Where it all started
Or How Thunders place is saving my sanity. I’ve been PEing for about 2 ½ months and I’ve learned a lot and I’m still learning a lot. As much as I’m learning about making my dick bigger, I’m getting to the core of why I’m doing it and why I feel the ways that I do. I have a feeling that telling this story will be cathartic for me, and maybe, hopefully, insightful for someone else. I don’t mean this to be a child of the 80’s ,blame someone else for my problems, poor poor me, rant, I just want to present the feelings that I have.
My first remembrance of having a sexual nature was when I was probably about 4 years old. I know I wasn’t in school yet because I was reading some by the time I started school and I know I wasn’t reading yet. I’ve always loved books and getting up early. Early one morning, I was looking at a book about the wonders of the ancient world and there was a drawing of bare butt Egyptian slaves building the pyramids. They were shown from a distance of 150 or 200 feet so there obviously wasn’t any detail, just their bare butts. I grew my first wood looking at that picture. I remember instinctively knowing that I’d probably get scolded and feel ashamed for asking either of my parents about it so I didn’t. I just enjoyed the fascination and feeling of getting a woody. I remember that this happened several times. I have a hunch that a lot of men and women had similar experiences of having unanswered questions as children.
Fast forward a few years. My older brother was reaching puberty. He was developing in ways that I wasn’t. He took it upon himself to tease me about the size of my dick. I don’t ever remember that he seemed to be so much bigger than me, but he constantly emphasized the small size of my cock. ( Actually, he went out of his way to ridicule me about everything). I was 10 years old for crying out loud! Of course my penis was small! But I used to think my older brother could do no wrong (as do most kids) so I guess I assumed he knew what he was talking about. Couple this with parents who were apparently unable to talk with their kids about The s word,(sex…GASP, I’ve said it) and led me to believe that sexuality and sex was inherently dirty, my youth years were confused, at best. Again, I’ll bet a lot of people reading this had similar experiences.
Fast forward again. College. Freedom. My first successful sexual encounter. She was a dark, exotic beauty. An experienced upperclassman. The sex was incredible. At least it seemed to be to an inexperienced, repressed freshman. She was multi orgasmic and pretty uninhibited. We had an incredible time together. Through it all, I never really felt like I was the superman that she seemed to think I was. I started trying to reconcile my inherent feelings of inadequacy with this writhing, screaming moaning woman in my bed. How can someone who’s inadequate make an experienced, desirable woman act like this? Other women follow. Same feelings.
Fast forward to adulthood, marriage, kids, mortgage, etc. I married a terrific woman. Pretty, kind, sexy. Over the moon in love with me. Loves jumping in the sack Loves giving head.. Insists that I’m more than big enough for her. She’s multi orgasmic and it’s not unusual for her to climax 3 or 4 times during one love making session. She thinks I’m Superman. So why am I still feeling inadequate? In the many years we’ve been married I can count the number of times I haven’t been able to perform on one hand. Even if one of us doesn’t cum, the sex is still very satisfying. Do my feelings come from long ago when I was ignorant and ridiculed? Why don’t the ensuing years of successful sex cancel out the few years of confusion and doubt?
Fast forward to today. I’m learning to increase the size of my cock. Along with the size increase is coming (slowly) a new and unfamiliar feeling. I’m actually above average in some areas! When I do ULIs my glans girth is over 6.25”! I’ve gained almost 3/4” in BPEL in 2 ½ months!! I never thought that my dick would be anything but the smallest in the gym. Growing my cock is more than an improvement in length and girth and erection size and quality. It’s changing my thinking and my outlook. Thank you Thunders Place and all of the men and women who make it work.