I’m still alive, I’ve accepted what has happened and making the best I can with what has happened. There is more to life then one body part that isn’t there anymore.
I don’t mean to burden you with unsolicited advice, and I understand how this may come across as mumbo jumbo but Vipassana meditation may be a very helpful thing for you. The nature of the self and particularly the body as permanent ceaseless change, arising and passing away, and that we always have the means to do away with our aversion to our pain. Good luck to you, brother.