When the topic comes up...

Hi all,

I’m wanting to write about a recurrent situation I find myself in. Its happened on more than one or two occasions where I’m in a social situation and the topic of penis size comes up. And for one reason or another, jokingly or otherwise, the size of my penis is up for question. Every time this happens its like time slows down. I can hear the words coming out of their mouths before they speak it. I’ve learned to dread it. And I draw a blank. I have no witty comeback because I’m in shock. I sit there muted thinking how can I make them believe that I don’t have this insecurity. And all the while, the room goes silent.

I can probably think of a handful of times this has happened to me. And I get the feeling that whenever it happens, all my fears of inadequacy are written boldly all over my face. I mean, if anyone had any doubt about my size, my reaction would tell them everything they needed to know. Its really embarrassing.

Afterwords, more often than not, I am motivated to continue with my PE routine. So I guess that it serves a purpose. But I know that gains don’t come that quickly and I want to at least not have the same ‘dear in headlights’ reaction if it happens again. I am wondering if anyone has had a similar problem or if anyone has any suggestions. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

This is a no win situation.
If you have a small dick and tell the truth, everybody will laugh at you.
If you lie and say you have a big dick, nobody will believe you.
If your really do have a big dick and say you do, nobody will believe you.
If you remain silent, they will suspect you are small.

I think the only safe answer is to make a joke about being absurdly small so that everyone knows you are joking.
This lets them know that the topic does not bother you, and that you are confident enough to laugh at yourself if you don’t measure up.
I think some people bring this topic up just to have something to laugh about, it doesn’t matter if it is directly at you or some unknown guy with a small dick.
They will cut you loose for making them laugh, even though you have not answered the question.

Try doing a search for small dick jokes and see if you can find something that is ridiculously funny.

I’ve done exactly what tinytim has done and said I was small, I’ve also given false exact measurements every time.

So Jawbone, how big are you?

- “Well… you know how I’m so interested in science and microscopic things?… yup”
- “Seven and a half. Centimeters”
- “Roughly 3 and an 1/8th inches”
- “11 inches”
- “Only if you tell me how big your penis is”

Those are my favourites. Find your own, memorize it, be prepared.

Take it as it is mate. A joke.
Just respond with a joke.
Me and my friends have an inside joke going on that I have a small dick and another friend has an enormous dick. I actually join the joking process when it comes up. It’s true in my case and most of them know that but no one actually cares. I don’t go spreading the word and “bragging” about it, but I don’t care if my friends joke about it. They even joke about my premature ejaculation, it’s also an inside joke.
I might blush or something like that if it comes up in front of strangers, but I still joke about it. No point in doing something else. :)

P.S. Self-irony is one of my best qualities. :D

Here are a few example jokes I found on the web..

My dick is so small bacteria laugh at it.
My dick is so small I piss on my balls.
My dick is so small sperm is a tight squeeze.

To be honest.. It’s because of your attitude.
Some men have small dicks but no problem with it and are able to joke about it or it’s even no issue for them.
You are obviously concerned and self conscious about this topic.
So whenever it comes up people recognize consciously or unconsciously that you have are emotionally attached to it. As people are they sense weakness and jump on it.
The weakness is NOT your dick!! The weakness is how you think about your dick and topic.

Joking is a good thing. Even better is that you already know that you already have a much bigger dick in the future now and nobody can change that! Face your fears and have the courage to take responsibility for your body and life.
Wish that these situations come up more often and you like and feel how you react positively.
Fearing them makes them even bigger and turns them into embarrassment.

And now do 200 jelqs at least ;)

I always say 2 inches. honestly

I have been know to say: “I am hung like a flea.”

I also say 2 inches but I add of the ground .

My response with a quizzical look on my face would be, “Really?”. I guess it may be something that the younger generation does.

How big are you Ram?? I didnt see that mentioned.

Joking about it does show confidence, the ability to laugh at yourself in life in multiple situations is so crucial. Tinytim is right just search the web find whats right for you until one day someone asks you and you get so fed up with the question you pull out your post PE penis and smack um in the face with it so they finally stop asking you ! ;) Lol

I’m Asian, so people already have the answer in their heads and answer for me. That’s fine. Less pressure on me.

Best thing to say is ” nothing impressive unfortunately, but I don’t know what is worse, not packing heat or not being a good enough liar to pretend that I am”.

You are going to have to desensitize yourself to the conversation. People have caught on the fact it makes you uneasy. Until you can over come it, its going to happen often.

I have two different responses to that situation:

If I think the people doing it aren’t actually being friendly/joking I just tell them “None of your business, but you are being rude and and your intentions are unkind.” Look them straight in the eye and don’t flinch. Best fucking way to turn the tables ever, unless they are total sociopaths (but it’s nice to know who is a sociopath, so that is ok). :D

If they are joking and friendly I say “My penis is so big I have great orgasms every time.” or “Bigger than the average lesbian’s.” or “Larger than my tounge or fingers, but not nearly as flexible.” or “Are you speaking literally or figuratively?” or “Too large for most assholes, sorry about that.” (this also works for situation 1 ;) )