Is It In Yet????

That would be my bet.

Great post, bubba. Thanks for sharing. :up:

Hard to know — there is still the grower vs shower thing. I don’t think a lot of people even understand that concept - So I guess there would have to be some major educational effort along the lines of a NBC “The More You Know” commercial.

Wow bubba, that is quite a story. I empathize man.

What I can’t figure out though is what is the psychological mechanism behind all this madness? Why do so many men, myself included, attach so much importance to one realistically insignificant organ? A small penis should not affect your quality of life, there are many worse things that can be bestowed upon you; ie, becoming paralyzed and not being able to have sex at all. But yet the majority of us on this forum are here for generally the same reasons. Some have above average endowments and yet still feel inferior.

Bubba’s example epitomizes this. Here was a man who was nearly driven to suicide. I understand exactly what he felt, I’ve been through it. I nearly destroyed a relationship with not just a beautiful girl, but a wonderful person because of it. I am dealing, but yet these self destructive thoughts are always there in the back of my head. I can’t get rid of them. I press on trying to become the biggest I can get in order to kill these thoughts once and for all.

But why? What is it that causes such feelings of inferiority based on penis size? Why is it so important to us? In the grand scheme of things, it should not matter. I am downright more jealous not of the guys sporting 9x7’s… but more so of the average guy who is totally and utterly not concerned about his penis and happy with himself as a whole, no matter who his girlfriend has been with in the past.

I’ll take a stab at it.

We all want our mothers to love us and be impressed with our developed masculinity. If our “masculinity” doesn’t live up to our own standards, we imagine ourselves being rejected by our mothers and any female mother substitutes (girlfriends and wives) who come along.

The consequence of this perceived rejection is separation anxiety. We’ve lost our mothers and can never get them back. Not even a substitute. This is especially painful for young men who are barely out of their mothers’ homes and may be having a tough time becoming fully separate individuals.

I’m having fun waiting for you guys to decide whether I’m serious or not.

You are seriously channelling Siggi Freud. ;)

Yes jealous and mad that she was talking about it at a party, like I said it was many years ago, younger (very ignorant), I was also mad that she lied, I had told her don’t lie, and it’ll be okay, just don’t talk about it in public, I found it embarrassing. I just didn’t like her trying to comfort me about it. I know it was nice, but it was something I wanted to drop, was like a constant lie, she kept bring it up(in bed), so when you are banging someone and you feel like they are lying too you, telling you something that you feel is not true, while having sex, is a turn off to me, so it has always bugged me in a way, just didn’t like the whole situation, and I was young, so it emotionally scarred me a little bit(or a lot when I think about it), you though Modesto are very confident, wish we all could be more like you.

I was not so confident as a younger guy, Newnew997.

Maybe the issue is that men tend to think of themselves in binary terms, as either winners or losers. Life is like a big ball game (where we’re trying to score with our balls). Winners have confidence. Losers sulk.

Scientists recently proved that the victory pump (what we do at the moment of victory) is actually genetically programmed and universal across cultures. The reaction of shame (hanging heads, averting eye contact) is also genetic, although Westerners are trained to conceal shame.

If we think of our penises as the objects of male competition, it’s easy to see why we would feel shameful when we fall short of our competition. We become losers in our own minds and adopt the genetically predetermined loser posture. In this state we are unable to enjoy women, whom we often view as spoils of victory. Putting the Freudian argument aside momentarily, could our misery over our penises be little more than primative winner/loser programming?

Here’s the article:

Victory Gesture May Be Genetically Programmed

Everyone knows what an Olympic champion looks like, and apparently, how to behave like one.

It turns out that the stereotypical image of a victor — head tilted back, chest puffed out and arms in the air — may be an innate human response to success.

A new study found that blind athletes who have never seen such a display make similar gestures of pride as sighted athletes when they win , and also slump their shoulders and narrow their chests in shame when they lose.

The findings imply that expressions of pride and shame may have evolved to be programmed into human behavior.

Researchers Jessica Tracy of the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Canada, and David Matsumoto of San Francisco State University analyzed photographs taken during judo competitions in the 2004 Olympic and Paralympic Games.

They found that physical reactions to winning and losing among sighted people, congenitally blind people (those who have been blind since birth), and people who went blind later in life were notably similar.

The scientists detail their results in the Aug. 11 issue of the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

In general, when blind and sighted competitors won, they would expand their bodies, and when they lost, they would pull themselves inward.

The only differences the scientists saw were in the expression of shame.

Sighted athletes from Western countries that value individualism, such as the United States, were less likely to show shame than congenitally blind Western athletes or sighted or blind athletes from cultures that value collectivism , such as Asian countries.

"My read was that the Westerners felt shame in those situations but they were inhibiting those responses, and I think that is supported by the blind findings," Tracy told LiveScience. "In American and other Western cultures, we're taught from a very early age not to show shame — it's stigmatized — whereas in the East it's appropriate to show shame in a major Olympic failure, for instance."

People who are blind from birth likely haven't learned to suppress their natural physical reaction to shame because they haven't seen how others from their culture react in those situations.

The researchers suggest that these universal expressions may have evolved as a form of social communication.

"With pride, the original function may have been actually, if I make myself larger that tells others, 'I'm someone to watch out for. Hey, I'm dominant, powerful, in control,'" Tracy said. "Over the course of evolution, humans would acquire the innate propensity to associate this display with success."

Expressing shame may also be a survival skill .

"There are many times where it's not that adaptive to show shame — essentially you're saying, 'I just screwed up,'" Tracy said. "But if you really feel yourself weaker than an adversary, and you could convey that, that you agree, 'You're more powerful than me, I submit to you, don’t hurt me, and we both save resources compared to if we had to fight.' My guess is that’s why it's still around."

Previous research has shown that these pride and shame gestures are widely recognized around the world in many different cultures. But this is the first study to probe whether the expressions are innate or learned — i.e. nature vs. nurture.

The discovery that congenitally blind people show the same behaviors implies that they may be part of human nature.

"Here are people who have never seen people express this," Tracy said. "The only possible explanation you could make is, well, maybe their parents physically move their bodies in this way to teach them.

"Given the specificity of the response — we're not just talking about a simple arm stretch, but chest expansion and shoulders pulling back and everything — to me that seems like a less parsimonious suggestion than it being innate."

The researchers now want to compare the gestures they found in humans to behaviors among other primates.

"Primatologists have found that chimps show an inflated display: When the alpha chimp is about to fight, he puffs his shoulders and walks in a cocky gate." Tracy said. "Submission displays have been documented that involve cowering, lowering of the body.

"That's pretty similar to hunching the shoulders and the shame display. But there's a difference between these anecdotal observations and an empirical study. No one's coded a bunch of chimps and seen what are the exact behaviors you see in these situations."

Link: http://www.foxn ews.com/story/0 … ,402484,00.html

Wow Bubba that’s some story, it’s amazing what our insecurities will do to us, I’m glad I found natural PE before I met a smooth talking so called doctor in a cheap stripped suit

Yeah it all makes sense, but it’s hard to just instantly change thoughts on things, time did help, but there are still scars, whether she was truthful or not, I mean I know the guy, I could just ask him, but the thing is, is like no matter what it was like his manhood was too much for her or painful to her, still a staggering thought but also, I never asked, it was just put out there, it’s like a dream where you are the only one naked in school, personal business is person, not social. In highschool, which rep would you perfer, big dick or good lover?

I think it goes back to the time you are a small boy and see your father’s or another man’s penis in a public bathroom. Because you are so small, the adult penis looks like it’s the size of your arm. How do you ever plan to measure up to that?

I actually remember that happening, I remember being shocked, lol.

Highschool, big dick, now? Good lover. I’d actually prefer great, but I take what I can get :)

Yeah lol.

Thanks for your kind replies and advice guys and gals. I have been reading the replies but never had the heart to reply (or was it shame? Maybe a bit of both). Sorry about that.

I have recently decided that maybe I really should stop keeping my thoughts and feelings inside me and share them with a psychologist. Besides, he might be able to guide me in what I should do next. While over-analyzing has always been a problem for me, I think it has brought me a solution: to conquer the feeling of worthlessness (and I really should feel worthless) I have to improve myself. I need to become better than average at something. Be it my physical appearance or my speech or fitness or skills - anything. I need to stop being a jack-of-all-trades who can do anything but is worse at it than everybody I meet. Like playing guitar - I can play, I guess, but whenever I meet somebody who really can play (or actually had the luck of having a music teacher in school or a private one) I immediately feel inferior. But if I had a great set of abs or could play a didgeridoo like a pro I wouldn’t. So this is my plan - keep following my routines, add more weight exercises, start running again, work on my speech, visit a psychologist and get a skill that I could excel in.

Still, when it comes to meeting girls.. I’ve been reading ads on dating websites just for fun (or self-torture :/ ). It seems that most if not all have very steep minimal requirements, and those are physical ones, the ones that are deemed impossible to change, like height, endowment, handsomeness, you name it. And while I understand that and it is reasonable to have some physical preferences, it worries me how few women are actually interested in feelings or conversations or common interests :/ Maybe I should just focus on the physical side of me, become hott-hott-hott, develop the attitude of a bad boi and bring home a new slab of meat to bang every night like some of my old friends do. Then again, as I recently figured it out, sex with no feelings is less stimulating for me than masturbation and I would prefer a platonic relationship to relationship-less sex. But any way, I stopped paying attention to girls. I still am physically attracted (oh how many times I wish I looked in the eyes and not elsewhere, I just look way too needy) but since I stopped having conversations with them, I no longer get attached or like any girls emotionally. Maybe I have completely objectified them and think that they are all the same? Well, not all. But all have some minimal requirements for partners and I just don’t fit them - none of them. And then some people say that it is all personality and physical appearance does not matter, well, I suck personality-wise too. Maybe one day I will feel good and will be able to share that feeling with somebody. We’ll see how it works out in the end. Right now maybe I should just try to enjoy what I have and work on myself.

I’m rambling again ><
Sorry about sharing my thoughts too much. Maybe I should blog about this, keep a private “journal” (journals are manly! Girls have diaries!) and show them to a psychologist someday or just discuss them.

Thanks again for all the kind replies - you have been really helpful in calming me down and I think I finally got through the “anger stage”, I think I am finally accepting everything and accepting that I must do something about it.