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A must read PE poem for everyone!

( I Didn't write this) A must read PE poem for everyone!

I didn’t author it, but i think it’s funny as hell. It was posted over at the PE Forums…

“ode To My Penis”
A little something I’ve been working on. (Pun intended!)

“My little friend”

This is for you, My little Friend,
To help you understand…

I know you think I’m punishing you
With my own two hands.

For, it seems every time you’re sleeping
So calm and warm and mild.

I rip you from your slumber
And beat you like a red-headed step child!

Well, I know how you’ve always wanted to have
One of those sexy super models.

But all you get is stretched
And slapped and choked and yanked and throttled!

You say “It’s supposed to be a pleasure!”
“This is supposed to be fun!”

Then you try to hide from the Measure,
Yet, your day has just begun.

I shove you in a plastic pipe
And suck out all the air.

You’re screaming ‘This just isn’t right!”
As I’m shaving all your hair.

You suffer through the swinging
Of the hanging metal locks.

And just when you’ve recovered
From the heavy coined filled socks.

Just when you think it is over
But before you can relax.

I walk into another room
And bring on more strange acts!

I wrap a ring around your throat
And the twins that live below you.

I cut off all your circulation
And claim: ‘I’m just trying to grow you.’

Even at the toilet
You can’t take a leisurely break.

Even there I stretch you out
As if to choke a snake.

I’m sure you get depressed
‘Cause you think I’ll never be happy.

And I know when Mr.Fowfer visits
Your life seems pretty ‘crappy’.

But I also know you understand
How proud I am of you.

Through all the torturous rituals
You’ve noticeably grew.

Of course there are those times, when
We both had our doubts.

But they all seem to vanish
With our ladys’ moans and shouts.

I know you wait til I’m asleep
And then you strut you stuff.

You strike a pose and show your veins
And shout ‘I’m long and strong and tough!’

And almost every morning
You’re still standing ‘at attention’.

You’re always prepared for another day
Of ‘beating up’ and ‘lynching’.

Even tho a time or two
I’ve ‘pushed’ a bit too much.

You’ve regained all your spirit “plus”
For the quest of the super models’ touch.

I hope now it’s clear to you
Why you’re living in slight pain.

But, we’ve still got a ways to go,
A few more goals to gain.

So here’s to you, My Little Friend
Whatever they may name you.

Just keep up the good work
And I promise I won’t maim you!

When that ‘fine day’ finally comes
We’ll remember this little talk.

Yes, one ‘fine day’ that sexy super model will hold you proudly
And change your name from ‘Dick’ to ‘Cock’!…=&threadid=3589
EDIT: This thread was pruned from PE Forums, does anyone know who the author is or have a copy of the post?? ThunderSS

"Building a weapon of mass destruction" Started: 5.81" x 3.88" Now: 8.5" x 5.0" Goal: 9" x 6"

Last edited by goingdeeper : 06-27-2002 at .


must have had lots of time on your hands…, baby-oil

I am building a weapon of ass destruction!

lexx, I didn’t write it… it was over at the PE Forums. Just thought it was a funny poem.

"Building a weapon of mass destruction" Started: 5.81" x 3.88" Now: 8.5" x 5.0" Goal: 9" x 6"

Hey goingdeep,

Cool! That was good! HAAA!

Nice one =) Here are some lyrics for ya:

The Vandals - Christmastime for my Penis

I see you’ve been feeling down,
When I needed you, you’ve been around,
So this year I’ve a Christmas surprise
That will make your spirits… riiiise…

I think back on the times
When you’ve always been there for me,
And when things seemed unclear,
You did the thinking for me.

I owe you so much that it’s hard
To repay you for all the good times,
And I won’t forget you this year.

It’s Christmastime for my Penis

I know I have let you down
When you just needed a hand
When I was uncertain
You showed me that I am a man.

I owe you so much that it’s hard
To repay you for all the good times,
And I’m going to give you
The joy that you’ve earned this year pal.

It’s Christmastime for my Penis

(violin solo)

I owe you so much that it’s hard
To repay you for all the good times.

It’s Christmastime for my Penis

I know you’ve been feeling down
All bent up it’s so hard to breathe.
Don’t fret this Christmas,
You’ll get the attention you need.

I love you so much that it’s hard
To repay you for all the good times
We’ll get whores and pornography
Your special holliday pal.

It’s Christmastime for my Penis.

*gently wipes tear from cheek*

HA HA!! Those are BOTH awesome! Wonder who wrote the first one? He deserves some sort of poetry award!

For some reason I’m thinking it was Twatteaser…

It hit the board at peforum right after I started lurking there, I think.

Heh. I liked the”mr fowfer part the best lol!!!Great stuff.

Fabulous! I can’t believe I haven’t found this thread until now.

"Only enemies speak the truth; friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty". -Roland, in Stephen King's The Last Gunslinger

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