Thunder's Place

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Funny or Embarrassing Big Dick Stories

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Funny or Embarrassing Big Dick Stories

I thought it might be good to add a bit of humor to the site, and a thread of funny big dick stories might do that. To get it started, I thought I could share my experience with TSA airport security over the weekend.

I was flying to Chicago to see the Cubs in the World Series. I wore the xsleeve ADS I bought from Monkeybar and thought it would be OK because it has only a tiny bit of metal in it. As others have pointed out, however, it can make your penis look very big, since it is stretched out and encased in a silicone tube, adding substantially to its girth. I’m not enormous, but it does create that impression. I wore loose pants so I didn’t think anyone would notice.

That was a bad idea.

The scanner flagged me for having too big a dick. I was pulled out of the line and given a pat down. The TSA guy patted everywhere, but stopped when he reached the lump in my pants. His eyes got very big. He kind of backed away from me and gave me a very funny look, then let me go. If I were a little younger, it might have been more of a problem.

Moral of the story: don’t wear PE devices when you go through airport security!


Live long and prosper.

Xsleeve shenanigans

The Xsleeve is an easy one. I’ll one up you. I wore it to work a few times. I got some sideline remarks, one was as bold as “He got a gun going all the way down his leg!” from a Passer by, and I got several other “gun” compliments as I’m doing security armed in a grocery store.

But the worst was when I was working an apt complex. This one lady insisted on bugging me every day I worked and she caught me coming from some disturbance before I got down to my desk, which is inside a bullet proof booth that affords me all the privacy I need from the waist down. Lady is late 50s, early 60s. Literally my mom’s age. And at this time…is wheelchair bound.

She’s been flirty before but now she’s staring at it, and I’m wearing a super big weight like 14oz, which is just a huge thing that sways like a wrecking ball in addition to the sleeve. So I’m printing like a Kinkos kiosk but…she’s really chatty now. Every time I move to one side to try and parry away from her eyes she wheels back in front of me, never stopping the conversation. She then ends the conversation with “call me!” and gives out her number.

That was the last time I ever wore the Xsleeve at work.


Now: 8.875" BPEL x 6.125" MSEG as of 8/12/2016 It's a long story but...

Then: 6.25" x 4.37" in 8/2009 Are you new to PE? Here's some advice I wish someone had given me when I first started.

My big secret? My methods. There is no "Holy Grail" of Penis Enlargement. Only time and effort works. I'm 7 years in and counting. Put the work in then the gains will come. All you have to do is keep the faith.


Last edited by thoughtfulgold : 11-05-2016 at . Reason: added a title

Alas, I’ve been one upped! :)


Live long and prosper.

It just didn't fit!

This is my most vivid embarrassing story.

I met a lady on OK Cupid one night. Dating site shenanigans ensue and we meet at a diner near her house and I charm her into taking me home. (Where is that dashing devil now when I need him?) We get home, she’s not in the mood for sex. Or rather, doesn’t want to be a cheap whore in her own words. We cuddle and sleep on the couch. But she feels me against her and asks “what’s that?” and I tell her it’s my cock and she bugs her eyes a bit and we move on.

The next night though, she’s curious and eager. She gets my pants off…and she does a porn caliber “wow!” and looks at me with an awestruck look. I’m eating it up, cuz I had mentioned I may be bigger than she was used to since she was married to her prom date 10 years and he took her virginity. At the time I was probably 8.25x5.5” fully hard. Probably 5 or so flaccid at this scene. Her husband was a high school linebacker, grew into the barrel chested tubby type at 5 inches at best. She ladles out more ego strokes, having seen a fair share of nude men as a hospice nurse but none my size. And I tell her she may have trouble with it but not to worry. Just take it easy, don’t rush.

She of course refuses to listen. She’s had two kids vaginally, her vagina can handle me…or so she thinks. We go to missionary…and we end up with a problem.

It won’t go. I try again and it barely goes. It’s so tight I’m having issues holding my load so I look up. Her face is a completely silent perfect O of pain and strain to take me. I move again, fresh contortions. Not good. I try to pull out…but she goes to pull me in with her heels and hands. She refuses to let me stop.

I end up struggling with my load AND holding an erection until I orgasm half hard inside her. After which we laugh about it, because she’s so sore (by some miracle she didn’t tear) that she actually admits she needed to take my size warning seriously. The relationship actually dies because we can’t attempt penetration sex without laughing because we are such a bad match, lube or not cuz I bought some. It was adorable like a skit off Sex in The City. I showed up for nearly 2 weeks to cuddle, chat and attempt sex till we got sick of that and drifted apart.

That story is why I keep saying bigger isn’t always better. Be careful. It’s not as simple as it looks to handle a really big dick on either end.


Now: 8.875" BPEL x 6.125" MSEG as of 8/12/2016 It's a long story but...

Then: 6.25" x 4.37" in 8/2009 Are you new to PE? Here's some advice I wish someone had given me when I first started.

My big secret? My methods. There is no "Holy Grail" of Penis Enlargement. Only time and effort works. I'm 7 years in and counting. Put the work in then the gains will come. All you have to do is keep the faith.


Last edited by thoughtfulgold : 11-05-2016 at . Reason: added a title

I have pumped the morning before flying a few times and the last 3 times the security camera spots something in my crotch so they pull me to the side for a pat down and let me go afterwards . The first time it happened the TSA agent says you should thank your parents. This was in front of so many hot women in line. Then I get on the plane and I’m sitting next to a knockout fine hispanic lady who us giving me the eye and making conversation half of the flight. The third time I was flying back from a work convention in Las Vegas and I warned 2 of my female coworkers that I always get pulled aside and patted down at the checkpoint. Of course it happens again. They get right through and I get pulled aside for something showing up in my crotch. So once I get through the girls keep asking “why does this always happen”? I just reply “They always find something in my crotch”. You should have seen the looks on their faces. By the way my supervisor is a hot Arab-American about 42 and the other coworker was a caucasian and just turned 60 that day. I think the fluid build up from pumping is the culprit but I love the big dick reputation it caused.. lol


Starting date 5/14/2015

Staring size: NBPEL 8.0 BPEL 8.75 Mseg 4.9 BEG 5.25

Currently 5/17/2016 NBPEL 8.3 MSEG 5.25 BEG 5.7

There was a TV series in the mid-1980s called Fresno, and it was a parody of the prime time soap operas of the time like Dallas and Falcon Crest. One of the characters was called Flashlight by the women in the show because of his size. Because it was network TV, they weren’t too overt about it, just lots of hinting, blushing, and flirting.

You should have auditioned for the show, SoLong! I’m sure you would have been a better actor :)


Live long and prosper.

I haven’t flown since…2011? I might get pulled to the side now, actually. My flaccid gains have definitely been more this last year and a half than any other year.

…now you make me want to fly even less, SoLong. I don’t wanna have to drive everywhere! *chuckles*


Now: 8.875" BPEL x 6.125" MSEG as of 8/12/2016 It's a long story but...

Then: 6.25" x 4.37" in 8/2009 Are you new to PE? Here's some advice I wish someone had given me when I first started.

My big secret? My methods. There is no "Holy Grail" of Penis Enlargement. Only time and effort works. I'm 7 years in and counting. Put the work in then the gains will come. All you have to do is keep the faith.

That’s it. I’m going to complete a 4 hour pump session right before my flight so I can contribute a story to this thread haha. Great stuff on here. Hope to hear more.


Started 11/2014 6.0" BPEL x 4.0" MEG (Ballpark #'s)

03/2016 7 1/4" BPEL x 4 7/8" MEG

Goal for 2018 is 8.0" BPEL x 5.5" MEG! PE'ing Just Over a Year and Going for 8x6

Once in college, I went to the infirmary because of discomfort while urinating. I was embarrassed to have to go see somebody for this and a little scared about STDs. When a young female doctor came in the room to examine me, I was even more embarrassed to talk to a woman about my private areas (you try telling a woman to look at your penis because it burns when you pee). She could tell I was embarrassed talking about it and told me to relax, disrobe and put on the gown. She would be back in a few minutes for the examination.

I put on the silly thing and waited, embarrassed and a little scared. When she came back in the room I was half hard from nervousness (it really does have a mind of its own) and embarrassed about it. She acted very professionally as she sat on the little stool in front of me and lifted my gown.

As soon as she touched my penis to examine it, it jumped and almost hit her in the face. She involuntarily jerked back a little and said “oh my” as it hardened to its full 8”. It was pointing straight at her only a couple inches from face, close enough to feel her breath on it as she spoke. Utterly embarrassed, I said “I’m really sorry.” She replied “that’s okay, there’s no need to be embarrassed” as she reached for my now fully-erect cock still only a couple inches from her face. It tickled when she grabbed it under the glans and it jumped out of her hand almost hitting her nose. “Maybe we should give it a couple minutes” she said. By now it was throbbing and bobbing noticeably with every beat of my heart. I told her that I didn’t think that waiting would help. So she just grabbed me with a much tighter grip, fully examined my throbbing penis and testicles. Then she pulled out a really long Q-Tip and swabbed me (not a pleasant experience).

It turned out the irritation was from chlorine & pH levels in the pool/hot tub and not a STD.

Thanks for posting this thread; it reminded me of what was then a nerve-wracking but now a rather funny experience!


PE for length: so her heart stops when she sees it. PE for girth: to get her heart started again!

One need only leave the surface of the planet to realize we are all one people.

Originally Posted by SoLong
I have pumped the morning before flying a few times and the last 3 times the security camera spots something in my crotch so they pull me to the side for a pat down and let me go afterwards . The first time it happened the TSA agent says you should thank your parents. This was in front of so many hot women in line. Then I get on the plane and I’m sitting next to a knockout fine hispanic lady who us giving me the eye and making conversation half of the flight. The third time I was flying back from a work convention in Las Vegas and I warned 2 of my female coworkers that I always get pulled aside and patted down at the checkpoint. Of course it happens again. They get right through and I get pulled aside for something showing up in my crotch. So once I get through the girls keep asking “why does this always happen”? I just reply “They always find something in my crotch”. You should have seen the looks on their faces. By the way my supervisor is a hot Arab-American about 42 and the other coworker was a caucasian and just turned 60 that day. I think the fluid build up from pumping is the culprit but I love the big dick reputation it caused.. lol

Have you ever been stopped without pumping beforehand? Lol


7-20-16: BP: 7.62 NBP 6.75 x 5.75

12-7-16: BP: 8.25 NBP 7.31 x 5.75

TSA Loves My Lil Fella

Originally Posted by Rahman810
Have you ever been stopped without pumping beforehand? Lol

For years, I always opted out because I did not want to be irradiated.

For the last two years I have gone through the rotating scanner and wound up spending more time getting triple checked.

I have seen the scanning images of myself, a hexagonal purple area appears at my crotch every time.

I had not pumped, was not wearing any PE device, just flagged because my flaccid lil fella is 6.5 x 5.5.

The machine would blow a fuse if it saw my true 8.5 x 7.0 mid girth.

Originally Posted by BaddJack
For years, I always opted out because I did not want to be irradiated.

For the last two years I have gone through the rotating scanner and wound up spending more time getting triple checked.

I have seen the scanning images of myself, a hexagonal purple area appears at my crotch every time.

I had not pumped, was not wearing any PE device, just flagged because my flaccid lil fella is 6.5 x 5.5.

The machine would blow a fuse if it saw my true 8.5 x 7.0 mid girth.

LOL seriously though these things might irritate the heck out of you guys but for a person to pe to your size we would probably be excited every time something like this happened. Sounds like a good problem to have.


7-20-16: BP: 7.62 NBP 6.75 x 5.75

12-7-16: BP: 8.25 NBP 7.31 x 5.75

Originally Posted by ErnieBanks
There was a TV series in the mid-1980s called Fresno, and it was a parody of the prime time soap operas of the time like Dallas and Falcon Crest. One of the characters was called Flashlight by the women in the show because of his size. Because it was network TV, they weren’t too overt about it, just lots of hinting, blushing, and flirting.

You should have auditioned for the show, SoLong! I’m sure you would have been a better actor :)


The only problem is with my 5.25 mseg. I would need to pump daily before shooting.. lol


Starting date 5/14/2015

Staring size: NBPEL 8.0 BPEL 8.75 Mseg 4.9 BEG 5.25

Currently 5/17/2016 NBPEL 8.3 MSEG 5.25 BEG 5.7

Originally Posted by Rahman810

Have you ever been stopped without pumping beforehand? Lol

Never. I’m just up to 5.25 mseg (haven’t measured for months though). This only happened the 3 times when I had pumped 7-8 hours before my flight.


Starting date 5/14/2015

Staring size: NBPEL 8.0 BPEL 8.75 Mseg 4.9 BEG 5.25

Currently 5/17/2016 NBPEL 8.3 MSEG 5.25 BEG 5.7

Originally Posted by BaddJack
For years, I always opted out because I did not want to be irradiated.

For the last two years I have gone through the rotating scanner and wound up spending more time getting triple checked.

I have seen the scanning images of myself, a hexagonal purple area appears at my crotch every time.

I had not pumped, was not wearing any PE device, just flagged because my flaccid lil fella is 6.5 x 5.5.

The machine would blow a fuse if it saw my true 8.5 x 7.0 mid girth.


I was only sporting a 6x5 (guesstimate) flaccid so I would hate to see how your would show up. Lol


Starting date 5/14/2015

Staring size: NBPEL 8.0 BPEL 8.75 Mseg 4.9 BEG 5.25

Currently 5/17/2016 NBPEL 8.3 MSEG 5.25 BEG 5.7

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