Get Erection by Watching Porn but Not With My Wife

Hello Everyone,

I am 42 years old now. Since I was around 30 years old, I have always had problems with getting an erection with girlfriends. When I watch porn I get an erection with no problems, it always happens when I am with a girl - I just get really stressed and it just never happens. So since then, I decided to take Viagra like 25mg and it helped me a lot. So around when I was 27 years old I had been taking Viagra in small dosages and it was helping me perfectly. The problem started 6 months ago - viagra stopped working, I even increased the dosage but it is the same. I ended up taking Cialis first with 10mg and now 20mg. It is not really working. In the meantime, I still get erection without any problems by watching porn. It is just really strange that I do not take any pills and get erection watching porn by myself but when I am with my wife now - take a pill and still no result. What would you recommend me to do? Thanks for all your replies.

It’s porn dependence. Quit porn for a month. In first week, you’ll be rewinding porn over your head but you have to resist. After weeks of being out of it, normal erection will come back and you’ll start craving for your wife. It’s not that your wife isn’t interesting. It’s just biology, your wife can never compete with porn. Porn offers new girls and if your into kink, more fantasy drives the erection while your wifes imperfection highlights boner shrinker. Think about it. Girls on porn is always horny, and shows no complaints. Your wife nags, moody, smells…should I say more? If you want to trade your relationship for solo, keep shagging your hand for moving images that offers no real sex. I actually can’t bet on 30 days. Some porn ED can take longer but I can bet it is the cause as I’ve been through it myself. Read porn is new drug.

You have to quitt porn. Learn to edge solo without porn.(in total dark) Try to get erections in strange places. Like public bathrooms is a great start.(In a private stall of course) 😆 Stop mastrabating is key.you will be building up your MOJO. And you can comeback here and thank me! 😁

An article about porn addiction:

Porn: Poison with the labels that beg you to lick them

I agree get off porn it will fry your neurons,

Have you tried reading this? the-multi-orgasmic-man book. There are lots of things there to get grounded again. I’m a porn guy so I know the others tell you to quit, ,my recommendation is to get stronger with yourself and you will naturally start leaning off porn.

You also need to spice things up, my wife wears those hot beach shorts at home all the time now, I told her that I want her to look hot at home for me. You have to have an open conversation that you want to spice things up. You will find if you both please each other with likes, you too will cum off better.

As a 31 year old guy who regularly watches porn, it never affected my libido at all, if not made more hormy.

38 here and same… but I watch 99% amateur porn with real people, not airbrushed, plasticized bimbos.

I use it as a tool all the time but some people can’t or don’t know how to compartmentalize what is real and fake. And this is a slippery slope.

I also wanted to note that I have the exact opposite, I have a hard time staying erect while watching porn but with my wife, I can go 30-40 min hard with no problem. My first recommendation is that you start a cum cocktail that works for you, this way you are looking forward to giving something you have been working on. You may have to look deeper in what porn gets you excited (role playing, color hair, etc) and share with your wife that you would like to explore these fantasies, never make it about what she is not doing, but more about "we should elevate ourselves to a new level."

For instance,
-My wife has small breasts, she bought cleavage enhancers, we have fun with small ones and large ones.
-She dresses up in wigs , we bought roll-around mirrors to get all angles in the bedroom
-She knows that she has to have 90% of her bras and underwear have to be sexy, I actually throw out the ones I don’t like.
-She knows she has to wear heels in the bedroom 1 out of 4 times we get down
-We do a weekly massage night and bought a massage table for it, we also do a weekly hot shower together
- I tell her the clothes I don’t think she looks hot in, she can wear them to go shopping when you are not with me, but when you are around me, you have to wear what I think looks hot on you
-She has to look hot at home, she can have the occasional big shirt day to just chill, but in general, she knows she has to wear yoga pants, a nice top, or small beach shorts at home, this is not her moms home or college dorm room, this is our house where she will get mounted at any time with a hard dick and she will like to live knowing that she is desired at all times
- She has to know that she is a queen, and strong queens don’t wear just anything or settle for average. This is her castle, she wants to be treated like a queen she has to look like a queen and she has to dominate like a queen.

On my side to feel like a stud:
Workout every other day or every day
PE
Multi Orgasms training
Give her amazing oral
Trim
Do housework - just 10-20% more to help her out is enough, not the stuff you do already but what is on her plate, you just have to show you are trying, you don’t have to do it all

You have a very supportive wife bemore!

My wife and I sometimes shop together for lingerie and toys so she knows what’s on my mind. There’s cute stuff as a woman she likes that’s different from my taste. So I get what bemore is speaking here. I like polka dots and plaid, open crotch, open breast. I also put on sexy underwear for her, makes me feel like magic mike.

Instead of being related to porn use, could be related to performance anxiety or unconscious self-consciousness? Perhaps an approach that might help is cognitive behavioral therapy or counseling specifically related to sexual performance.

This is a very important point.

When you’re on your own jacking off to porn, there is no pressure to perform. There is nobody else to pay attention to, nobody else you are trying to perform for. You can relax and just enjoy the sensations.

When you’re with a real partner, unless you are totally self-absorbed and a shitty lover, necessarily part of your attention is paid to them, their body language, their desires, etc.
you can impose a lot of pressure on yourself to perform. A partner can also place additional pressure on you whether it’s inadvertent, or on purpose.
Erections are fickle and if you have worries or anxieties, or if you’re overstimulated, your brain takes blood flow away from the penis and toward other vital organs because it literally thinks it might have to flee or fight…