www.thundersplace.org

So, I have been thinking lately..

I am active at two fitness/body building forums, one self defence forum, this forum and I sometimes lurk at two other PE-forums.

Lately I have seen trends at all forums. Lots of people are very rude when they can hide behind their computers and they build e-egos and grow more and more confident and cocky every time they get a virtual “pat on the back” from one of their “Internet brothers or sisters”.

I can understand this behaviour since the Internet makes it possible for anyone to be the person they always wanted to be. If someone always dreamed about being the popular guy that everyone thought was cool, they can now become that person by imitating the behaviour of him/her in what they write and how they write.

I personally do not have a problem with this, as long as these persons do not step over the line and verbally abuse others and pick on them. Sadly this seems to be very common and the worst thing about it is that it seems to attract more of these virtual-bullies to the scene and they gang up on certain individuals.

My point with this post is that this forum and its managers are extremely good at eliminating this type of behaviour and it has actually made me a better person in many ways.

I am constantly improving my English spelling and find it more and more natural to express my self in English (I am Norwegian by the way).

When I feel emotional about a subject or a post I always take a moment to think about my response before I post in an effort to make my opinion come across in a polite manner.

I feel it very natural to be me here, meaning; when ever I write something to someone I could be standing right in front of this person, looking him/her in the eyes, saying the exact same thing.

In the beginning I thought the mods and thunder was very strict about spelling and that they had a low threshold for certain types of members. Now I understand the necessity of this more and more, and it is all because of the things I see over at the other forums I am active at.

Threads go back and forth with nothing but people flexing their virtual muscles at each other trying to out wit each other, getting affirmation from their peers. What a waste of band width!

Guess this is my way of telling you, thunder, and all of the mods here at thunders place; Thanks for keeping this place clean and free from abuse!

Also, this is my honest opinions and is not meant as a “ass kissing”-post. If you do not believe me I encourage you to go to other forums, lurk for a while and read. I guarantee you that you will find lots of e-bullying going on. People trying to be something they are not.

babbis

Yes, I have experienced this a lot. Especially in internet gaming where little kids act like they are in their 20’s. Funny thing is, when I do find out about someone acting “hard” and I confront them in real life, they don’t act so tough anymore. Funny. Very funny. Usually turn out to be shy, non-talkative, little kids.

It is true that internet communication allows for someone frustrated with real life to make himself a new person on the web. It can get irritating, especially when people act the way they wouldn’t dare of acting in a real conversation, mainly because they don’t have the backbone to do it.

Thunder’s is cool and a very positive place, and that kind of bad shit gets dealt with properly very fast.

How do you confront them in real life okish6er ? I’m interested to know how you would find out who they are.

If he is gaming, chances are they meet up from time to time for LAN parties. Thats where I would confront the little bastards…

Me:”Who here plays under the gaming tag CrAzYeLf?”
Kid: “me.”
Me: “really, can you come out side for a minute so I can have a word with you.”
Kid: “AHHHHHHHHHH.”

Agreed, babbis. This forum is the best I’ve encountered at stamping out ridiculous behavior.

There was an interesting psychological study on this very subject conducted at a US university. Basically, 20 or so students were put at individual computers in a single room. There were dividers between the computers, so no one could see anyone else’s screen. Each person was given a random screenname, and no one knew the identity of anyone else (providing complete “real life” anonymity, just like in an Internet forum). Then the students were instructed to just chat on a random topic for 20 minutes. The researchers found that it took less than 5 minutes for a few people to start flaming/harassing other people in the forum. Pretty soon, a great number of people in the forum were flaming each other, very harshly. And these were classmates at a university, many of whom were friends or acquaintances in real life!

Of course, when I read about this study, I went, “Duh!” But it is pretty true.

Thanks to Thunder and the mods for keeping this behavior out of this forum!

Two days ago I was gaming. Some punk came in on a server where there was only me and someone else. Immediately he starts making fun of my “tag” - even though most would say it is a pretty cool one. (Really)

I didn’t say a freaking word to him, and he just starts acting like a real ass. I didn’t say a word back because it wasn’t worth arguing and making me look like a moron too. He continued it a while. I really am amazed.

Yesterday, gaming again - someone different claimed I was camping them, used profanity.. And man the kid didn’t really even understand the difference of slyly hiding where you can’t easily be seen waiting for prey to come save their buddy.. And what I was doing, which was just hanging out in the open, actually with my back to him, and my back to an entry point.

I really am astounded at the juvenile crap that goes on, completely unprovoked.

On behalf of the Mods, thank-you babbis for starting this thread and giving Thundersplace that praise and recognition. ;)
As you mentioned, much of the quality is due to good strong management but don’t sell yourself short here, some of that credit goes to the members like you who recognize the value of what we do. It’s members like you that fully understand and thereby help us weed out all the undesirables and lead by example as role model members. It’s a community and like any community, we all must do our best to maintain and protect it so we can keep the quality of it as high as possible.

Well said, super.:iws:

Thunder is a good leader, and leads well by example; and he certainly has always had good folks working with him - long before the likes of myself showed up.

Forum participation is an interesting phenomenon. People often get into a bind by writing something the way they would say it, resulting in a post which may not always read the way it’s intended. What’s tricky is figuring out what is good natured ribbing, harmless competitive jockeying, passionate frustration, or plain old mean spirited-ness. There’s a lot to consider. Something intended playfully may push someones buttons if the subject is one they feel passionate about. We also have to take into account that not everyone has the same level of writing skill (for many here English is a second or even third language), sense of humor, or social skill, etc.. Further, not everyone is stone cold sober when they post.

And some people are just plain retarded.

Wait… did I just post that? That’s okay, I might be one of them. Never mind.

Anyway… It becomes easy to spot the people who are being intentionally disruptive.

I tend to think most people want to participate and be civilized about it. It may be that because of the personal nature of the forum’s focus, when people share their personal concerns and difficulties many of us can relate and genuinely want to see people overcome their obstacles and succeed. After all, that gives us hope (and a warm fuzzy feeling) as well. My guess is the sensitive nature of the subject naturally makes people more respectful. And, for those that have difficulty maintaining that, Thunder gives more than enough leeway to shape up, but there are definite cut-off points.

Thunder allows for people to be themselves while at the same time setting the bar for acceptable behavior; it’s about mutual respect and clear boundaries. As long as that is upheld a little chest beating now and then is tolerated. There’s a lot of freedom here.

But no chat-speak. A fairly small price to pay, and one that anyone can afford.

Beyond the “Hooray for Thunder’s Place” theme, which I can subscribe to wholeheartedly, the emerging discussion of people’s behaviour under the guise of anonymity is an interesting one.

JetAkins I’d love to see that study.

My own take is the less genuine someone is, the more sneaky, rude, or what-have-you someone is - hiding behind the safety of the Internet, the younger they tend to be; or at the very least the less self-confident they are. There is a correlation to age, not a strict one, but a correlation. Older folks tend to know who they are and are less likely to engage in that kind of game playing. Generally they feel less of a need to prove themselves or demonstrate their superiority (or at least demonstrate it in more socially acceptable ways).

Of course there are certainly young folks who are grounded within themselves and older folks who are all squirrely and weird, but there is a general pattern. Most anti-social behaviour has its roots in fear. The primary fear is that of the unknown; experience is a natural remedy for that.

The other thing is anonymity gives people room to express hostility they may otherwise be afraid to express. We, all of us (ok, most of us) have hostility that we don’t know what to do with. So JetAkins study could be demonstrating that people have a need to tear things down, just to get it out.

What do you think?

Mr. Happy you get an A+ for post presentation, especially use of bold text and paragraphs (take heed ye ramblers).

Yes, Mr. Happy, that sounds right to me. I suppose I should get a C- for not reading the actual study that I mentioned, but I did read about it in the New York Times, sometime around 6 months ago, I believe. I’ll try to find the article and the study and post a link.

Well you know, LAN tournaments, PC rooms etc. I just look around and if I spot a name they use online, I confront them. Little bastards aren’t so talkative once your in their face :)

Mr Happy should get a an A plus considering he uses a hand held phone device and not even a real computer. He has the fastest thumbs in the east:) .

I like it here, I can say with discretion things here that I could not say in public. If e-bullying existed here I would not be so open about my own sexual issues.

I like encouraging people and sometimes joke around.