Accepting the percived reality that no woman likes me?

I have giving-up!
No matter what i’m giving up on I just can’t stomach resigning to the fact that I am a faliure at something.

But, it seems I have changed from a sexually-curious adolecent -to- a desperate youth -to- what I am now, an adult with a steadily waning interest in women.

Don’t get me wrong, i’m not gay, but I seem to be turning into an asexual I think.

Whatever it is now when I encounter women they are just humans to me just like men are.
I am NOT trying to get laid anymore!
It’s like I just don’t believe I have a chance at any woman anymore.

I AM a virgin and I am concerned that this apathetic view towards sex and relationships may be doing some damage to my mental health long-term.

I get off on pornos, so I am still attracted to women (may lessen the chances of the asexual thing I think).

Eitherway, my life seems to be consisting of work, brewing beer, drinking, smoking and pornos.

I also find that even though I do hard physical work I seem to like it as it takes me away from boredom and lack of a sexual partner (cause of my past problems with alcohol.

I also seem to notice that I am starting to find “happiness in misery” (in other words “I am happy being miserable”).
I never wanted this to happen, but I constantly have illustions and thoughts of a dramatic suicide/death, fantasizing death/war, all in a heroic and passionate maner.

It has also reflected in my thoughts while watching pornos.
I imagine that the guy is a “stud” and bangs heaps of hot chicks and that the hard working husbands are being cheated on— that’s what gets me off nowadays!!

It’s sadistic and vile as I also have dreams where I am in the minority that gets no sex and the women bang these “studs”.
I picture myself literally rotting to the bone while these studs keep banging chicks.

Mabye this is why my sublime hatered of women exists.
They say: “don’t hate the player, hate the game”
I must be saying: “Hate the opposition”

My mental state of health may be not the best, and netiher my physical one either (skin problems confirmed by a licenced medical practitioner: Soriosis, hives, dermatitis, 1 unknown type of a skin problem.)
Also, asthma, severe reactions to type 1 allergy (in the top 0.2% of the population).

All in all this may be the reason I hate god so much that I have dreams of machine-gunning him down(as well as other ways of killing him).

Cas

Cas

You have asthma and allergies and some skin problems.

These are some of the difficulties life has given you. I’m 100% sure that the drinking is not helping your attitude - its only making you angry and less attractive. The smoking is not doing any good for the asthma or allergies.

It seems to me that you have enough in terms of medical and emotional problems without making them worse by poisoning yourself with these things.

Please let someone help you help yourself.

Cas, man:
The problem is the porn. We get addicted to it very easily. It depicts women, and men in a way that we are not in the REAL world. It gives us false hope and an unreal image of how women really are and what they like and what they will do. It also gives us a false perception of what men are and what we can really do. It is probably why half of us are here trying for 11-inch dicks. N0 one in real life can or will perform like the actors you see in porn. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying porn is bad, I believe it has a very important role in today’s society. One just has to know it for what it really is, an illusion. The more you learn to make porn your lover, the harder it will be for you to learn to make women want to have sex with you. Also it is easy to perceive just by your brief writing that you THINK you hate women. I feel you really just misunderstand them. If I, (a man) can see this just from your post, how much easier is it for women to see in real time? Women are very good in picking up on men who hate women. How old are you anyway, if you don’t mind my asking. You sound young? I’m sure there is time to unlearn this behavior. Don’t give up. Women are wonderful, trust me. They are mysterious and lovely creatures. Half of the fun is trying to get into their heads and solve the mystery of what it will take to make them want us. It is worth any effort you have to invest to deal with this problem. It is even more important (I can’t believe I’m saying this) than making your dick bigger. What good is a big dick if no woman can get past the hatred for them they see in youreyes?

Good luck
BG

Yes:
I agree with luv. Not only is the smoking hurting you health, but making you unattractive to at least half of the women out there. Judging from your avatar, I take it the activity is important to you. Smokers don’t realize this, but to a non-smoking female (which most are these days) as soon as they realize you have the habit, you haven’t got a chance in hell.

BG

I think it is most important to overcome your psychological problems

Eitherway, my life seems to be consisting of work, brewing beer, drinking, smoking and pornos.

Dear Cas,

First off, this sentence right here explains a good bit of your problem. It seems that you are alienating yourself from the real world and sinking into a fantasy world which leads to dispair and apathy. Smoking, I asume you mean marijuana, exacerbates any mental illness you may be sufferring from. It has been shown to cause many mental disorders such as depression, paranoia, and amotivational syndrome. Alcohol is a depressant and will only make matters worse especially since you are already having suicidal ideation. It also seems that you have conditioned yourself to become aroused only by pornography thus disengaging yourself from real human interaction. This is now becoming a serious problem in our society. Remember that the things you do can become habits, or worse, they become the only means of gratification. In my opinion, you need to stop using pornography as your only means of sexual satisfaction. You also need to seek counseling for your drug and/or alcohol problem. I fear that if you continue your downward spiral you will eventually carry out one of your destructive fantasies. Please seek professional help.

Be good to yourself,
Beowulf

Obviously, if you’ll permit me in saying this, God is grooming you for something better and toughening you up for the task. I’m not a religious freak and I still don’t attend a church but please trust me on this. I’ve seen it all too often and I’ve been there myself.

Not, until I gave up the drinking, smoking, drugs, feeling sorry for myself and treating people like dirt, did things change. I don’t know what caused it. I just woke up one morning and threw out the pot, booze and cigs and decided all this was bullshit. My health improved, I could think again and PROJECTED a good attitude towards others. People see that and they want to be around you.

It took me over 30 years to figure that out and get to that point! Don’t be stupid like me and wait that long. You’re young so, quit feeling sorry for yourself (nobody else will) and start living no matter how it hurts! What you want will come to you, in time. Please, be patient and live the life you are destined to. Get healthy (mentally and physically), clean yourself up, get a bigger penis, a better attitude and the ladies will flock to you!

Feel free to PM and blast me and try to prove I’m wrong!

“I also seem to notice that I am starting to find ‘happiness in misery’ (in other words ‘I am happy being miserable’).

You’ve received a whole lot of good advice here from members, many times. You pay no attention to it. You just go on whining, drinking, porning, feeling sorry for yourself because your breath stinks from smoking and nobody wants to kiss you.

Instead of bitching and complaining about things, have a good talk with yourself - then set up a program for yourself.

One thing at a time. Quit smoking. Join a gym, etc. etc. etc. There is a wonderful woman out there for everybody but trust me, she doesn’t want to set up house with a whiner.

You need to take responsibility for YOU, and I do not mean that in any cruel way. I just mean it. All this rant gets tiresome.

Tell us what you’ve done for a change, not what you haven’t.

Thanks for the input guys.

I am one step ahead of most people that I know I have transformed myself to be happy whinging and complaning and hating.

But, besides all that I have changed my approach to women.
I no longer see a chick and persue her by trying to sound interested in her by becoming friends with her.

Instead, I simply don’t try to persue her and treat her as a human rather than a woman.
Don’t know if I explained all that before, but I have been doing this for a little bit of time now and I get to be friendly and liked by women (not sure sexually though), whereas before when I tried to persue them they would avoid me.

Now 99% of people like me (men and women) on a friendly basis.
(at the same time I started doing this it enabled me to use my social mask on everyone (friendly but not invasive and not letting them know the real me), therefore gaining of support from 99% of people.

It works better than trying to go after women by being nice (usally they read that I am desperate) or getting angry at people (mostly men) or being honest with them(mostly men).

I like being a phonie, In a way I am proud of myself that I have developed the ability to smile and act friendly(without getting too close) and understanding while all the time masking my pain inside 100%.

It’s alot better than I was living before.

Just a note incase it interests you, I have seen over 10 pshyciatrists in my lifetime an have had no sucusess (since around age 12).
I have tried ALL anti-depressants on the market.
All have failed to help me.
Some made my condition worse.

I turned to alcohol at age 18 to help, but I am drinking within W.H.O. recommended limits now.

I have never attempted suicide but was hopsitalized as a minor on two occasions for severe depression with suicidal tendancies.
About 1 out of every 3 dreams on average involves my glorified death.
I fantasize of dying in glory about every day.

The social mask does seem to help.
Especially when I work in hospitality.

I am seeking guidance again from a pshyciatrist.

Well I hope all works out best for you as possible.

Your not alone with anything you said.

I hope things work out for you in the long run. I read your post a few times. This line

” but I constantly have illustions and thoughts of a dramatic suicide/death, fantasizing death/war, all in a heroic and passionate maner. “

really put the hook in me. Your drifting off bigtime. There’s many levels to that fantasy. I use to zone out like that when I smoked herb. The booze leveled my head and makes me stupid enough to forget everything thats driving me crazy that day and finally fall asleep. I do not think your attitude sounds immature like the others, I have an uncle over 50 that sounds the same way. A virgin, women hater. I don’t think I’m at the hater point yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s in the mail.

I got a laugh about you wanting to machine-gun God, LOL, I had some thoughts like that.

Your prolly young, so don’t worry about rotting away while the studs get all the glory. You got lots of time. I know this sometimes causes some anxiety for me. Forget about the time scale and the missing the chance at the women of your dreams. That may make you put more effort into finding someone, or drive you past the point of no return. As for porn. I used to mod some porn boards on the net. Got 5 full HDDS, boxes of CD’s, FTP trading, uploading/ripping Shogun, all that.

If it’s giving up or eatting a bullet, fucking give up, get it out of your head for a while(if you can), the pr0n is gonna make it worse. Don’t think, use it for what it’s for, bust a nut, and turn the shit off.

If you got any friends, hang with them on your days off. Don’t sit home and dwell on this stuff. It has and will eat you up. I hope it all works out for you man, I really do. I hope talking about it makes you feel better. I know it works for me. I’m really bottled up and never had any pshyciatrist help or meds. I’m too damn stubborn.

I know I sound pretty hypocritical of me to say this stuff, but I like to chime in and tell the folks that sound like you/me/us, your not alone.

cascade

Your a young dude, things will turn around. I find I get more chicks when not looking so just work on the rest of your life and a girl will just happen.

Dino

I was about to write a long and boring post about how I got out of a situation similar to yours…

You sound like an intelligent guy: your intelligence is something that is not changeable (maybe just slightly); anything else, let me repeat it: ANYTHING else is.

Just get really, really busy. You will not have time to feel sorry for yourself and you will start seeing things from different points of view.

Probably quite useless, nonetheless this is my piece of advice.