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Ten Reasons to Stop Jelquing now!

Ten Reasons to Stop Jelquing now!

1. Callouses on my hands are making masturbation painful.

2. It takes longer to shave the new hair on my dick than it does to trim my beard..and moustache.

3. I’ve developed tennis elbow from jelquing too hard.

4. I have to buy all new boxer underwear, ‘cause the old ones are too small now.

5. I have to buy new shirts too, because my biceps and forearms are getting way over-developed.

6. I can’t scroll through porn on the internet with one hand and jelq with only the other (causes
tennis elbow…see above).

7. I’m really getting tired of my dick falling into the water when I sit down on the toilet. It’s
cold…and deep, too.

8. If I’m in a hurry jumping into my car, I end up sitting on my dick and squashing it. Actually,
that’s a little bit fun sometimes.

9. If I turn over too fast in bed, the centrifical force of my large dick throws me out of bed onto
the floor.

10. My dog has started barking at the moving bulge in my pants. He thinks it’s a small animal.
And I don’t even know Richard Gere.

11. I can’t balance a plate of pizza on my lap anymore, cause it’s too hilly there.

Hmmm. Looks like 11 Reasons.

Groan_Man

Comedy!!! :D


<------- You likey?

If you don't take the time to do the PE exercises how do you expect to gain? The fairy godmother of PE?

Pretty funny

Re: Ten Reasons to Stop Jelquing now!

Quote
Originally posted by groan_man
9. If I turn over too fast in bed, the centrifical force of my large dick throws me out of bed onto
the floor.

AH-HAHAHAHAA! :chuckle:
.
.
.

…you get that too? ;)


"Be aware that there are several schools of thought here as well. Some seem to go with the hard and heavy approach. The sessions are brutal. You can hear them talking to their dick: You better grow mofo or I will punish you even harder tomorrow! Others seem to favor a more tender approach. Always listening to what their member is saying while massaging it gently and singing to it with a soft voice. If it is moody and not happy with new behavior, they always listen and are very understanding."

one more reason

Not enough room anymore for the big baking potato I stuff into the front of my speedo for my strolls on the beach.

Tried stuffing it into the back, where there’s a little more room, but instead of chicks winking and smiling I now had kids pointing and laughing. Not sure why.


8/1/02: 5.75" BPEL X 4.5" EG

6/1/03: 7.5" BPEL X 5.75" EG as measured midshaft with a snapped chalk line....

My trousers don’t have space for my third leg!
— solution: wearing kilt!
Still have trouble: because I’m not Scots unfortunately.

:D

yeah,but then it hangs out from under the kilt!

Re: Ten Reasons to Stop Jelquing now!

Quote
Originally posted by groan_man

9. If I turn over too fast in bed, the centrifical force of my large dick throws me out of bed onto
the floor.

This is the funniest thing I’ve read in days.
I needed that.
Thanks, GM.

Arthritis in your finger joints. I don’t know if it’s arthritis, or just joint pain, but I’ve had this pain for several years that started not too long after starting a jelqing program.

:funpost:


sunny A day without sunshine is like a day without laughter :sun:

Quote
Originally posted by mantis
yeah,but then it hangs out from under the kilt!

I can’t help laughing! LOL

good one!

You forgot the inflammation in the delts,
which is why I can’t jelq in a while. Which turns out to also be a pain in the a…..butt.


January 2009: BPEL: 8.6" EG: 5.7"

Goal for 2009: BPEL: 8.75" EG: 6"

Ultimate goal: BPEL: 9" EG: 6.5"

Just what I needed to go do a nice long session, thanks groan_man


'''O_o'''

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