I think sprays and desensitizing condoms are not the way to go.
The creams, and numbing condoms deprive you of sensation, they don’t necessarily keep you from blowing your load any faster - although some certainly do have success with them - but you can blow your wad in the same three minutes wearing one of those puppies; you just don’t really feel much of why you blew it. At best they are a quick fix, and even then you lose sensation. It’s important to satisfy your woman, but sex should not become a spectator activity as she gets off on your numb unit while you watch. Also, after I tried them I had a numb flaccid - it was weird. Lidocaine on the penis is just a weird feeling. I mean it has a certain appeal as a novelty, but.. No, not for me anyway.
Kegels are good and reverse kegels are really good. But what is most important to get over this problem (9 times out of 10) is to really re-train your body and your whole approach with regard to your sexual response. Many of us, when we began masturbating as teenagers, did so as quickly as possible - so as not to get caught. Over time this leads to a quick response, which can be okay if you are by yourself, but if you are with a woman.. Well, they just need more time than 3 minutes.
I found a great book that takes care of this problem and then some.
I had a fairly normal sex life prior to finding this book, I could go for ten to twenty minutes and once in a blue moon last a half hour or forty five minutes. There were a few even rarer land-mark occasions where I stumbled on to a marathon session of an hour or so, but I never knew how I did it and couldn’t repeat it at will. That all changed.
In the year 2000 I found a book that I’ve been pushing on people ever since. It is called The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know. It is basically a manual for reshaping the typical paradigm of masculine sexuality. At first I couldn’t get the hang of it, but after a couple of months of trial and error - and really challenging myself to slow down and tune in the subtlties of all the elements of my sexual response - I got it. Man what a difference. You have no idea.
The woman I was living with at the time flipped then next time we had sex. I went for over an hour - came three times without blowing my load and gave her more orgasms in that one session than she had had in a month. It was awesome; total control. And I could do it again the next day. And the next.
It takes some time to re-learn your old habits and such, but.. It’s worth it. You have no idea. Seriously.
And, no, I don’t know Douglas Abrams or Mantak Chia. I’m just saying.. The shit works.
Thanks mr happy. I am gonna order this book