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Girth Test: Toilet Paper Roll

Girth Test: Toilet Paper Roll

Though probably nothing new and even discussed before I had to share this because it comes as an eye opening lesson for me. It speaks to perception and the image we hold of ourselves, for better or worse.

I have been winding down my length routine and conditioning myself for what I hope will be a successful attempt at gaining a good amount of girth. As I have read up on it and explored options my head has been saturated with the subject: “Girth, girth, and more girth. Gotta get me some girth, and then some more girth, or damn all creation!”

Today, I was leaving my bathroom when I noticed that it was time to change the toilet paper roll. Never one to leave other people and their dingle-berries hanging, I switched the old for the new, but it was just as I was about to toss the old that the haunting mantra began chanting in my head: “Girth, girth, and more girth. Gotta get me some girth….”

Something about the cardboard roll rang a bell. It had something to do with Tom Hubbard’s site and using an empty TP roll to compare yourself to. I knew Tom’s idea had something to do with length comparisons, but my head was elsewhere.
This damn tube looked fat. If only I could attain this kind of girth I could die happy. Screw the numbers on the tape measure; this should be my goal size. This would be the ideal girth to compliment my new length.
So, naturally I did what any good maladjusted PE’er would and whipped out the old Skipper. I ordered him to stand at attention and proceeded to work up a perfect erection.

“Prepare to meet your destiny!” I scolded him and sent him into the tube. At first I was a bit impressed as parts of my glans gently brushed the sides of the tubes interior - but the amazement on my face must have been priceless when as I moved my unit forward, at about mid-shaft it would move forward no more.

Can you say “WTF”? This roll was stuffed with more of my unit than a Pilgrims large intestine is with turkey flesh on November 26th. I honestly couldn’t believe it. I tried to push forward but the skin on my shaft began to bunch up and spill over the sides. Not half of my unit in and I was done. I was also woken up.

I went to find my tape and measured the thing. It is 5 1/2” inches around on the outside - accounting for the loss that the cardboard itself creates it would be fair to call it 5 3/8” - but still, my unit exceeded the diameter of the interior.

I have always been suspicious of using symmetrical objects like shaving cans and the like as comparison tools. No penis can match these perfect cylinders for the impressive shape they are. As well, the natural cutting in and out as well as the dome shape of the glans are not present - it is not a fair comparison. But this exercise honestly shook my perception of what “large” is.

I have the little empty roll sitting here as I type this (he looks completely traumatized by the experience, poor thing). As I look at it I still have a sense of amazement coursing through me:
I am that thick? A half hour ago that was going to be my goal size.


They make excellent rough size gauges. Keep the same tube for future comparison, but also try some others. My toilet paper tube is almost exactly 5” circumference on the inside (measured with calipers), but a paper towel tube I keep handy is about 5.2”. There is probably also variation by brand.

After pumping while wrapped my head isn’t even close to fitting in the smaller tube. Close, but not quite on the bigger one. I’m looking forward to that becoming my normal size.

Strange how those tubes look pretty impressive, but my dick doesn’t, even when expanded enough that it won’t fit.

What a great story. I’m glad I’m not the only one who has tried that…lol. I think the same thing about those tubes and I make it to the circumcision line and stop. But I don’t appear or feel that thick to myself. I want both length and more girth.

I read in a men’s magazine (I think it was Men’s Health) that you should consider wearing large condoms if, when erect, you can’t fit a TP roll over your penis. I’m proud to say that I can’t do this. Proud owner of 5 1/2” girth (6” pumped!). If only I could do something about my length (6 1/2”). Working on that part as well, with the ultimate goal of 8 x 6”.

Originally Posted by hobby
Keep the same tube for future comparison

Damn. I should have known - One passionate moment with a toilet pape tube and I’m stuck with it for life.


re: Girth Test: Toilet Paper Roll

A woman had posted on a men’s message board, that the toilet paper roll test is the way to determine if you have the ideal girth. So I tried it, and was relieved that I passed the test (barely). But like you guys, when i looked at the roll, i was thinking it looked huge compared to me. But it fit snugly, and I was impressed. I wonder where she came up with that, never heard it before. But even though I passed the test, I still feel like I am not that big, and why I have started PE’ing just recently.

Back in high school I used to enjoy shoving my flaccid dick in a TP tube then getting an erection. Then I would hop in the shower and watch it split open when it got soaked. Fun times!!

"You can't judge a fisherman by the size of his boat, but a bigger boat sure makes his job easier!"- unknown "Its not the size of the boat, its the motion in the ocean. Yeah but it takes a long time to get to England in a rowboat!" - Jeff Foxworthy June 2002: BPEL:6.5-6.75" EG:5.5-5.75" ? (Toilet Paper tube girth) October 2003 BPEL:8.0" EG:6.5" mid 7.0" @ Base February 2005 same :( New Year's Resolution: Lose 15 lbs and break this stupid plateau!!!!

Ive heard of this one before on late night tv! (Men & motors I think) Its just a rough guide, the way he said it was, if you see any light through the tube when its on your dick then you should choose a smaller condom. A tight fit means your average and not being able to put your dick all the way through means your above average and should buy accordingly or the condom might split!

I think the size is going to vary from country to country though, GB is roughly 6”

That’s interesting what Dash shared about the female perspective on this. When coupled with what Hobby said about these cardboard tubes making excellent rough size gauges it makes me think that this could be a very useful tool for those poor bastards that make the mistake of asking their significant other about the girth of a previous lover.

If there is doubt or angst, maybe grabbing an empty TP roll and asking “Was he this big?” would help settle matters. It is likely that he/she will say “Yes” or “No, smaller” but highly unlikely would be the reply “No, bigger” - such is the seemingly impressive girth of one of these rolls.

On average, the poor bastard with the inquisitive mind will be able to show his SO that he is at least that big or larger. If not, at least he will have a readily available marker of what his goal is in order to stop going to therapy :)

How we perceive our dicks and how others perceive them is a true mystery to me. My wife was inserting a filler into our grandchild’s baby bottle when I remarked that the filler, 6” around at the base, reminded me of a condom. She laughed, “Don’t be ridiculous. That’s too big for a condom.” “It won’t fit mine,” I replied. She grinned.


"It's not the getting there but the going that's gotta be good." Varg


Cap, don’t cheat on your TP roll with the paper towel roll. You’ll only be found out and then pay for it for many years to come.

Actually, if you take this one step further and cut down a paper towel roll to match your length, the resulting tribute to your penis would probably look pretty damn impressive. It would probably give you a better appreciation for you length as well as your girth.

I remember playing with TP rolls as a young wipper snapper (18) and I would fit inside just fine with just a little bit of my dick sticking out the far end. That gives me an idea of my starting measurements from long ago. Now, after 30 years of wanking and 6 months of PE, the TP roll gives me an appreciation for how far I’ve come. I’ve gained at least 2” in length and 1” inch in girth, using the new official CaptnHook TP roll measuring device. Who said that there is no science behind PE? Hogwash!

I'm hung like Einstein and smart as a horse.

I couldn’t possibly take credit Knob, but there might be a good angle here for the next Thunder’s Place T-shirt. Imagine it -

A graphic of an empty toilet paper tube and under it the slogan:

“Fill The Roll”

That’s awesome - I like it very much. Now I have to stop laughing before the office wonders what’s going on.

I'm hung like Einstein and smart as a horse.

Hey man, that there slogan is a triple entendre. It’s gold, baby.

What has me cracking up is that in at least a few dozen homes across America today a wife, girlfriend, or mother is screaming “Where the hell did all the toilet paper go?!”

I passed the paper towel roll test, but the paper towel roll still kicks my ass, because I could press it down to 2.1 inches from the base of my cone shaped penis. My midshaft girth is still only 5.25 inches, and my girth right below the glans is a joke.

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