How to assess the weight of cock/balls - both flaccid and erect!

Here is a challenge - how do you weigh/calculate/assess the weight of your tackle? Cock and balls - both with a flaccid penis and also erect. Note guys this is a non-destructive exercise!! I have often wondered what is the weight of the bits down there. So get on with the challenge. I want the method and the weight of you own. Happy challenge!

Use water displacement.

Fill a wide mouth container, like a beaker or jar, to the rim with water. Place the item(s) you wish to measure inside and collect the overflow.

From there you can use estimate by weighing the water (subtracting the weight of the container the water is in) or you can use the density of water to calculate the actual weight. It should be close enough to human density cause there is no actual “bone” in your boner, we are mostly water.

Edit:
We are mostly salt water. So use saline solution and corresponding density for a more precise measure. Density tables can be found online. So can the formula.

tootyfisty

Hi mate. Looks like you have some physics knowledge behind you. Great stuff. Now will all you budding scientists and/or mathematicians get to work. Remember we want both the flaccid and erect weight. Goodness I can’t see anyone carrying out tootyfisty’s method with an erection!!! There may be other ways to at least estimate the total weight of the tackle. So get on the job but don’t do yourself an injury in the process! This is a fun project - but on the other hand has no-one else wondered what weight is hanging down there? Well hung indeed!! There used to be a joke going around these parts about is it a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder? (What was that about pounder?!). Surely some of you big boys can exceed those. No?

Keirs

Estimate the volume of your tool and consider it being made of water. Volume estimation can be done by 3D imagery and integration, water displacement, taking a mould, shape scanning, or whatever… Of course, the easiest methods (but not the most accurate) are girth measurements along the shaft & integration and water displacement. I wouldn’t go so far with water displacement to use saline solution, or temperature correction to density; it’s more than naivety to be excessively accurate on density when volume estimation sucks by orders of magnitude…

Agreed.

The displacement method should work hard or soft. Just keep the top of the container level.

I have had nightmares, a few times, where my cock/balls have been amputated and I’m trying to stick them together with glue. It was scary.

Fill a bucket with a controlled amount of water. Stick your dick in. Water will drip out. Measure the remaining water, subtract from controlled amount, and you have the volume of your penis. It is simple maths to figure anything else out. Archimedes method.

He said weight not volume Einstein! ;) Once you have the volume even that won’t help you weigh it because I’m sure the exact tissue(and whatever makes up a penis and balls) including letting the spunk build up varies from person to person.

I think the only way to do this correctly is get a full hard on tie string around your entire package and pull it tight as possible. Go to the kitchen, grab a bit knife and wack it off careful not to spill any blood. Throw it in a previously weighed container, put in there, measure on scales and subtract the weight of the container! Hey presto ;)

That’s a good idea! I was just thinking about it, but I hate stiches.

You should have noticed how little shit I gave. (:

Also the integral of a slice (imaginary) rotated about the axis can give a decent estimation of volume, and then using density again can give us the weight here on earth.

Yeah I’m a nerd

I knew there was a reason for only being interested in length and girth. Next thing you’ll be trying to do is calculate the force you generate whilst penetrating at 30 mph.

I don’t think we would have to rotate it about an axis. We could just assume the shaft is a cylinder and the head is a hemisphere and use those equations to calculate the volume. I think we could also use the slice method for the cylinder and hemisphere and have the limits of integration be the length of the penis. Someone can correct me if this approach is wrong.

We could get a decent estimate, but I think the problem would be the tissue density and its blood holding capacity. It would really help to find the average tissue density of a penis, if such info even exists, and the average blood holding capacity of the tissues.

Hi Keirs

I have managed to weigh my flaccid dick and balls which were 3oz for my dick and 4oz for both balls which gives a total of 7oz. It’s tricky to measure erected dick as gravity is against you. I don’t fancy putting my dick and balls in a container of water, but I might try it later.

Well done Letmegrow - I wondered how you got it weighed. Looks like you are about a half-pounder hanging there!

Keirs