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My Wife Told A Urologist That My Pumping Is A Turn off!

Originally Posted by Titleist
Marriage can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be hard. You’ll go through seasons in any relationship.

^^ Yeah. I think at times everyone wants to strangle their spouse. Talk to anyone who has been married long enough and they will all say there were times when they wanted to pack up and quit.

The only difference is that some quit, some don’t. No marriage is always sunny, nor is any relationship, nor is your job, nor is the weather.

For about a year, now, I’ve wanted to pack and leave my wife for lack of intimacy. I’m still pissed thinking about it.

But I went in the bedroom just now to get my computer (I have to do some work), and she was still in bed (she works nights). Her hand was hanging out from the bed sheet and her ring was on her finger.

I love seeing that ring on her and knowing that woman is my wife. I hope we make it through this season, just have to remember it does get better.

- Saul


Bigger, Stronger, Thicker, Longer

2016-08-26: 6 1/8" x 5 ... 2016-02-28: 6 3/4" x 5... 2017-07-08: 6 7/8" x 5 1/8"

Update.. So I continue to treat her well as a wife and mother. I just haven’t been making a move for sex. I wanted to see how long it would take her to initiate it. So after a week and a half of me not trying anything, the other day she was in her walk-in closet wearing just her panties and I walk behind her and tapped her on the ass,. She has a nice round ass that I like..lol.

She goes what’s up you haven’t been horny lately? My response was “I am always horny”. That was my hint to her that she should just ask for or even just demand the dick sometimes. That didn’t work because we went three more days with no action. We cuddle at night and she just falls asleep.

So yesterday I took her on a lobster tour bus to Puerto Nuevo Mexico which included a wine tasting tour deeper into Mexico as well. We enjoyed the lobster, wine, and shopping. We met new friends and exchanged contacts with them. It was a great day and in the back of my head I thought “can she finally make a move. Why does she always expect me to make a move? Is it a sense of power for her?”.

So we get home and watch TV with the kids and she complains of a stomach ache and of course falls asleep around 10:30 pm. We cuddle on and off all night and around 5:30 this morning I am giving her a back rub when she just takes her panties off ” like let’s go”.

But once I finally squeeze in the head and get going she is grimacing, I can’t touch her clit, it is too sensitive. I vary my stroke to hit the g spot but she grimaces ” the angle is weird”. 15 minutes of this and she says “just finish I have stomach cramps” I also forgot to mention that she always wants to start with me from behind. Not doggystyle but laying on her side with me behind.

Our sex life sucks. She is going through something and needs to see a doctor to figure out if it is the pill. I have a consultation with a urologist in 2 weeks to discuss a vasectomy. .Maybe she will come off of the pill. I am trying everything because I think she is worth it, our marriage is good in every other aspect but sex was something we both enjoyed and looked forward to before.

I don’t condone cheating but I do know what makes these guys go outside of their marriages and some of these women just don’t think their actions would have anything to do with the husband stepping out.


Starting date 5/14/2015

Staring size: NBPEL 8.0 BPEL 8.75 Mseg 4.9 BEG 5.25

Currently 5/17/2016 NBPEL 8.3 MSEG 5.25 BEG 5.7

Grimacing, cramping, the vibe that sex is inconvenient and must be hurried…I would be highly upset.

I had one woman complain I lasted longer just to finish in her mouth not hands (true) and she was upset. Because she didn’t want me to orgasm in her mouth and her hands were tired. Hated it. Felt like a chore for her.


Now: 9" BPEL x 6" MSEG as of 12/16/2016 This is my story...and a few progress pics of me here.

Then: 6.25" x 4.37" in 8/2009 Are you new to PE? Here's some advice I wish someone had given me when I first started.

My big secret? My methods. There is no "Holy Grail" of Penis Enlargement. Only time and effort works. I'm *8* years in and counting. All you have to do is put the work in and keep the faith. Also Fitness helps too.

So she said that her stomach was to blame for her discomfort this morning.. She wants to try again tonight being her stomach feeling better after a good dump.. lol.. she also wants to get her hormone levels tested.


Starting date 5/14/2015

Staring size: NBPEL 8.0 BPEL 8.75 Mseg 4.9 BEG 5.25

Currently 5/17/2016 NBPEL 8.3 MSEG 5.25 BEG 5.7

Originally Posted by thoughtfulgold
Grimacing, cramping, the vibe that sex is inconvenient and must be hurried…I would be highly upset.

I had one woman complain I lasted longer just to finish in her mouth not hands (true) and she was upset. Because she didn’t want me to orgasm in her mouth and her hands were tired. Hated it. Felt like a chore for her.


It would be great to finish in a mouth every once in a while but I like cumming inside the pussy more so just once in a while..lol..
I sometimes go on these marathon fuck session that last over 45 minutes. She is rushing me at 15 minutes and it makes it harder to finish. If she was smart enough to interrupt with some head for a minute it could help me finish earlier..lol


Starting date 5/14/2015

Staring size: NBPEL 8.0 BPEL 8.75 Mseg 4.9 BEG 5.25

Currently 5/17/2016 NBPEL 8.3 MSEG 5.25 BEG 5.7

It truly does sound like a pill thing, however how old is she?

At this point if what you say is true you’ve put forth a great effort between this and your last post about the other issues you were having. So I would have to say it’s on her unless we are all missing something.

As far as stepping outside the marriage or any relationship, it’s not always sexual there’s way more to it sometimes then just a piece of ass.

Originally Posted by kingscounty
It truly does sound like a pill thing, however how old is she?

She just turned 38. We have 3 kids, our youngest is only 5 1/2.

She is going to get the O shot and some laser vaginal tightening procedure called ladylase in a few weeks. I think it could be a waste of money and she should get off the pill and see how it goes. Although the O shot combined with ladylase has great reviews for up to 24 months and then a retreatment is required.


Starting date 5/14/2015

Staring size: NBPEL 8.0 BPEL 8.75 Mseg 4.9 BEG 5.25

Currently 5/17/2016 NBPEL 8.3 MSEG 5.25 BEG 5.7

Originally Posted by SoLong
She just turned 38. We have 3 kids, our youngest is only 5 1/2.

She is going to get the O shot and some laser vaginal tightening procedure called ladylase in a few weeks. I think it could be a waste of money and she should get off the pill and see how it goes. Although the O shot combined with ladylase has great reviews for up to 24 months and then a retreatment is required.


I hate to be the bearer of bad news but….38 could be the start of menopause. Now that isn’t a death sentence for your sex life but in the beginning it can hurt it which would explain a lot. She needs to do the blood work like you said and get that figured out first. She could also try a different pill in the short term. My wife considered the IUD but worried about the spotting and me feeling it so she’s on a pill now that seems to agree with her. I was going to get snipped but we decided together to wait because I had a painkiller problem after neck surgery. I know I wouldn’t have needed pain meds but on the off chance something went wrong and I did we both felt it would be better to have more time between when I stopped abusing pain meds and the vasectomy.

As far as that O shot and the P shot it may be bullshit I have no way off knowing. I don’t know anyone who has done it but would love to hear feedback if anyone on thunders has any experience with either.

On the vasectomy note, I had one back in May, and it was no big deal. I have noticed a drop in my own sex drive, though. I’m not sure if it is mental or physical or coincidental, but I am not complaining. It has helped me to focus on other things besides sex, both in myself and in our relationship. Pestering her about it constantly became a nag and a turnoff for her.

Like chasing a cat. Little bastards just run faster and rake their claws. But if you sit still a while, they’ll jump in your lap.

- Saul


Bigger, Stronger, Thicker, Longer

2016-08-26: 6 1/8" x 5 ... 2016-02-28: 6 3/4" x 5... 2017-07-08: 6 7/8" x 5 1/8"

So we had sex again last night and she came in no time after a 20 minute back massage with oil. She didn’t even rush me to finish.

I still think our sex issues are related to the pill. I had to remind her that my EQ was the same as the last time when she didn’t get off and wanted me to finish. She still wants the O shot. If she gets it I will report back.


Starting date 5/14/2015

Staring size: NBPEL 8.0 BPEL 8.75 Mseg 4.9 BEG 5.25

Currently 5/17/2016 NBPEL 8.3 MSEG 5.25 BEG 5.7

My ex wife was kind of the same. After our son was born she went on the shot but I think other problems were responsible. Eventually she got the IUD and the problems persisted.

The main issue was that she cried during sex, it was a complete turn off. I’m far from big, maybe 4 inches erect but I’ve never measured so that might be my lack of confidence talking. I think it had to do with her having another child. We married young and had our daughter soon after. I was only 20 and she was 19.

Eventually I found out that she hated her life and blamed me for getting her pregnant and taking her “fun years” away from her. She was abusive in multiple ways and became a heavy drinker. Eventually my love for the children wasn’t enough to keep me with her and I filed for divorce after 10 years of being married.

I hope things get better for you, things can always be worse.

Originally Posted by SoLong
My wife had a consultation for liposuction, the O shot, and another vaginal tightening procedure called “lady Lay”. She is by no means considered loose and it takes some time for me to squeeze in my 5.25 mseg (the head is even less!). Sex just hasn’t felt the same for her in the past year or so in other words the sensitivity is lacking. She even thought I had Ed problems which is far from true. I am convinced that the birth control pills is to blame.
So the urologist tells her how it could be her testosterone level is low and she can test it for her. She then tells her they have a “P shot” that your husband may be interested in as well. This is some sort of testosterone shot. The Urologist goes on to say “but he would have to use a penis pump twice a day” So my wife tells the urologist that she isn’t sure about that, “he has pumped in the past and I think it’s a turn off”.

I asked was it a physical turn off or mental and she said both. It makes me regret telling her in the first place (I am not an avid pumper mind you, once or twice a week at most). She said she doesn’t mind but she just thinks it’s weird. I only pumped in front of her once and she loved the sex afterwards but ever since she said she doesn’t want to see it.

Opiate painkillers, prolly

And she wants you hard for her and not from some device, make her feel sexy

Sweeternuts why always the vague responses? What do you mean painkillers prolly? I am a recovering painkiller junkie so I’m trying to understand that vague response.

Originally Posted by saulgoode45
Hard for me to give advice on this, since I am in a situation much similar. No BJ since about the year 2010, and we’ve had sex two or three times this year. Last time was in May, I think. I forget. Before my circumcision, though, which was end of May.

And it’s always ~hurry-up-and-finish~ sex.

I tried all that shit with roses and notes, sex therapy, you name it. Nothing works. Women do what women do.

So I just stopped pestering her about it and have been gradually turning back on my groove. You know what I mean. When you get married, you flick some switch that turns off your attraction to every other woman on the planet. They all look like your sister or your mom. Like that.

I unflicked that switch. For a few months, now, I’ve been letting myself be attracted to the joggers and cart-pushers, to the waitresses and strippers — yes, strippers! I haven’t been to a titty bar since… hell… I don’t remember. Maybe 2010, about the same time my wife last gave me a blow job.

I’m letting my mind wander a bit more, because something happened to me I did not realize had happened. At some point, I lost my self-esteem. All that rejection destroyed my own self-image. I lost track of what it was like to be a FUCKING MAN.

I punched out my man-card, I suppose.

I figure that focusing on myself is the best course of action, logically speaking. First, it makes you more attractive. If I can attract other women, maybe I can attract my wife. And if I don’t attract my wife, but I attract other women, there’s my answer — chase other women, file for divorce.

Or if my wife comes back to life, swell. Or if my libido drops to her level, also swell.

Either way, I’ll feel better, because at least I’ll regain some much-missed confidence.

I don’t know the right answer, but I do know the ~WRONG~ answer. The wrong answer is that you can change your wife with your actions.

Nothing you can do, nothing you can say, no actions or words or notes or flowers or counselors are going to change you wife. My brother put a gun to his wife’s head, held her and the kids (one a toddler) at gunpoint during a police standoff, spent the night in a secure mental holding facility, and then his wife bailed him out and sucked his dick in the car all the way home. I’ve sat outside at the table while he fucked strippers in the back room. I’ve seen him flick numbers to the waitress and seen the texts and heard the calls. He and his wife are going on 15 years, and I’ve seen him yell and belittle her in ways I wouldn’t yell at a dog.

That dumb chick still chases him into bed, and says she doesn’t want a larger bed because she wants to cuddle him all night.

So women do what women do. No explaining it.

No explaining.

Your call, but I’m focusing more on myself these days, and less on trying to change anything about her. I’m nice to her, still do the things a husband should do, but the constant rejection takes its toll on a man. At some point, the cowboy rides away.

- Saul

You should really look into MarriedRedPill on reddit. Dont take it as gods gospel or anything but it has helped me gain a better position and better understand how arousal works in a long term relationship. One of the main points it makes is understanding frame, shit tests, and how your position effects her view of you. I know this is all tangential to the actual thread but I’ve seen this many many times and while it may seem insurmountable it might not be as impossible as you might think. Men and women view the world very differently and what you might think is being supportive might just be being subservient. You are heading in the right direction though, you have to be the driving force in both of yalls lives. Women are very social creatures, where men are more centered around logistics. By you becoming a better version of yourself and being a better leader you will become more desirable.

This is also not to discount the medication and hormonal problems you guys might be suffering through but to try and highlight that the situation might be a bit more controllable. I hope this give you hope.


Restarting Muh Gains, may brodin guide my cock.

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