I can no longer doubt!
I had to tell you guys this story! I just got back home from the “weigh-ins” for a big youth wrestling tournament that my son is in this weekend, when I ran into an unlikely person….
Months ago, I posted about a guy I went to school with who admitted to me – many years after we graduated – that he did PE. In fact, he’s the only guy I know in real life that has ever admitted this to me. We went out drinking after running into each other for the first time in years. Before the drunken night was over, he scribbled his “routine” on a stained napkin for me. It consisted of 7 days per week, jelqs and SO stretches, with both hands. And some kegels, if I remember correctly. He told me that he increased his wood from 5” to 7, then quit at his wife’s insistence. He told me that even after years without PE, he was still “about 7 inches.”
Anyway, I ran into this guy at the weigh-ins, with his son. Neither of us is in the same school district that we went to, nor does his son attend school with my son, but this is a multi-area meet – so he was there. We started bullshitting when I asked him where his wife was. He said, “Not my wife anymore.” I said, “Oh, sorry to hear that.” He said, “I’m not sorry to tell you.”
After a while, we were in the locker room area when he said to me, “You remember that shit I told you about the dick exercises?” (of course I do!). But I casually remarked, “Oh, yeah, that’s right.” He then said, “Well, I’m back at it!” We laughed and I asked him what he was trying to do. He said, “A 10-incher.”
Well, he began explaining that when he resumed, he quickly got over 8” but the gains slowed a little. Now he’s “near 9,” he said. I expressed skepticism, but then he walked over to the urinal and – obviously showing it off – proceeded to take a piss. He was clearly at least 7” flaccid, and thick – and it was very flaccid (wrinkled looking, and hanging straight down, he practically peeled the shaft away from his scrotum).
After he finished, I quietly said, “Damn.” I had noticed that several other guys in there were also looking with envy at his elephant’s trunk. He expressed complete confidence that he would hit the Big Ten – thereby doubling the erect length he started with.
I said, “So, tell me how you did this!” As he related his “comeback” routine, it was similar to the first routine – 7 days per week, jelqs (which he calls “milking”), and SO 2-handed pulls (although he did describe rotary cranks this time). However, the main difference is in the crazy volume he now does…
[I quote]: “Well, I milk it each morning for at least 45 minutes, until my cock is blood-red; then I take a break, and my hands are pretty cramped up. After about 10-15 minutes, I do at least another 30-40 minutes of stretching…” (here he described the rotary cranks)…. “and then I repeat the routine before bed – but sometimes I’ll milk it for an hour and stretch for 30 minutes to an hour, if I’m feeling good and not too tired.”
That’s 7 days per week.
I ran the numbers through a calculator and it seems that he’s doing 90-105 minutes of jelqing, and 60-100 minutes of stretching – 7 days a week (according to him). That’s more than 10 hours of jelqing & about 9 hours of stretching each week! My totals have never been anywhere near that crazy shit.
Is that what the hell it takes? :(
But I damn-sure remember him from the high school showers. He was an athletic kid with a little nub (a worse flaccid than mine!). Now his flaccid is almost my BPEL – that sucks! Knowing him, he’ll get his tenner – and probably keep going (before I even hit 8). <sniff, sniff>
He also mentioned that he takes a daily multi-vitamin & drinks a lot of cranberry juice (don’t know if that does shit). And he tries to run 3-4 days per week – but doesn’t have the time he used to with all that PE.
Clearly, this guy has added about 4” EL – and counting. And I cannot doubt it.
- w a d (holding a wad of Kleenex to his eyes)