I tried it. I am humbled.
I dug out the black cloth that I’ve used before for wrapping, cut a large piece, and tied a loop and the little knot from the iron penis video, put five pounds of water in a plastic jug, connected it with a little bungee thing I found lying around, and within minutes I was swinging, balls’n’all (kind of a cool feeling once you get it right, and no doubt stimulating to the teskies, though whether useful for PE I can’t say I’m convinced).
I then tried attaching as a penis hanger. After a few minutes, I added more water to the jug - 8 pounds/3.6 kg. No problem at all. Curved like a mother, but not as bad as the latex noose hanger.
Here’s where I’m humbled: for all the monkeying around with high-tech materials, scavenger hunts in Home Depot, IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME that maybe you could do all that - and better - with a simple piece of cloth, something that’s obviously been known by others for hella long time.
I say better because with the (dangerous) latex tube noose (we’re going back over ten years here), the most weight I could handle was 6 pounds - and I got “my inch” after 140 hours of hang time with that rig. Now I find that with just a piece of cloth, I can hang even more weight!
Additionally, this passes my ‘inconspicuous test’ with flying colors - who’s going to look twice at a piece of cloth and plastic milk jug lying around between sessions? And a little toy carabiner would secure the two pieces - jug and cloth - together even better.
What I haven’t done - and may or may not have a chance to do anytime soon - is a full routine of one hour ‘hang time’ to see if the cloth remains comfortable or begins to chafe. But then there’s silk…