Girth Test: Toilet Paper Roll
Though probably nothing new and even discussed before I had to share this because it comes as an eye opening lesson for me. It speaks to perception and the image we hold of ourselves, for better or worse.
I have been winding down my length routine and conditioning myself for what I hope will be a successful attempt at gaining a good amount of girth. As I have read up on it and explored options my head has been saturated with the subject: “Girth, girth, and more girth. Gotta get me some girth, and then some more girth, or damn all creation!”
Today, I was leaving my bathroom when I noticed that it was time to change the toilet paper roll. Never one to leave other people and their dingle-berries hanging, I switched the old for the new, but it was just as I was about to toss the old that the haunting mantra began chanting in my head: “Girth, girth, and more girth. Gotta get me some girth….”
Something about the cardboard roll rang a bell. It had something to do with Tom Hubbard’s site and using an empty TP roll to compare yourself to. I knew Tom’s idea had something to do with length comparisons, but my head was elsewhere.
This damn tube looked fat. If only I could attain this kind of girth I could die happy. Screw the numbers on the tape measure; this should be my goal size. This would be the ideal girth to compliment my new length.
So, naturally I did what any good maladjusted PE’er would and whipped out the old Skipper. I ordered him to stand at attention and proceeded to work up a perfect erection.
“Prepare to meet your destiny!” I scolded him and sent him into the tube. At first I was a bit impressed as parts of my glans gently brushed the sides of the tubes interior - but the amazement on my face must have been priceless when as I moved my unit forward, at about mid-shaft it would move forward no more.
Can you say “WTF”? This roll was stuffed with more of my unit than a Pilgrims large intestine is with turkey flesh on November 26th. I honestly couldn’t believe it. I tried to push forward but the skin on my shaft began to bunch up and spill over the sides. Not half of my unit in and I was done. I was also woken up.
I went to find my tape and measured the thing. It is 5 1/2” inches around on the outside - accounting for the loss that the cardboard itself creates it would be fair to call it 5 3/8” - but still, my unit exceeded the diameter of the interior.
I have always been suspicious of using symmetrical objects like shaving cans and the like as comparison tools. No penis can match these perfect cylinders for the impressive shape they are. As well, the natural cutting in and out as well as the dome shape of the glans are not present - it is not a fair comparison. But this exercise honestly shook my perception of what “large” is.
I have the little empty roll sitting here as I type this (he looks completely traumatized by the experience, poor thing). As I look at it I still have a sense of amazement coursing through me:
I am that thick? A half hour ago that was going to be my goal size.