Rethinking how much size matters to women

That is a very interesting analogy. Thanks for posting it.

while 450 is a giant number to say the least, when broken down like this it’s a bit more tolerable. Granted his claims are with different women, this is a number acheived by some (though not all of us) married men. Still very envious. Assuming no diseases that is.

This is all in your head. Invisible is right.

Twisted logic indeed. If I was sporting a natural 10x7 I certainly hope I would think that way. But even I think that’s a bit much. Fun to look at and play with I’m sure, but to a woman likely a bit much. Chances are much stronger on having a partner that never experienced bigger than 10x7 vs what I’ve got. There are tons above mine, and that is where my distortion begins. I get what your saying though, but I think many other guys think the way I do, and women feel differently on the whole subject, which is why I was drawn to this thread. Still, getting to read the word “horsecock” was the best entertainment I had today. Hilarious.

Okay, but take for instance you. Based on reading your measurements you have more than me. We don’t know each other. How am I to know your real location and that you weren’t one of my wife’s past select few? That is how easy it is to be trumped. It is maybe more of an issue to me and guys like me than it is to ladies sure. But that doesn’t mean it’s not important and wouldn’t be noted mentally by the woman.

You need to find Invisible’s threads that show how rare very big dicks really are. You will be surprised. Then factor in the fact that, those very very rare people with absolute monsters, are most likely not attractive to most women.

Having a big dick has no bearing on whether they are attractive males when they have their clothes on. They may well be talentless slobs with zero charm with women.

But like I said check out Invisible’s threads; they’re great.

What on earth is BDD? I would say sure, maybe my logic is a bit askew and I get that. I will also admit to not accepting or believing the stats and averages. They are old and or too small of a sample. Why then are there so many bigger on here, porn (obviously), Internet sites like rate my whatever, and stories galore? It takes no time at all to find bigger. Thus I think she had just as likely, though with only a handful prior, came across bigger. And that is fine, but just tell me and be honest. Despite her being my wife, I just don’t beleive it. I KNOW there are bigger a plenty so why not. Just lime averages and stats, I just don’t get how and why this wouldn’t matter to women.
An analogy I just thought of is if you had some piece of shit looking crapper car, but it was fast as hell. Say 13sec qtr mile. Then there is a clean ass nice Porche that is loaded and nice as could be inside and out. It too does the 13sec time. Which one would most everyone pick? The better looking one. Regardless that both get from a-b at same rate, why not go for the Porche because then you also have the bragging rights of “I have a Porche” leading to the instant “let me see it, can I ride in it”. Do you see what I’m saying? Or did I go too far off there?

I will have to do that. You are absolutely right though, personality, charm, humor, dialog, all of that is way more important in the initial attraction and overall in life. Will get most people way further than a big dick. But again, having one and knowing what to do with it, will weigh very heavily on sealing the deal and keeping them around. It’s not as important, yet at the same time if bad sex/flea dick is enough to break off with someone, it must be a pretty big deal.

BDD is body dysmorphic disorder. Body dysmorphic disorder - Wikipedia

Your question illustrates what I’m talking about. You are trying to reinforce your (mistaken) belief that all these bigger dicks are prevalent when in fact they are not, so you undermine the validity of evidence brought to your attention that would discredit that belief. For example, saying all the studies are old or too small a sample, which isn’t true. And then you elevate to a totally unwarranted level of credibility, the oddball and anomalous evidence like internet porn, and second and third-hand anecdotal information.

Do you see how this behavior functions now? I mean, do you actually realize that this is what you are doing?

I think that overcoming this obstacle is the most critical part of being able to think more rationally about sizes and averages. Start with reading Invisible’s thread on average penis size, look at all the links, read the comments and questions made in the thread, and his answers. You aren’t the only one suffering from this problem.

And your car analogy to me makes sense: you’re saying that the concept that bigger is better must be a truth with women, because of the visual appeal? I mean, there’s probably some truth to it, but it doesn’t translate into some kind of automatic preference. Besides most women hook up with a guy not knowing what size dick he’s got. And most women only marry men they’ve already hooked up with so they are clearly accepting of whatever size the guy has.

Let me be frank: If you really have a reason to believe your wife is lying to you, if you’ve asked her if she had bigger, then it should be because of something other than your insistence upon that likelihood or probability being a virtual *certainty*, rather than the statistically slim chance that it really is. Do you see what I’m saying? You don’t have a good reason to suspect she is lying to you. In your post above you provided some rationalizations that are to you quite convincing of what you *want* to believe, but they aren’t actually "valid". Does that make any sense?

I think we all feel your pain. Many of us either are or have been, in your shoes. (Of course with the exception of being your size. Not many of us are that big.)

Very interesting. While not to that extreme, this is like me not getting how an 80lb anorexic woman doesnt realize how skinny and gross she looks. She sees herself as fat. Right?

Like I said, yes I "get that" and can see based on numbers what you mean. But its balogna in my mind.

Yep makes sense. I think I "want" her, and a couple of other past girls I still am friends with, to tell me about bigger and better ones. So I can validate my extreme visuals I have, as well as feed my fuel to get a bigger one. I think it could have and thus did happen, regardless of any proof or reason yes.

Yeah, when I saw a person post almost verbatim what I was thinking, this thread had me hooked. There are plenty like me on here Im sure. I would say I may need to seek help if it continues to get more interfering with regular life.
I kind of align the subject of this thread to the girls slumber party, naked pillow fight scenes in movies. Or the naked in bathroom showers and locker rooms. Doesnt happen so much that way in real life obviously, but visually is very fun.

Problem with that is YOU ARE this size. Again, they are a dime a dozen. my size seems more the norm to me.

Here are some posts that I believe are relevant to your situation:

Availability Bias
Tray Gazing And PE

Thanks Invisible, those are certainly very interesting and unfortunately quite fitting indeed. Also in researching BDD I certainly fit many of the symptoms. I have and currently do struggle with minor depression, ADD, anxiety and all that fun crap. You wouldn’t by meeting me and very few do know. Any ways thanks for the suggestions. But right now, and for quite some time, any and all could give me compliments or say “it’s enough” and I just don’t get it. Definately average at best. God forbid I had to enter back into the dating world. I would be a nervous insecure mess.

In regards to the thread topic, I certainly do believe and understand the fact that most women are nit overly concerned with size. With extremes if course not included. It is definately much more the guys that are concerned. Then there are the goods like me that evidently just don’t get it.

WDA, it’s a long road, and believe me when I say your story is a familiar one. I’ve been where you’re at. Things like cognitive behavioral therapy and when needed, SSRIs and Benzodiazepines, have helped me manage my anxieties better, to the point where I now live drug free and I was able to stop the therapy. I’m definitely not “cured” but have a vastly improved level of function and hope someday to no longer struggle with these issues. So there is always hope for improvement! You just can’t count on growing your dick and the BDD stuff going away, a lot of guys have reported that it does not. And if it’s not one thing it could be something else. That’s the nature of the disorder.

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or concerns.

If anything, a lot of sex therapists, researches believe the studies results are actually skewed towards larger guys. Think about it:

What’s the average penis size?
by Dr. Petra Boynton
http://www.mans ized.co.uk/answ … -penis-size/a15

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Before you reach for the tape measure, it’s worth knowing that most sex researchers and therapists don’t trust these figures [for Penis size average]

The reason? They’re based on measurements from laboratory studies where men knew they were participating in research to see how their knobs measured up.

This means guys who were worried about size were less likely to participate, whilst guys who thought they had big schlongs were more than happy to waggle them under researchers noses.

So most researchers, therapists and doctors suspect the 'average' penis size figures obtained in research (and widely quoted) are at least an inch larger than they should be.

This is because research on penis size is skewed in favour of men who are happy to be measured.

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