My life has taken a turn for the worse. I’ve just realised that I can’t do PE. Therefore that means I am stuck with what I see as a small penis until I can at least afford pills or something along those lines.
Things get a hell of a lot worse though. At 18 I’m still a virgin. Something that really pissed me off as all my mates have got all the girls and sex and all the shit that comes with it. And even when I do finally get round to having a gf and losing my virginity, I’m not gonna feel good about it because I have in my mind a small penis. No matter how hard I try, I cannot feel good about it. My brain just doesn’t want to listen. I see pictures and stories of guys on here with their massive wangs and great successes, and then I just think to myself - I’m useless. I can’t even make things better.
So I’ve got two options. Give up now, and live with serious issues… or find something to do about it. But there is nothing I can see that would do anything to help. Its a case of I can’t do PE. My body just won’t let me. No matter how hard I try, its just not working. And I’m not talking about the gains coming. I’m talking about the actual process. I can’t actually do it. I can’t grip my penis without ending up on the glans and in serious pain. Its like somebody up there doesn’t want me to succeed at anything. My life is like that of Bruce in Bruce Almighty (great film, I have to add). Its not just PE that doesn’t work for me. Life as a whole just sucks. No money. No job. No GF (Never had one, probably never will) Seriously disturbing mood swings.
I’ve considered going to the doctor about it. But I don’t think I could face up to that. In terms of mood swings, I go from being arrogant one day, thinking I’m better than all of the rest, until it just annoys people, or until I wake up and smell the coffee. Other days I honestly just want to give up and curl up in some corner and die. I don’t think I’ve got anything wrong with me, but on the other hand, I don’t know what really is my problem. Is it peer pressure? Am I going through a phase? I really don’t know. All I know is that my life right now couldn’t be more depressing in my mind. Sure, people tell me I’m lucky. I’m not some starving Ethiopian, or war-torn Palestinian. But I’m still suffering in my mind.
I wish I could do something about it, but everything I’ve tried doesn’t work. The PE was a futile attempt at improving my mind. If I can see myself as large, it may trigger a chain reaction in my head, making me feel overall better about my life. Which in turn should improve my situation. But now the PE doesn’t work, I’m gonna have to reconsider my options.
Sorry to drone on, but its something I really need to get off my chest.
30/07/2005: 8.2" BP length (measuring from top) 7.7" NBP Length (measuring from top) 5.3" Mid-Shaft Girth 6" Base Girth Target size: 9" NBP length 7" Girth __________________ Things are getting better... Go thunders!