you lasted and your technique. Women care about size and if you are to small she would tell you either straight forward or in a way that you would hopefully “get the hint”. And the way you’re stressing over this issue only shows one thing. You have a very caring woman. So stop all the stressing over other guys size, you are here at Thunders now so start growing a bigger dick.

later…

BelowAvg: That is a tough thing with your ex-girlfriend. It’s one of those worst nightmare type of experiences. Did she comment on her experience with the other guy, negatively or positively? (Sorry, my morbid curiosity)

I am positive that if that happened to me, I could not forgive her. That’s even with a seriously great relationship which I have now. That would be a betrayal I could not tolerate. It’s bad enough with an ex-lover way back in her past like the one I stress over.

One thought is that if she experienced bigger and still begs for YOU, then maybe it was just curiosity. Forgivable though? Probably not to me, and apparently not to you. In a sense your EX might have been a victim of the big penis hype I mentioned in my initial post. That curiosity had to form from somewhere. Perhaps she was lulled into thinking that there would be something magical or earth-shattering about the experience. It seems ridiculous on her part, but we suffer from similar delusions fantasizing about size don’t we?

jojo: I might just have unique experiences. Perhaps women do talk a lot about sex these days, especially younger ones, which could be a byproduct of our shock-oriented society. One of the problems with the PE solution is that it takes so much effort. I’ve got my own business, a girlfriend, two kids, and other interests. PEing everyday is damn near impossible.

Guys, I just split out the discussion on capitalism and created a new thread in Not Covered Elsewhere, so that this conversation and that one can pursue separate tracks if y’all so choose.

Edit: It’s actually been moved to Brain Food

Good idea, I was just thinking the same thing.

Needs to go in Brain Food. It will probably get a lot of attention.

Thanks for the redirect Thunder. No intention to go there.

Why not?? :)

Ha ha. Just a digression I did not expect. I probably should have expected it (after re-reading my post).

Yeah, sorry for hijacking that one fellas…

AirAl,

Of course, I grilled her about the whole experience. She said that it turned out that he wasn’t much bigger than me (I don’t know for sure if she was telling me what I wanted to hear and what is “much”…) and that it hurt. Of course, she said that I was perfect, the best she ever had… blah, blah, blah. All I can think is that this guy had only one chance, and if he had done the things that I know she likes, then I wouldn’t have held the top spot, but that is neither here nor there.

Anyway, it destoyed our relationship because she wanted to try a large one once. To this day, she still begs me to come back or just sleep with her. I haven’t had sex in a long time, and I really don’t care to for a while. I’ll just PE hard and hope for the best. Maybe I’ll be a size that I can be proud of someday. Until then, I figure it’s best to not put myself in a situation to get hurt again. I hope that I can enjoy sex again one day.

BelowAvg:

Thanks. Interesting. So “he wasn’t much bigger” yet “it hurt”. That doesn’t make much sense does it? I can see how the trust got destroyed. She put herself in the unwinable position of having to avoid the truth (to not hurt you), yet being punished for it (by losing the relationship due to the lack of trust). I ALMOST feel sorry for her.

Best of luck to you with PE and love in the future. The only advice I’ll give is the advice I’m trying to take myself: Don’t miss an opportunity to be with a really great girl or ruin the experience by being hung up about your penis. Easier said than done, but PE certainly can’t hurt the cause.

Peace, bro.