Guys, don't let this happen to you...stay focused on PE dammit!
My consistency with keeping up the PE process has taken a major fucking downhill slide these past several months and I don’t even know what the point is of trying to restart everything again. Even if I start PEing again after I’m done posting this thread, I have a feeling that I’m probably just going to abruptly stop PEing 4 - 5 weeks from now, and this process will repeat itself again and again. I suddenly decide to come back here and read through the threads, and it “remotivates” me to go back into PEing, only to fall flat on my face after a few weeks pass and I get bored again. I have a feeling this has become a never ending cycle for me. Now that I’ve realized all of this, I feel like a failure in so many ways, and it’s like my PEing cycle has reached an incredible low, like I’m literally “cock teasing” myself, pretending I’m going to make gains by starting PE and then stopping PE every few months.
The most recent incident I had with this was the beginning of summer 2003 when I started slacking off with the PEing in very big ways. I completely stopped jelqing altogether on the last week of June cause I felt it was inconveniant to fit it into my days, and I believe the increased girth of my glans that I was so proud of obtaining.. has diminished now. From July to August, I slowly had reduced length exercises from an hour to barely even 20 minutes. What the fuck is this? How the hell did I let this happen and why do I keep letting it happen at all?
The worst was on the 3rd week of August when I had a lot of things to take care of and I also met a new girl. I was doing some PEing late at night (like I always do), and then all of a sudden I started thinking of the girl and just stopped PEing and called her. The next few nights I started seeing it as more and more of a boring hassle, and now I’ve ended up putting it completely to a halt… again.
To break it down for you guys even more…
I start off with the original goal that we all have where I want to make my dick bigger. I’m fighting to improve the size, so I begin the exercises. Then after a couple weeks, I see a slow and minimal amount of progress in my dick’s growth, and I get frustrated by all that work just for a few centimeters. Next, the progress slows down, as I start getting bored of the exercises I’m doing and start seeing them as a hassle. Suddenly I have to find some way to fight this boredom, and the original goal of making my dick bigger is replaced by finding away to reduce the boredom and hassle of working some PE sessions into my days. Obviously, the only way I’ve managed to do that is by reducing the amount of time/days I spend PEing, and at that point, instead of PE being a beneficial past time, it becomes an annoying inconvenience. Frustration, boredom, and lack of dedication kill it all for me.
I’m not going to lie to you guys…this isn’t the first time this has happened to me. At the beginning of the year I also started getting bored of the stretching/jelqing (as well as lazy), and I stopped PEing for a whole month. Very bad shit.
What I am doing (and what I have done) is very wrong and very detrimental to any type of long term progress I dream of achieving. But it seems like no matter how fucking hard I try to keep myself going at it, I inevitably get lazy one day and start putting off the PE to once every other day, and then it becomes chronic and I barely do it all one week, and then finally I lose any/all motivation to perform the exercises, and simply stop PEing. Could it be that I’m simply not cut out for PE and have been wasting my time all along?
I think a lot of people share a belief that if you perform these exercises on your dick for weeks and weeks, then all of a sudden stopping them completely, your dick will not only have not grown at all after all that time you wasted with the exercises, but it will also have become stronger at resisting the stresses placed on it. So in other words, if you try and go back it again, you’d have to work even harder since it’s built up an endurance, right?
I am not so sure I agree with that idea but it sure as hell demotivates me even more and makes me feel like I shouldn’t even bother pretending I’m going to keep up with my commitment. I can’t believe how pathetic my whole prediacment has become. I’ve spent countless hours of my time on trying to grow a bigger dick over the past 12 months, have been decently succesful, and then it’s like all of a sudden I piss it all away and stop. WTF? Why don’t I have this same problem with working out in the gym? How is it that I can stay incredibly consistent at going to the gym everyday, but screw myself over with PE?
I think the problem I’ve had all along is that when it comes down to it, I really wasn’t giving too much a shit about PE. I wasn’t dedicated enough to the process, never charted any progress or kept logs or anything. The only thing that kept me interested in it was reading the threads on here, but eventually I’d stop coming the forums and my motivation to PE would be shot down to shit.
My current situation now is that whenever I take a piss or jack off or whatever the hell I do that involves my dick, I look at my penis and I feel so goddamn disappointed by what I see. It’s not (only) about the length/girth of it though, it’s about how much time I’ve spent trying to improve upon it, and then let it all go to fucking trash. The odd thing is, before I started PE, I never felt bad about my size nor even really cared about my dick that much at all unless a girl mentioned something about it. But now that I’ve gone through almost a year of on and off PEing, whenever I look at my dick, I just see failure and disappointment because I’m taking two steps forward and then five steps back over and over with the whole PE process. I guess this just has something to do with the type of person I am and my lack of patience.
If I figured out a way to get myself dedicated enough to performing PE sessions every night, I probably would have maintained enough needed consistencyto have grown at least a full inch in both length and girth by now. I’d probably be really fucking happy too because I would have moved that much closer to reaching a goal. Instead, I got lazy, bored, and irritated with PE and its needs to achieve progress, and now I’m stuck in a really bad funk where I have many negative thoughts on PE, not to mention a dick that has had very minimal gains after nearly a year’s worth of work in PEing.
Don’t let yourself fall into this shithole of an abyss I’ve allowed myself to get stuck in. Stay dedicated and determined by doing whatever the hell you have to do to keep yourself motivated in PE. If you were/are in a similar situation where you’re getting back into PEing, you better reorganize yourself and make some type of plan to have stability and appreciation for your work, otherwise you’re going to be one disappointed miserable fucking prick—in more ways than one.