I may have to tell...

My run of PE privacy is over. I was going to school full-time for my Master’s (employer paid for it) and have had complete privacy for PE during the day since I started back in March ‘04. Now that I am back to a full-time job, I find it increasingly difficult to get 30 minutes twice a day to PE. On top of that, my wifes new job has her based out of our home. She does not know that I PE.

I have gained about .5 inch since March and really want to continue for a while to see if I can actually gain more. I am leery about my wife’s reaction at this early stage. If I had gained 1.5 inches at this telling point, well, that would definately be a different story. If I tell her now and then never gain any more size I do not want to be in the “I told you so” boat or worse, it become a big joke in the house: “remember that time you tried pulling on you dick to make it bigger?!” Or even worse, she looks forward to a larger dick and I cannot produce results. I’m not small now (~7 5/8 BP and 5 girth), but I would like another inch in both measurements, particulary girth. I think she would enjoy that for sure.

So, I don’t know if I should tell in order to gain privacy or continue searching for alternative avenues for PE. I have to admit I am leaning toward not telling, but I know that will hinder my PE efforts. Telling could cause complete embarassment.

I would tell her but thats just me. Explain to her that this something you want to do to improve a part of your body in much the same way as people go to the gym to improve other

parts of their bodies.

If there is absolutely no way out, then tell. But just tell you do those “special” exercises to improve the quality of your erections. Don’t mention the dick size at all. There is nothing funny about that. Throw kegels in the discussion. Women know them and do them too.

p.s. I assume that you don’t hang because this one is very tough to explain :)

After restlessly telling me I was big enough, that I didn’t need any PE and that she loved my dick, my wife both supports and helps me with my PE. She’s quite enthusiastic about it now, gets very horny just watching my dick (she stares at it all the time), although complaints more frequently about pain when having sex. However, gets miraculous relief after a few strokes and makes appointments to enjoy my gains again and again. She’s a winner, too.

I made the right decision by telling her.

Take care,

I’m on the fence about hanging. Some things I read seem very positive; the next is completely negative. I have not progressed to that point yet. I will be away from home for a few months at the beginning of 2005 and was thinking about starting a hanging routine at that point.

It’s hard at my age (36) to say that my erection quality is decreasing. I don’t want her thinking I have a problem (I don’t). Though, we talked about her getting her breasts done (they’re large now; she just wants to even them out and lift them up).

Sorry if you thought that my post was negative. I didn’t mean it this way. I was just talking from my own perspective. It would be truly embarrassing for me if some one, who I personally know, finds out about my PEing. I know some people are much more open about it but I haven’t reached that stage yet.

SS, it is my opinion that it is in your best interest not to tell her. The reasons you give for not telling her are dead on, and although they made me laugh, it will really suck if they become reality. If you do PE now you have little to lose—some free time—, but if you tell her and you don’t produce results as quickly as she hopes you’ll both be disappointed. Also, everytime you PE or talk about it she’ll be thinking of and hoping for a big cock, which as we familiar to PE know, is very difficult to acheive. I’m also afraid her expectations could lead you to try to rush towards results and try something stupid or overtrain. So handle your business in the shower, when she’s at the store, etc.—there are many people who have made good gains from PE done furtively.

Stop or tell her. I would stop and retire as your stats are more then enough for now imo

I say tell her. There is nothing better than a PE partner. Make it fun. incorporate your routines into sex play. It seems to me you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Just explain to her PE takes time, and gains, if any, come slowly You already have good size so it’s not like she will be disapointed if your goals come slowly or not at all. However if you decide to keep stealth it is not that hard to do.

If the relationship is healthy & stable, she should support you. I do think I’d use the “healthy erections” argument. Give her a vague story about “somebody” you heard about at work, “a guy” 10 years older, who is having problems and you don’t want to get to that stage. Preventative medicine, and all that. Tell her you’re doing it for her & the relationship, that she’s a wonderful, beautiful, perfect woman and you don’t want to lose her if you start having erectile difficulties at some point in the future. Tell her that the exercises may result in some size increases “in some men” and you hope she’s ok with that, and you’ll stop if the increases occur & result in painful intercourse.

Then immediately change the subject to the mammoplasty that she wants. ;)

After you’ve “come out”, you can start hanging. Tell her that by stretching out the inner pelvic structures, it increases the blood flow to areas that you can’t get to by jelqing.

Good luck! Let us know what you decide & how it goes.

RBM

Another option is to tell her but to set her expectations very low. Say that you’ve learned about these techniques, that you’re not sure they’ll work for you, but you’d like to give them a try. Say you might expect some small gains over a long period of time—nothing dramatic and she probably won’t even notice. But you think you’ll notice, and it will help you feel more comfortable and confident in non-sexual, social situations, where sometimes you currently feel guarded or uneasy.

Tell her the only thing you ask of her is that she help you maintain your privacy in doing the exercises. Tell her that, although you don’t feel ashamed that you want to do this, you’re hoping that she will not discuss it with others, as it is something that would embarrass you if others knew.

I’m sure she can identify with this. We all have things we prefer to keep private, and it is very common to trust one’s spouse in these matters.

Yet another idea is to do what I’ve done. Ask your wife if she would be willing to give you some private time in the bathroom for an hour or so most days, but don’t tell her what it’s for. Simply make it a matter of trust and respect. Then, when you’re in there, lock to door, just in case she “forgets.”

I’ve told my wife that I’m doing “black magic.” She knows this is obviously bogus, but it gives us something to call it, and it’s kind of funny.

No offense taken at all, Sparky.

If I tell, I was leaning towards Modesto’s solution. Simply saying I want to give this a try and need some private time to conduct my PE. I research and analyze things very thoroughly, so she’ll know somehtings fishy if I try to say “some guy at work…” I have to tell her the truth (if I tell), more or less, in order to gain some support and the privacy I want. Just asking for private time and not telling her what for will not last very long.

I have been doing what Dimitri alluded to: PEing when she is gone. The only problem is that we like to be at home with the kids and spend much of our free time together. Sometimes I can go an hour on the internet without interuption; other times I cannot get two seconds. Though, still not quite the justification to tell her about PE.

Decisions, decisions. I wonder if she is accepting of my PE efforts, if it would make sex more interesting. She is sorta plain vanilla most of the time. I’m like a double scoop of chocolate chip cookie dough swirl! LOL. Maybe she’ll start paying more attention to the “soldier” and more often. Opinions? Experience?

RubberBandMan, I see that you have made some great initial gains. What has been your routine?

Thanks, SS. I’m pretty thrilled about it, too.

I found the forums at betterman.com before I stumbled upon Thunder’s Place and started with JonPop’s beginner’s routine over there. (I only lurked there, and haven’t been there in over a month. There isn’t that much traffic at betterman.com, and the crowd here is great, so I see no ned to go back.) It’s a combination of stretching & jelqing, pretty basic stuff. I saw the initial gains and got too enthusiastic and over-did it late in my second week, having erectile slowness, etc, and that really scared me. I took 10 days off, restarting in the middle of week 4 and slowing the progression of my routine.

I started hanging my 7th week and complimented that with a golf weight ADS. I’m hanging 6 to 9 pounds x 3 or 4 sets of 15 minutes each now, and I wear the golf weights most of my waking hours.

For what it’s worth, Mrs RBM has been very supportive, even though she claims that “there is no need whatsoever and men are so silly.” She is encouraging me to slow the girth gains, though, until she can catch up. We’ve been together for over 26 years (married almost 25 years when we were pretty young). It’s a very matured relationship now so I know what I can get away with. We’re very open with each other and consider each other to be best friends as well as lovers, so it was easy for me to tell her of my interest & intent. I know every relationship isn’t like that, and that’s ok.

I can see where Modestoman’s “Black Magic” idea might be helpful. She’ll figure it out as you gain, and you can leave it as an unspoken thing. A little mystery is good, too.

RBM

Honestly, I would tell her assuming you have a trusting relationship.

Do what the others have said, express the benefits of what it can do. Explained to her that we has people exercise our bodies to keep it conditioned and that your dick is no different. Men and women do kegels and they are healthy, well so is PE.

Like others have said, though, set her expectations low. PE, when overdone, can injure your penis, so it would really suck if you explain all these great benefits, tell her how great sex will be, and then hurt yourself and you are out of commission for a month.

My wife freaked the fuck out when I overdid some jelqs a month ago and burst a few capillaries on my foreskin. It wasn’t from the jelqs necessarily as I was doing something I shouldn’t have been doing (doing the jelq and at the end, holding it which forced alot of blood into my foreskin), but she freaked and I said I was going to call it quits until I got some good support on here and they told me it would be ok.

6 days later, the spots we’re gone and I was smarter. But sex was out the window for 6 days as she didn’t want to “aggravate” my spots.

Just be careful but I say, Tell her.