I agree one can be loving and considerate. The flip side is that if my wife asks me to do something and I usually do it. I do not do it out of obediance , but rather out of Love. And if I choose not to do something - that means I choose not to. I am not obligated. Do you see the difference? I know some friends who HAVE to have an excuse not to do something before it is ok with their wife. Thats ridiculous to me. I happen to like to cook so oftentimes my wife asks me if I want to cook something. BUT , We both know its her job. It never becomes mine. However if she is sick - I will step in and cook without her asking because I love her. There is no obligation for me to do so. Or if I dont feel like it , she will. So who is in the position of power. Her or me? My point is for a man not to be a tyrant - but for him to be a man. And you can be in a loving relationship and still be a man. And I always ask her opinion on most things. But I make most of the decisions. I may be old fashioned but I believe the Man is the head of the household and the Woman is the heart. And that satisfaction in a marriage comes from the two of them fullfilling those roles each contributing to its success in their own way. It works.