HELP! Compliment Turns Bittersweet

Hi freak,

If you want more, and feel that is what you want, then do it for yourself. If you want to stop, then stop. It is your body and you are the one that has to live with it when it is all said and done.

BUT…if 8” is your goal, then obtain your goal (if you haven’t already…not sure of your size) because that is what you wish to achieve. DO NOT let a size complex cloud your judgment. Your girlfriend stated that she was not pleased with 10”. I don’t care if she is wrong about the size or not. The thing is, if this is the woman you want to be with and she says you are perfect (I mean perfect) then take it at face value and go from there. So what if women can’t tell an exact size, but I can guarantee they know what does and doesn’t feel good to them. If you decide later on that she is not the one and you want more, go for it. Right now, or before the “incident” you were cool with everything. You mentioned you would consider stopping. I am proud of you for even having that notion.

I have seen my share of (I really hate to use this word around a bunch of men) pretty dicks here. I mean absolutely fantastic and wondered why the hell are they PEing. It’s a man thing and I will never understand. I may not understand, but I tell you this, I know what looks good to me and what doesn’t. I know what satisfy me and what doesn’t. If my husband decided to PE, I would support him all the way. But I would also make sure before anything is started that there is some kind of agreement on what his limits will be. Because he may have this big daddy johnson dangling down his pants leg, but that thing will still be trying to enter me. And just because he wants the lockness monster in his pants doesn’t mean I have to like it. You know what I mean?

If your girl is happy with what you have and you are satisfied with her pleasure, why worry about something she isn’t fretting over? Why concern yourself with something in the past? How would you react if she kept making her breast bigger and bigger just because you dated one, (1), singular woman whose breast size was a triple cup size? How would you feel if she was never satisfied with your love for her from head to toe, but was more concerned about what you had ages ago? Would seem pretty silly. If not unnerving.

Ultimately, it is your life. You have to tell yourself what is enough. You have to tell yourself that numbers go on to infinity. You can get to the ideal length and still go for more. Just knowing when to stop is the key. And I think if that last bit about her ex boyfriend had not come up, this thread would not even exist.

>>”Honey, a few years ago I was with a guy who was about 10 inches and always felt like he had to be a manly man and try to fit it all in and it sucked”. <<

Freakoftheweek75 do you only have selective hearing? Did you not hear the part where she said “IT SUCKED”?

So it bothers you about his size? Like it was a good thing? She hated it. How can you be jealous of that??

I don’t think theres anything that can be said by her that you will genuinely be happy with.
Thats because of one very important factor.
You are not happy with yourself. You don’t find happiness out there. You will only find it within. You wont recognize it out there until you have it within.

You need to work on your self confidence. Because just getting a bigger dick is not going to fix this. It has a deeper root. Its not just about your size.

If your concerns were actually centered around how happy she is with your size then you would not be unhappy right now.
She has expressed her happiness to you. She also said a larger dick to her sucked.
So its all about you now. Now you need to be happy with you. You are the only reason your not!

I know - I totally admit it’s my own insecurites, and I shouldn’t be….since coming here i’ve gotten to 7 inches and a decent girth. But still - it’s so hard to describe unless you’re a guy…..I know other guys who’ve felt this way. That’s what I’m trying to figure out. Why does this disturb me so much? It’s frikkin skin for christsakes!….lol. But it bugs me nonetheless.

(wow, it took so long to write this that other people have already now replied. well, anyhow, here goes):

I am sure Anna will probably reply to this - you might PM her to take a look at this thread.

But I’ll start off for you.

Your perspective is warped.

(Sorry, but sometimes I am really straightforward - I really do care, so let me explain):

You’ve been conditioned (somehow, like me - it’s so easier to see it in other people, you know) to think that bigger is always better. Always. What she told you I take for face value. She did *not* like that guy or his cock (at least how he used it). Trust me, if you are 7 inches and a good lover you make him look like an idiot. And, statistically speaking, he probably wasn’t 10 inches and you know that. You can count the 10 inchers in this forum on one hand (and still have enough fingers to do a manual stretch), and we are pulling guys from all over the globe.

You have to disconnect your mind from the mentality that women always want a 10-12” penis. It just ain’t so. Yes, there are some really obsessive women who dig that. Size queens. They are usually not the ones you want to make your wife, understand? You are a piece of meat to them. Just like guys who objectify women. Stand clear of that.

It’s not a ‘too much information’ problem. It’s a ‘information not processed correctly’ problem.

I think she really does not want you to get a 10 incher (and that would be difficult anyhow). Now, adding another inch up to 8 inches and still treating her right with it should be quite fine. I have no clue on your girth but that’s actually more important once you get around 7 inches and up. If you are under 5.5” girth, then there is a need. Bib says “length is just a means of delivering the girth”. A good thing to remember. That is what fills a woman, especially if you can reach their depths.

I would listen heavily to what she says and consider it from her standpoint. Imagine this: you are getting a digital exam of your rump - do you want a doc with a small finger or a sausage finger? Yeah, we aren’t talking length here, but the idea is comfort. I take her words that sex with that guy was plain pathetic. She sounds as if she truly enjoys it with you.

So the problem isn’t how she ‘really’ feels about things and it isn’t the size of that guy’s rod. What is it then? That’s rhetorical.

Please don’t feel slammed. But the main thing in this community that burns me is guys who judge themselves (in a sense) based on their penis size. It just isn’t healthy.

Remember this - if she truly loves you and you are really good to her sexually (in fact, you are both good to each other sexually) then there is no one who will turn her inside out like you can. Not even Bib or DLD or the other big guys. Cause that is not what matters. Women feel very differently about sex than men do. And you want that - trust me. It is what makes the bond stronger.

-BH

Yeah, what she said.

Look, yeah, we help ya get a bigger dick at Thunder’s. But we also help ya in the noggin.

Analyze if porn has affected how you see things. Cut if off if that’s the case.

Thanks Buster - that helps. And honestly (no I’m not just saying this to make myself feel better) but I thought that same thing about “Was he REALLY 10 inches?” To most girls who are used to the average 5.5-6 inch penis, when they see an 8 or 9 incher for the 1st time (and apparently this guy was 95 lbs. soaking wet to boot) you could probably tell them it was 10 and they’d believe it. The funny thing is the first thing I though twas - how do the thousands of guys at thunders NOT have a measurement like this when even DLD and Bib didn’t start off that big. It was almost hard to believe!

One thing to remember - PE is basically a one way road.

Don’t go to far down the wrong road.

-BH

Well, first of all I wouldn’t worry about it too much. She said, it sucked, right? Now, if she would have said something other than that, it would make me think. Besides that, women have difficulties estimating size and distance, in general. So when she says she had a 10”er, I would ask her if she measured it. The way you make it sound, it seems to me that she didn’t had a real committed relationship with that dude otherwise she would be with you today.

Here’s a little scenario for you, something that I encountered just recently with my GF:

I’m dating her for about six months now, and she and I were talking about dick size, dildos and other stuff that turns her on. According to her she had a one-night-stand some time last year before I started dating her with some guy who, supposedly, had a 9” tool. Well, I took that with a grain of salt, but had to keep in mind that she’s actually one of those who can guess size pretty accurately since she comes from a carpenter family and helped out on projects quite often. So she’s familiar with inches, centimeters, circumferences, lengths and such.

I asked her about the 9”er and what it did to her and she was being honest and said that it actually felt pretty good. But she didn’t really dig the guy that it was attached too. He was to self-absorbed over his tool, she said.

About a month ago I let her in on the my PE routines, workouts and the entire procedure in general. She was all for it! Supports me in every aspect without giving me the feeling that my dick is inadequate. According to her my dick’s more than fine. She loves it, like to play with it and during sex really worships the little guy.

I’m not tripping over the fact that she had a bigger one before me. Everyone has a past and there will always be guys with bigger tools than yours or mine, so relax and enjoy sex with your soon to be fiancee and wife, Bro. And if PE is important to you, keep doing it and explain to her why (the benefits that PE provides…healthier dick, better bloodflow, harder erections and so forth). If she’s still against it then, well….do it on your own time.

Hope I could help.

FOTW, I know exactly how you feel. Jennifer and I have a very very very honest relationship. We have shared all of our past experiences in frank detail. I think the warning I got was “Don’t dig up the past if you don’t want to get dirty”. I heard this advice loud and clear but I still wanted to know as Jen did too. At the time of this I was at my pre-pe size of 6.5”. I found out about alot of stuff that made me sad and so did she. She did say she was with 2 guys that were huge. (huge to her at the time was 10” but upon deeper reflextion they were closer to 7”) She thought I was the same size. Anyway it haunted me. The thought of her being with someone bigger than me just broke my heart and my confidence. I knew she loved me but it still was in the back of my mind. As a man hearing your perfect in alot of ways is not good enough. Even worse is when you hear your just fine the way you are. No matter what our partner says I still think there is a part of us that does PE just for us. Yes 5” is perfect but I want more than perfect (is that possible?) Over time the hurt feelings did heal and through the incredible honesty we share we have an incredible relationship that is unique to anything else I have ever experienced. I have heard so many people say that keeping secrets is a normal part of a relationship but for us it’s not. Sometimes I say to myself perhaps ignorance is bliss, but when I really think about it I feel a sort of relief I know everything, it is hard to explain but it makes our relationship for pure.

The wonderful thing about PE is we can get to the most compatible size with our partner that makes both people feel secure and adaqute. Opening up the flood gates to honesty can be difficult but in the end I think we really find out who the other person is.

Freak

Just PE for yourself, my x told me when I was 6.25 I was perfect and when I was 7.00 I was pefect and now at 8.00x6.5 I’m perfect for her. Women will get used to almost any new size you get slowly, within reason.

Dino

I agree with dino. I had similar experience. the gains are gradual and she will accomadate whatever you put on within limits. I think you could easily get to your goal before you marry her without her noticing much. If my wife would tell me to stop, I would have to ask why, because if I’m not hurting her then its a control issue and man this is YOUR body after all. I do think If I was in your shoes I would stop at 8 and not push the limits too soon.

Can’t agree with everything you said - some yes, others no.

Freak, as others have pointed out, that guy was not 10”.

Yet, a comment like “It was 10” and sucked” sounds like a comment an ex was telling me about a guy she had given a BJ to before she met me.

She was laughing while reminicising over the incident (which made me feel uncomfortable) but she tried to make things better saying that “he took ages to cum!” as if that made things all better.

In other words, she had a big dick and she didn’t like it. And politicians aren’t corrupt. And the queens slippers don’t smell of Corgi piss.

Maybe the guy wasn’t her type, and thats why they broke up. If you don’t want cut feet, don’t walk barefoot over glass. Remember that women REMEMBER everything and can use ‘forgotten’ things against you in the future. If you push the size issue, you will hear things you would rather not.

As Dino and others have said - do PE for you, not for anyone else. She says you are perfect now and you are. You get bigger and she will still say you are perfect. Go figure.

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Nice

Agree with Guiri. Do it for yourself. What I am saying is that if you do it because some OTHER dude is so-and-so, that isn’t for yourself. Dig? It’s outta fear.

Dag, if I could just make other people give me money outta some insecurity on their part…

WOW…would you look at what I did. I thought I hit quote and hit edit instead. What a dumb@ss. Sorry.