One late night, when I was younger and socially awkward, I was at a bus station bathroom that only had 3 urinals and 2 guys were clearly jerking each other. As soon as I finished pissing the guy next to me whispered “suck?” and went to grab my dick. I nearly ran out of there with my dick out while having an anxiety attack.

I washed my hands because I felt unclean and as I left hoover mouth was taking care of the other guy in plain view on anyone walking into the bathroom. I went to the ticket collector and told her what was going on and she said “did you ask them to stop? They usually stop when you ask”

As I was wandering the bus station questioning my sexuality and asking myself “why DIDN’T I ask them to stop?” , I found a transit constable and basically went “hey! I found a crime! Follow me!” and when I got there, there were 3 DIFFERENT FUCKING GUYS all fooling around and when the constable went in 2 guys bolted and one got a $50 ticket for sexual misconduct. This was back in the 2000s though, nowadays if you “manspread” and adjust in front of the wrong person your face will be all over the news and they’ll fight to put you on a registry.

Now I can spot a cock sucker from a mile away which can spice up my commute home from work ;)