Premature ejaculation

When you approach orgasm your testicles pull toward the body, so pulling them gently but firmly downward can help delay ejaculation. Similiarly, as I mentioned before, rapid breathing also occurs prior to ejaculation, so controlling your breathing helps delay ejaculation. The pattern is that certain things accompany ejaculation or lead up to it, and whatever these things are you need to have control over.

Thanks guys. This is serious advice. But I think you got me wrong. So, I have no problem with stopping at the right moment. I have a strong PC and / or I just stop etc.
So I’m inside, I’m hard as a rock with my head engorged and my penis highly strung. I feel so much pressure and in 5-10 seconds contractions may occur. I stop and my penis contracts but I’m not cumming. I rest for 10 seconds, my penis is still hard but my head becomes softer and much smaller. I continue to have sex and in the next 30 seconds I feel the urge to cum, again. So.I could last for hours, but with rest every 30 - 60 seconds.
I just want to have 15-20 minutes of continuous sex.

Another thing: Is it normal that your head engorges only at climax? Because my penis swells a lot, becomes very very hard, gets bigger, thicker, and my head engorges a lot, only 10 - 20 seconds before I cum.
For example, my penis is straight and measures 6.5 inches. When VERY excited, it has an upward curve ( which my girl likes very much ), gets thicker and goes to 7-7.3 inches, my head looks like a mushroom, and my erection becomes very hard. My girlfriend likes these changes down there, and she starts screaming, and scratching my back, and pulling me inside her, contracting, becomes a little unconscious and gets very wet. And this is the point of nowhere to my brain which says : ohh, you’re so good, you got her so excited,.. And I become very excited and I cum. That’s the whole mechanism.

It’s difficult… you have to walk the line between keeping her excited and yourself excited, and often times the crests over too far in the direction of your own pleasure. My advice is to take charge, tell her you need to control the thrusting, and try have a dry orgasm (if you can’t do that, this advice won’t help at all.) Once you’re done with that, start thrusting again and measure yourself - I’m always aware of how much time I have pleasure I have left - be it through intensity or time; if I know a position will be too much for me, I’ll take it slower, switch positions, or let my girl know I’m going to need a break.

Ultimately, you can’t do anything to change your physiology. Trust me when I say for every guy like you - who cares whether or not your girlfriend enjoys sex - there’s ten guys out there who could give a fuck less what she feels; if your girl doesn’t appreciate that, she’s not worth your time. Best of luck.

And I believe this is the worst thing you can suggest to guy who has premature ejaculation! One question - do you have premature ejaculation and Kegels helped you?

There is one thing in common for people who recommend doing Kegels - they have no premature ejaculation and they have ‘heard’ Kegels work. BS

Kegels can in fact make you come quicker. This is because the stronger BC muscle the more prostate is touched by it and this leads to faster orgasm.

If you don’t believe me try to feel what is going on with your BC muscle before ejaculation and during that process. The stronger muscle the quicker you ejaculate. Solution is to not use BC muscle as often and as strong.

raul, if you master “non-ejaculation” you won’t have to rest hardly at all man. It isn’t so much about a strong PC muscle as it is about not finishing your sex with an ejaculation. When you’ve had sex 15 times without ejaculating once, you will understand. Granted, sometimes it’s a squeeze of the PC muscle that does the trick, but other times it’s a total relaxation. The reason you’re having to slow down so much is because you’re getting to close to ejaculating to start. This also means (I guarantee) your breathing is getting fast and shallow. Don’t let that happen! Watch your breathing! And stop ejaculating for a few times, just so you can learn how to enjoy sex without finishing with an ejaculation. Then even if you choose to ejaculate later, it will come after much real control exercised over the experience.

I have my own thoughts on this. Years before I restored my foreskin I tried (like all guys do, I suppose) to study up and figure out how to be a good lover. I learned to last as long as any woman could want, and to sustain through several of her orgasms, but by the time I was 35, it was getting ridiculous. I had been married for 7 years and in all that time my wife had never managed to give me an orgasm orally despite concerted effort, and intercourse could take like an hour. I could have a few partial ejaculations (she loved the slipperyness) but then I would go sort of numb and if I wanted to really finish at all she would need to break out the dirty talk and the stars would need to align. I only failed to finish once that I can recall, but getting me there took its toll on my wife and she would need several days off from the roughness of it.

Since restoring, I’m getting such exquisite sensation that I’ve had to get back into the practice of deliberately postponing my orgasm or having a partial ejaculation so I could last as long as she lilkes. It turns out she likes to climax one or two times and get on with the day or nod off to sleep.

So what I recommend to guys who want to last longer is to give her at least one orgasm orally before penetration so the pressure is off. Once you’re having intercourse, don’t try to give her an orgasm with your penis. Give her an orgasm by rubbing her clitoral hood with your fingers. Another thing you can try if orgasm feels like it’s comming on quicker than you like - assuming you can stop short of a climax - is just interupting the intercourse for more licking.

I can also recommend those cheep vibrating rings that are sold by the condoms these days. That will give her a buzz where she needs it while possibly not over-stimulating you.

You mentioned that when you first got together longevity wasn’t a problem. If you were a long time between relationships before her, it could be that your mental map of what leads up to orgasm was based on the way sex is when you are alone. Intercourse wasn’t what you were conditioned to climax from so it took a while each time for the awesomeness of it to overtake you. So now that you have a lot experience with her having intercourse, your mind can faithfully project where it’s headed and what’s so freaking hot about her and you’re half-way finished before you start.

That sounds like an insurmountable problem, but I once heard a radio therapist say “there’s no such thing as a premature ejaculation - orgasm will come when it’s inevitable. It’s only premature if one partner stops pleasing the other before he or she has had enough.” So again I say get into practice giving her orgasms other ways. Lick her until she climaxes, then penetrate her and if you finish quickly and she wants more you can lick her some more while massaging her with a penetrative vibrator until she’s done or you’re ready to do her again with your penis. Don’t stop until she’s had enough and there’s no such thing as premature.

Good Luck,

What has changed between now and when you were together at first? This seems odd to me, just because the longer I am with a girl the more comfortable I feel with her; this leads to less anxiety and more longevity.

Sudden onset pmej seems likely to have a more specific cause. If I’m right, it would be much more effective to treat the cause than the symptom (via kegels, breathing techniques, distractions, etc). Find out what is different, and then work on fixing that; If normally this isn’t a problem, then you should try to get things back to normal.

Things will turn back around mate. Until then, you can always drink :)

So when you’re doing this, do you still fantasize or simple masturbate(to nothing?)?

Raoul, I have the same issue as you, was seeing this girl, my first true love and I became a 1 pump chump, didn’t help she wanted fast hard sex all the time. This led me into a downward spiral where I just wasn’t pleasing her enough and I’m still trying to get myself out of. We’ve broken up since and it led me into a bit of a depressed state as we all want to be great at pleasing the ladies and I just couldn’t to the most important woman in my life. She since told me that I was trying to hard to please her (thought that would of been an asset in a bloke)

However their was something bizarre in our relationship, if we ever had sex upon waking up I could just go on and on and on, furious fast hard sex, there were times when I just had to stop I was so out of breathe. But I’ve the same thing after rugby practice, came home went at it and just couldn’t blow. Anyone have any idea’s why I have these random events when I could go like a porn star, especially in the morning, but have premature ejaculation when ever we had sex in the evening?

Good advise all around.

In the short term? Lots and lots and lots of oral sex.

I get those episodes as well in similar situations. I think my mind is just “turned off” and that’s why it works so well. But if anyone knows, keep us posted!

Every silver lining has it’s cloud. My wife and I are in our early to mid 60s and she lost interest in sex about 5 or 6 years ago. That meant that sex for me was reduced to jacking off. That’s OK! We’re in it “for richer or poorer”. I’d prefer to do it with her, but will not force myself on her.

Anyway, not having to consider someone else anymore, I started experimenting. Without ever having heard of “edging”, I did it and can now go for one or two hours, most of it on cloud nine. That is great.

The downside, though, is that I can’t do it now in a hurry. I can’t cum in less than about 20 minutes unless I haven’t ejaculated for several days. And sometimes, you want to blow quickly – to fit in with other things – make use of an opportunity while nobody’s around, etc. When we first married, I suffered premature ejaculation, now it’s the other way.

Almost everyone will shoot the first time faster than the second. If anything have your gf mess around with you before hand. That is what I usually did when my wife and I started going out. Don’t let it bug you like this, or it will keep happening. Now, If we go about three days in a row of having sex, the third day I can last forever. Good luck

Raoul man I have like the same exact problem as you. My penis gets significantly larger during sex and especially when getting closer to orgasm and the head never really seems at it’s full potential until I’m getting close to ejaculation, can anyone explain this specific problem? I’m also in the same bout with you when it comes to premature ejaculation except this girl is new, she’s really tight though so maybe I just need to become more acquainted idk we’ll see : /

When I was young, 16 or so, and I had my first sexual encounter, it was the same story. She wanted it hard and fast, I needed slow with breaks every 45 seconds or so. After this I quested for knowledge using a great spiritual tool: the Internet. I found Barbara Keesling’s book: How to Make Love All Night and Drive a Woman Wild. Basically, it is the sum- total of what everyone has told you thus far. You need to kegel, and get in touch with your body and your kegel and your level of arousal. You need to breathe, deeply, and be confident. An open dialogue between you and your lady will only be the best for your relationship and your sex life. Be open, and hopefully she’ll be supportive.

Good luck, and check out the book