A New Me- A New Us

Hey guys

I’ve been off of this forum for a while, dealing with some personal stuff. I wanted to come back with a post about a new me moving forward with some updates – maybe just even if it’s updates for myself to get it out and type it out.

I’ve stopped talking with my FWB from the past. It was a bad situation; she was a very bad influence on my life, a negative influence and for the longest time I haven’t felt like myself because of it. I’ve taken the hard way and just endured this situation for too long and as of 2 weeks ago I cut ties. It hasn’t been easy but I’ve learned that I need to care for myself and not feel mentally fatigued and abused by this other person. I’m not perfect but I don’t deserve that.

In the past two weeks I have done a lot of research into meditation and Buddhism to help me learn how to get back my mental health, to forgive myself, to try and heal, to gather strength and courage and to learn to make better choices. And in just a short amount of time the YouTube videos that I’ve been watching have helped me immensely, especially during this nerve-racking time. Each day I am working on feeling better and letting go to the best of my abilities of past burdens that we’re not healthy for me. In just a short amount of time the YouTube videos that I’ve been watching have helped me immensely, especially during this nerve-racking time. I’m taking each day at a time and surrounding myself with people that are positive, encouraging, and that actually want the best for me. It’s been tough but I’m really committed to this as a lifestyle change.

In this two week period I stopped doing PE to focus on myself and my inner strength and mental clarity. Today will be my first day back as when I left off I was using an extender and jelqing and clamping. However this time I will not be doing the exercises with the mindset of growing to be better than some other guy, or for someone else due to ego purposes, because as I’ve learned with these meditation videos, if we keep comparing ourselves to other people we will never find inner peace and love for ourselves. I will instead use this PE journey to focus on growing for myself and really for just the challenge of reaching my full potential with a healthy and big penis. But I’ve learned that I do love my penis as it is now and I will not have a comparative mindset, I will instead do these exercises to see the growth in more of a metaphorical way of myself growing as a person to be the best me I can be.

I’ve also started to eat healthy – a lot of vegetables and I’ve only been drinking water – no junk food or soda. Coupled with meditation I already feel so much better. Tonight is my first day back at the gym as well.

So there are a lot of positive changes going on for me right now mentally and physically and spiritually. I’m trying to find my old self that I was happy with and that I loved and each day I’m moving forward with that mindset. Cutting out the negativity and toxicity in my life is scary but it is a needed and welcomed change. I want to better myself as a human being and if I can get back to my penis growth to reach my full potential then that is great too.

So I don’t know if my posts will inspire anyone else that might be going through hardships, or that might be dealing with toxicity in their life – but if there is anyone out there that is dealing with these things just know that you have the power to change them and you have the power to do what you know is right. You are not selfish by looking out for yourself and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We need to love ourselves from within and we can only find true happiness and inner peace if we are living the life that we feel good about – not living a life for someone else that is trying to bring us down.

So today I wish you all inner peace. Make it a point to do something that makes you smile today; do a good deed, help someone, do something you haven’t done in a while that brings you positive energy and a smile to your own face, and don’t forget to love who you are today.

Thanks for listening guys and it is really great to be back amongst people that look out for the best for one another.

Peace and love
G4G

This is a very inspirational post, thank you for posting. I’m glad you found a path and clarity in your life. One of the things that I think is most important that you mentioned is learning to love what you have. I have been researching this lately too and if we all compare ourselves to others or think negatively about ourselves or our size, all it does is create negative energy. And you are right, doing this for yourself and no one else because it’s something you want to do is a great lesson, I could take notes from that. Nice post

Thanks Stan!

Yeah in the past I was doing PE for the wrong reasons and for the wrong people. I was doing it on the premise of someone else seeing another dick one day and maybe it will be bigger than mine – so it was all built around my ego and not feeling good enough about myself. I am 7” bpel and 4.75” eg so I need to realize that I’m definitely not small even though I would like to see if I have the potential to grow to 8” and maybe 5.5” eg. But I was trying to grow based on the premise that I mentioned earlier which was someone seeing another guy who could possibly be bigger but I was trying to grow based on the premise that I mentioned earlier which was someone seeing another guy who could possibly be bigger. It’s a scenario that is not necessarily even the case as maybe another guy would be smaller. But the ego creates the negative scenario due to wanting to be bigger and better. That’s no way to live and no way to think and it puts these imaginative scenarios in your head based on negative thoughts which brings about negative energy.

And frankly I can’t care what other people think especially that other person that was negatively affecting my life. Whether another guy will be smaller or maybe even bigger and what that person‘s thoughts are about me comparatively shouldn’t matter to me at all because I am not that other person – I am uniquely Me. Maybe I would be even bigger and especially doing these exercises maybe I can grow to be bigger than that other person but ultimately it doesn’t matter because they have what they have and I have what I have and as long as I love myself and embrace myself, THAT will bring me inner peace which leads to inner appreciation for oneself and that leads to happiness inside. No one else can make me happy on the inside as much as I can so I can’t strive to impress someone else that just drains my energy and probably would try to just negatively affect my ego anyways.

Therefore I will love myself and what I have and be excited that I will enhance what I have through my hard work and focus! And again loving myself and working on myself to be a better person is not being selfish. This is what this other person was telling me and it’s not true. So many people are not taking the time to focus on themselves and their mental or physical wellbeing because society says when you think of yourself you are therefore selfish. That is just false.
We all need to learn to love ourselves and if we are not happy we need to look inside and see that we have power to make changes that will bring on happiness even if it’s one small step at a time. Taking that time to improve ourselves on the inside is not selfish – it is necessary! We can’t be positive and love other people if we don’t love ourselves on the inside so therefore it is OK to take the time to heal or remove toxicity from our lives so we can bring about positive energy inside of ourselves; it is then that we can spread the inner happiness to the people around us!

Surround yourself with people that will support you and bring about POSITIVE, uplifting energy! If you notice someone is draining your energy or bringing you down, it’s ok to push away from that! It doesn’t make you a bad person!

Remember:
“Your tribe creates your vibe!”

Peace and love
G4G

I read everything. Beautiful. It’s good to have you back, Gains4Gains!

Great post G4G I’m happy your on better path for yourself. Today also happens to be 4 years clean and sober for me so reading this at this moment was pretty friggin cool! I wish you the best on your journey and remember you have a lot good people hear at Thunder’s who are here lean on.

Congrats to you too KC, the drink can be one hell of a monkey to shake off your back. You should feel damn proud of yourself.

G4G, KC, and everyone reading this uplifting thread - happy journeys on this better path :)

Thank you LZ!

That’s awesome KC! I’m proud of you man! 4 years for anything is a long time and it shows great character and dedication on your part be celebrating 4 years of sobriety! I have ALOT of respect for you on that awesome accomplishment! Here’s to a sober life!

I appreciate the nice comments guys! And it was cool that my thread came on your big sobriety milestone too KC; makes me think that synchronicity was at work for a well timed post!

We all have our demons and for me, I’ve felt isolated by them. Mine is an addiction to sex which often leads to wrong choices or putting myself in situations that I shouldn’t be in. Hence the FWB situation. I’ve felt very badly about myself because of this for a long time and that person’s toxic ways didn’t help. The worse thing is to feel like you are not good enough as a person because of battling demons or vices. But what I’ve slowly been realizing is that, while it may be hard, we can find ourselves again by realizing that we are NOT our demons; they don’t define who we are unless we let them. We may feel like we’re the only ones going through things and battling things and that no one else is going through this and therefore we are bad. That’s simply false. Don’t believe it.

Everyone has struggles and just because we don’t see it doesn’t mean that we are the only ones. You ARE a good person! You know why? Because a good person feels that consciousness of guilt or embarrassment because they want to do the RIGHT thing! This means your soul and intuition is speaking to you from a good place and your guilt or shame comes from not a bad place, but rather a good place which is your internal desire to be better and to make good choices. So focus on that good voice, your good heart, even if it feels buried away under your vices. It’s there and when it calls to you, feel happiness for that because it’s a sign that there is GOOD in you! You aren’t these demons! You ARE good enough to deserve love and inner peace!

Learn to let go- I’ve been going through this since my journey began 2 weeks ago. It’s scary and you feel bad at first for cutting out toxic people or crutches because you feel like you’re abandoning them. That’s not the case. You don’t owe sacrificing your inner peace or happiness for someone else or something else that isn’t looking out for your inner peace as well. And learn to forgive yourself.

I look at it this way- how can we move forward if we keep beating ourselves up for our past? That leaves us stuck in the past. Picture each “mistake” that you feel sorry about being a rock that is tied to you. The more you keep beating yourself up, the more rocks you are tying to yourself because you are weighing yourself down. It makes you sluggish. How can we move forward to become better and healthier and happier if we keep focusing on these rocks and keep tying more onto our backs, dragging them along?

So do this: make it a point to forgive yourself and own it. Say “I’m sorry for (and name whatever it is and picture this event or mistake encapsulated in each rock”. Then say “I forgive myself as this is not who I am. It was a mistake but it’s not who I am, and it’s ok”. Picture giving yourself a hug and then reach around to your back and pretend you are cutting that rope that was tying that particular rock to you. Then picture taking a step forward. Feel that that step forward was easier to take because you just cut away a rock and therefore just cut away the weight of that rock. Keep doing this for everything you feel sorry for; say these words then cut the rock, take a step forward and picture all the rocks in the distance behind you. You’ll literally start to notice your posture straighten and you’ll feel a sense of power. It’s like psychologically as you leave each rock behind, your body literally starts to straighten out with better posture because it’s losing the sense of being held down with all the extra weight of these rocks. Once you’ve forgiven yourself for all these things picture yourself walking forward towards love and happiness and your goal towards a better self with no more extra weight. The rocks are behind you.

If you feel like you’re about to beat yourself up again, keep reminding yourself that the rocks are in the past and you’ve already said sorry and you’ve forgiven yourself. When someone say sorry to you, you don’t make them say sorry a thousand times before letting it go right? So don’t do this to yourself! Give yourself that same acceptance that you give other people!

You deserve to forgive yourself and find self love. It’s a truly powerful thing and is a major catalyst for learning how to move forward towards a better you.

I hope this thread can help anyone going through problems, or inspire people who need help or even remind people who have already been working on making positive changes (like KC) to keep going!

Maybe I’ll make this an ongoing thread..

So go out there today and do something that makes you smile and I wish everyone at Thunders a harmonious and beautiful day!
Peace and love
G4G

Some very nice posts! Believe it and it will come true.

Good stuff G4G!

We can only move forward, why not choose a positive perspective. Our history can provide us opportunities for reflection to make better decisions moving forward, but we should never stay long in the past as it has no real value to happiness today and tomorrow.

Thank you for the post and peace and love right back at you!

Thank you G4G, and a fantastic post it’s all very, very true! Keep up the hard work yourself because believe me I know how hard it is.

A little thing about addiction, at least for me is it’s all inclusive. I drink from a fire hose, I eat from a buffet table, so sex is no different for me. Heck I was addicted to PE and it started taking over my life. A friend in recovery invited me to a SLA meeting because I admitted that sex is also one of my many addictions but I never went. It was out of shame not so much guilt but certainly shame which I’ve learned by working the 12 step of recovery is part of healing. However I let shame hold me down and as someone actively working those steps I should have gone to the meeting. So I too can understand your struggle and I can understand most peoples addiction struggles, drugs,alcohol, food, gambling, sex I get it.

I love the stone analogy, it’s also true for resentments. You’ll come to see as you keep with recovery from any addiction you may start to resent certain individuals or certain situations about your past. And as you said they weigh you down and begin to suffocate you. Thank you for bringing this up I needed to hear it, sometimes we get healthy and forget where we came from and begin to revert a bit.

This is all very inspiring for someone like me who’s been around the block too many times. Thank for this thread G4G, please keep up the good work.

I am so glad you posted something like this because lately I have noticed something about myself 6 months ago that I’m not happy about. This p.e. Thing and sex basically were controling my life. I think about it constantly, and sometimes when I don’t get sex from my wife, it literally ruins my day and I start to feel anxiety like I’m not good enough or something. When i realized it I tried starting to work on it. Letting go is a very hard thing to do but it’s necessary. I know this sounds weird but I want to let go and be happy with what I have but also still do p.e. In a healthy way . I view it like this, i know we were created a certain way and we are all unique. But why shouldn’t I learn from resources I have to try and make myself better. It’s the same thing as weightlifting. We all try to improve our bodies that way so why not everything? For me it just has to be viewed differently, not from desperation but from a challenge to make myself better while I still enjoy the good things I have

Welcome to the community G4G.

Good words so far, just one thing. As you talked about battling your inner demons, don’t forget that also the person that you pushed away because of her/his toxicity is doing the exact same thing. You can easily see that you care a lot about this person just reading what you saying here on our platform.

The most important thing in life to remember about relationship problems with people is that nobody wants to hurt you intentionally, nobody, if otherwise you are 100% dealing with a psychopath (incapable of feeling emotions with human connections).

It’s their demons that are making them hurt you, and I’m not saying this to excuse them from their mistakes, but just to make sure that you don’t blame this person.

Push him/her away, but understand that they will probably feel extremely guilty and sad after this and try to possibly help them to understand that they need to work hard on themselves to preserve the future and not lose people that they love.

#1 In life avoid fights with people that you love at all costs, especially when they do wrong things to you, patience is the strongest of someone’s qualities.

Speaking from a bad experience of years ago.

Take care buddy, wish you to heal quickly in this journey.