Thunder's Place

The big penis and mens' sexual health source, increasing penis size around the world.

Funny or Embarrassing Big Dick Stories

12

This one actually happened 2 weeks ago so perfect timing with this thread. So I just started dating this girl – tiny Asian, about 5’2” 94lbs – and we we’ve been taking things pretty slow. She had only been with one other guy before which she felt was already about at her limit. She told me he was about the same size hard as I was flaccid… so naturally she was mortified. (BTW I’m ~7.5” BPEL but 6” MEG.) I was pretty uncertain too, but of course I reassure her, I’ve never had issues before, she SHOULD really like it, etc.. And of course I just really want to get it in. Lol We finally get to the point where we are going to make it happen, made sure she was nice and warmed up, and as expected things didn’t fit. It was like trying to cram your dick into the opening of a water bottle, basically a brick wall. Very frustrating but we both really want it, so we took it slow, she’s pulling, I’m pushing and FINALY it goes in. She’s gasping now. Like wow this feels great you’re all the way in now right? I look down and it’s just the tip. She wants more so I go to about half way and now she is seeing stars; crying out uncontrollably, moving uncontrollably, like barely aware of her surroundings. After a bit of this we pause and she asks again If I was happy and all the way in. She was shocked to hear no and I was shocked to hear she wanted all the way. So I grab her on the waist and slowly crammed it home. I must have hit her A-spot? Because supernova is probably the only way to describe it and now I think it’s safe to say the world has another big dick lover. Afterward she was like I can’t believe how far in that went, you would hit these spots that felt so good, It was amazing to be filled that much, etc… and she’s like let’s forget the dates, can we just stay in and do this all day? I’m like yeah, If that’s what you want to do I think that’s ok with me. :D

Now for the embarrassing (funny?) part:

So after we finish up the first time (and she’s done laying on the bed in a dazed stupor), she goes to the bathroom and came out like wow I think my period just started. Kinda weird because it was still about a week early but all of her friends were on theirs so maybe she’s just synching up. Next day no period… hmm that was weird but didn’t think anything of it. Next weekend comes. It’s her scheduled time of the month so we are rushing to beat the “red light”. Everything went well and she had another fantastic visit to the big dick oasis but again right after the same thing. Like wow my period just started… You sure?. Yeah I can tell it’s real this time. Sure enough the next day no period, so now were thinking this is weird. This keeps happening and on top of that she’s now late. So we google it and like 90% of the explanations are her life is over and she’s going to die (or pregnant.. Basically same thing) so next day she schedules an emergency visit with her gyno. Doctor asks her questions and is all doom and gloom just like the internet. She gets in “the chair”, pants down, spread eagle, doctor goes in for a look and then takes a different line of questions. Your boyfriend… how tall is he? Is he also Asian? How much does he weigh?? She answers the questions but the doctor still looks a bit puzzled… finally putting it together she added well his penis is huge if that’s what you are asking? The doctor was then just like yeahhh ok… Well tell him to be gentler because the reason you’re bleeding is your “front door” is torn… (ouch) So then while at work I get this graphic, annotated diagram of a vagina showing exactly what I did to her, and we both sigh a bit of relief. She’s out of commission for a week or two to be safe but otherwise everything is “ok”. I guess I owe her a nice dinner or something and maybe I’ll get her one of those pregnancy cushions to sit on Lol. Moral of the story to you guys going for girth — With great power comes great responsibility.


Last edited by AeroT : 11-13-2016 at .

My life with a big one

A TRUE STORY!
57 years ago when I was 16 years old I experimented with vacuum pumping and stretching as it was not common place then and as there was no internet and saw an article from England book that you can increase your penis for $250 so I copied the idea, As I had a small penis of 6 1/2 inch long 1 1/2inch diam I figured out that a vacuum would do the stretching I wanted. So off to the hardware store 1ft of acrylic by 2 inch diam /Schroeder valve no insert/2inch rubber cap to fit over the end with a PVC 3ft hose (sucked out the air via my mouth) sealed the vacuum with a bung plus a piece of 2inch push bike inner tube cut off and fitted to the end of tube where you put your dick in to make a good seal then scribe 1 inch measurements on the outside of the tube.

So I used this method for 5 years daily by sucking on the end of PVC tube and kinking it with a cloths peg to keep the vacuum in the extender for about ½-1 hour twice a day coating my DICK in vitamin e cream as lube, this is what transpired over 5 years my penis grew to and astounding 9 inches and 2 inches thick it was so long when I was skinny I had to lay my junk under my balls and the head used to just sat near my lower ass crack as I was trying not to show my junk in public.

Later at work mate once said “If I had the meat like you have I would not be hiding it in your pants I be showing it off to the girls as they are drawn to guy’s with big horse DICKS!” So to the big test put on very tight pants and walked around pretending to be minding my own business in the shopping malls and women would eyeball my junk then find an excuse to pick me up by chatting me up in the food halls or asking about some of the product lines on the store shelves.
Then at the swimming pools it was on for young and old the looks from the women and girls in my very tight swimmers they would try to get close to me in the water and bump themselves against me and say sorry then we have a chat and we would end up swapping numbers having a relationship.

At that time I got into a lots of relationships with married women and young girls 18-65 of age and some of the comments were “didn’t your mother give you any toys to play with when you were a kid” ”you should be so proud of that cock it’s so big and beautiful”. I had up to as many as 5 women on the go at a time and over the next 5 years they completely drained me and it was very ego boosting at the time.

Then out of the blue I met a young lady who was and absolute knockout a body to die for plus very mature for her age and we ended up in love and in steady relationship and I left behind all my history and became true to her and we have 5 sons and very happy to this day and I still rip one off a couple to 3 times a week at the ripe age of 73.

As I have now a heart condition and on the nitrate patches I have found if you put one on the shaft of your dick (15 minutes) only before sex then REMOVE it, then go for your jollies.
It dilates the blood vessels and then you have a full erection that will last for ages it is not for the faint heart-ed it will lower the blood pressure, only consider it if you have trouble getting erections much better than Viagra just a very small headache for a few minutes. (Be careful!).

Originally Posted by AeroT
This one actually happened 2 weeks ago so perfect timing with this thread. So I just started dating this girl – tiny Asian, about 5’2” 94lbs – and we we’ve been taking things pretty slow. She had only been with one other guy before which she felt was already about at her limit. She told me he was about the same size hard as I was flaccid… so naturally she was mortified. (BTW I’m ~7.5” BPEL but 6” MEG.) I was pretty uncertain too, but of course I reassure her, I’ve never had issues before, she SHOULD really like it, etc.. And of course I just really want to get it in. Lol We finally get to the point where we are going to make it happen, made sure she was nice and warmed up, and as expected things didn’t fit. It was like trying to cram your dick into the opening of a water bottle, basically a brick wall. Very frustrating but we both really want it, so we took it slow, she’s pulling, I’m pushing and FINALY it goes in. She’s gasping now. Like wow this feels great you’re all the way in now right? I look down and it’s just the tip. She wants more so I go to about half way and now she is seeing stars; crying out uncontrollably, moving uncontrollably, like barely aware of her surroundings. After a bit of this we pause and she asks again If I was happy and all the way in. She was shocked to hear no and I was shocked to hear she wanted all the way. So I grab her on the waist and slowly crammed it home. I must have hit her A-spot? Because supernova is probably the only way to describe it and now I think it’s safe to say the world has another big dick lover. Afterward she was like I can’t believe how far in that went, you would hit these spots that felt so good, It was amazing to be filled that much, etc… and she’s like let’s forget the dates, can we just stay in and do this all day? I’m like yeah, If that’s what you want to do I think that’s ok with me. :D

Now for the embarrassing (funny?) part:

So after we finish up the first time (and she’s done laying on the bed in a dazed stupor), she goes to the bathroom and came out like wow I think my period just started. Kinda weird because it was still about a week early but all of her friends were on theirs so maybe she’s just synching up. Next day no period… hmm that was weird but didn’t think anything of it. Next weekend comes. It’s her scheduled time of the month so we are rushing to beat the “red light”. Everything went well and she had another fantastic visit to the big dick oasis but again right after the same thing. Like wow my period just started… You sure?. Yeah I can tell it’s real this time. Sure enough the next day no period, so now were thinking this is weird. This keeps happening and on top of that she’s now late. So we google it and like 90% of the explanations are her life is over and she’s going to die (or pregnant.. Basically same thing) so next day she schedules an emergency visit with her gyno. Doctor asks her questions and is all doom and gloom just like the internet. She gets in “the chair”, pants down, spread eagle, doctor goes in for a look and then takes a different line of questions. Your boyfriend… how tall is he? Is he also Asian? How much does he weigh?? She answers the questions but the doctor still looks a bit puzzled… finally putting it together she added well his penis is huge if that’s what you are asking? The doctor was then just like yeahhh ok… Well tell him to be gentler because the reason you’re bleeding is your “front door” is torn… (ouch) So then while at work I get this graphic, annotated diagram of a vagina showing exactly what I did to her, and we both sigh a bit of relief. She’s out of commission for a week or two to be safe but otherwise everything is “ok”. I guess I owe her a nice dinner or something and maybe I’ll get her one of those pregnancy cushions to sit on Lol. Moral of the story to you guys going for girth — With great power comes great responsibility.

I tell guys here this all the time. Vaginal tearing is so real. Everyone will not react well to it. But…it is also an uncommon problem to have and plan for.


Now: 8.875" BPEL x 6.125" MSEG as of 8/12/2016 It's a long story but...

Then: 6.25" x 4.37" in 8/2009 Are you new to PE? Here's some advice I wish someone had given me when I first started.

My big secret? My methods. There is no "Holy Grail" of Penis Enlargement. Only time and effort works. I'm 7 years in and counting. Put the work in then the gains will come. All you have to do is keep the faith.

I tend to pump in the very early morning. Then let is subside.

My current main girlfriend (we agree we’re not entirely exclusive) is one of the tightest women I have been with. Possibly tied for the tightest sport ever. The first time we slept together was before I did PE. She looked at me even then and said “Oh no. I am not sure I can handle it.”. I swear it. She was worried.

Fast forward 2 years and I have started a “conditioning” journey (I prefer to view it as a fitness routine, not a growth obsession). I get a message early in the morning, stating “I am in the Farmer’s Market by your place - can I come over and make you breakfast?”. As I get the message, I am 15 minutes into my conditioning routine with the Bathmate X40. She arrives, and obviously she has other things in her mind prior to making poached eggs. She walks through the door (she has my key) with the grocery bag, grabs me (I love an assertive woman), then looks down and says “Whats been going on here? This seems … thicker?” I swear she drops down on her knees, and as she struggles to get a 7 inch girth into her mouth she goes “mmmm… but tell me later what is going on?”… She is a sexy goddess, and I don’t want to blow a load in her mouth right away, so I ease her off, and as we kiss and tease she says “I don’t think you can put it inside me. Try gently. But ease off.” We try. She looks down with eyes that show concentration and closes them as I start to go in. She says “Stop. I want to be tight tomorrow. Just tease my clit with that fat head.” Hey, we tend to comply. As thing progress and she builds up she is like “OK. OK. I want to try again.” This time it slides in. With my dick swollen like that, and teased for 20 minutes, I pull out and blow a load on her belly after like 10 pathetic strokes (I am not premature, ever, as a rule), and she says “You better go right back in…”. I am so turned on that I know I can do it. It doesn’t happen to me often I can go right on, but this is the day. I go inside, keep pumping, my dick goes back from semi hard to raging hard-on, and she simply grabs my ass with two hands and pulls me in with force, all the way. She says “Don’t move” and simply grinds herself on me while I am all the way in. She comes. She keeps grinding. She comes again. She grinds on. She comes again. At this point in time I am fully aroused again. She senses I am doing the moves that precede my own orgasm and goes “Come wherever you want”. I pull out and jizz on her amazing tits. She looks at my engorged Bathmate dick, sucks the rest out of it, and goes… “OK, what is going on here?”

I told her. She thought about it. Then declared she was very sore and, as a rule, preferred the non immediate aftermath of a conditioning routine, but that it had been great, and that she’d ask for it on occasion. She also insisted on taking a picture of my dick between her tits.

Yeah…. I got nothing.

Maybe something but not particularly funny. Nothing embarassing though.


BPEL 7 EG 5.5 NBPEL 6.5 Flaccid length 4.5. Started Jan 2015 at bpel 6.5 nbpel 6.0 and eg 5.2 flaccid length was 3.5

I have reached my goal. At least for now.

Originally Posted by bill10
Yeah…. I got nothing.

Maybe something but not particularly funny. Nothing embarassing though.

I’d be pretty embarassed if my my wife walked in on me when I was pumping and she didn’t already know about it. Wouldn’t you?


Live long and prosper.

I am not BIG … 7 x 5.2-5.5— but I am only 5’6” so post work out flaccid stands out for sure…

I did have a airport incident after a work out…

I alerted them of an abnormality in the groin area on the scanner…

I thought to myself abnormally large cock haha…

Originally Posted by ErnieBanks
I’d be pretty embarassed if my my wife walked in on me when I was pumping and she didn’t already know about it. Wouldn’t you?

Yes, that’s why my wife knows.


BPEL 7 EG 5.5 NBPEL 6.5 Flaccid length 4.5. Started Jan 2015 at bpel 6.5 nbpel 6.0 and eg 5.2 flaccid length was 3.5

I have reached my goal. At least for now.

Originally Posted by lamington
A TRUE STORY!
57 years ago when I was 16 years old I experimented with vacuum pumping and stretching as it was not common place then and as there was no internet and saw an article from England book that you can increase your penis for $250 so I copied the idea, As I had a small penis of 6 1/2 inch long 1 1/2inch diam I figured out that a vacuum would do the stretching I wanted. So off to the hardware store 1ft of acrylic by 2 inch diam /Schroeder valve no insert/2inch rubber cap to fit over the end with a PVC 3ft hose (sucked out the air via my mouth) sealed the vacuum with a bung plus a piece of 2inch push bike inner tube cut off and fitted to the end of tube where you put your dick in to make a good seal then scribe 1 inch measurements on the outside of the tube.

So I used this method for 5 years daily by sucking on the end of PVC tube and kinking it with a cloths peg to keep the vacuum in the extender for about ½-1 hour twice a day coating my DICK in vitamin e cream as lube, this is what transpired over 5 years my penis grew to and astounding 9 inches and 2 inches thick it was so long when I was skinny I had to lay my junk under my balls and the head used to just sat near my lower ass crack as I was trying not to show my junk in public.

Later at work mate once said “If I had the meat like you have I would not be hiding it in your pants I be showing it off to the girls as they are drawn to guy’s with big horse DICKS!” So to the big test put on very tight pants and walked around pretending to be minding my own business in the shopping malls and women would eyeball my junk then find an excuse to pick me up by chatting me up in the food halls or asking about some of the product lines on the store shelves.
Then at the swimming pools it was on for young and old the looks from the women and girls in my very tight swimmers they would try to get close to me in the water and bump themselves against me and say sorry then we have a chat and we would end up swapping numbers having a relationship.

At that time I got into a lots of relationships with married women and young girls 18-65 of age and some of the comments were “didn’t your mother give you any toys to play with when you were a kid” ”you should be so proud of that cock it’s so big and beautiful”. I had up to as many as 5 women on the go at a time and over the next 5 years they completely drained me and it was very ego boosting at the time.

Then out of the blue I met a young lady who was and absolute knockout a body to die for plus very mature for her age and we ended up in love and in steady relationship and I left behind all my history and became true to her and we have 5 sons and very happy to this day and I still rip one off a couple to 3 times a week at the ripe age of 73.

As I have now a heart condition and on the nitrate patches I have found if you put one on the shaft of your dick (15 minutes) only before sex then REMOVE it, then go for your jollies.
It dilates the blood vessels and then you have a full erection that will last for ages it is not for the faint heart-ed it will lower the blood pressure, only consider it if you have trouble getting erections much better than Viagra just a very small headache for a few minutes. (Be careful!).

You may be transferring that medication into your wife, just a heads up.

To the last comment my wife has had no adverse reactions to me putting on nitrate patches on my penis and removing them before sex in fact I think the opposite has happened she now has very intense orgasms and has multiple ones quickly as well.

She now cuts them into 1/4’s and they are now her magic stickers for me and usually leave one quarter on the dresser when she is in the mood.

Here is the question if there is any residue on my penis like was suggested does it transfer to root of her clit and engorge the blood flow thus increasing her orgasms who knows?

Try it as life is finding out what works and what doesn’t a bit like cooking (a little to taste at first till you get it right) yum yum.

Just my experiences and it works for us both and we are very happy

My First Time With My Now Wife

So when me and my wife first started dating we had the conversation everyone has about ex’s and sex. She told me the only two guys she has ever been with were between small and average, I decided to tell her “ya know I’m kinda big.” so she was mildly interested and conversation went on as if she really didn’t care.

A week later we start getting hot and heavy and the time came for her to pull out my tool. She stuck her hand down my pants to pull it out and as soon as she got her hand around it she froze as if she saw a ghost. She immediately started getting dressed to leave. So I asked her what was wrong, she said “I know you said you were big but wtf?” She felt like if we had sex I wouldn’t get anything out of it because she was scared.

Now I understand I’m not enormous but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And you couldn’t even understand how much my ego swelled

My parents used to send me to music camp during summer break from school. On the next to the last day of camp, the whole group (approximately 40 boys and 80 girls) gather for a rehearsal of the final show in the auditorium. It was hot so I chose to wear jogging shorts (80s so think thin parachute material and very short.). I usually wear underwear but I didn’t pack enough for the two week camp and they were dirty so I grudgingly chose to go commando. I’m not normally large flaccid so I didn’t think it would be a problem.

Included in the group was 5 girls from my own school and my male best friend. We had been going to this camp together for over 3 years and usually always did everything together. We were all in our last year of school and ranged from 16 to 17 years of age so we were quite young. Young enough, in fact, to be subjected to spontaneous boners, unfortunately.

I chose to sit in the front row with my friends while awaiting my turn on stage to rehearse. One of the girls I was friends with was extremely attractive. She didn’t wear slutty clothes but she was built in all the right ways and curvy in places that make precum stains inevitable to a zombie. This day she chose not to wear a bra, maybe for the same reason I wasn’t wearing underwear, and her size C breasts were causing her shirt to tent out over her flat stomach in the same way I was tenting my jogging shorts under my crossed arms.

I’m not sure what they were talking about because I was trying so damn hard to quit thinking about how her breasts would look bouncing up and down as she was riding my dick. At this point, I was in good shape and had raging hardons that were pushing 8 1/4 every time. Thanks dad. I wasn’t thanking him this time. Please, God, let this thing go down.

I don’t know what it is but there are times when you want something not to happen so much that it winds up happening regardless just to destroy you. When my name was called to go up on stage, I was probably at my hardest and I couldn’t move lest everyone see me in all my glory. This couldn’t be happening. Here I was without underwear, in a skimpy pair of jogging shorts sporting an eight inch piece of man junk in an auditorium full of girls, five of which go to my own school. How did I make so many stupid decisions all in a row? I know. I’ll just act like I didn’t hear my name. Ok, that’s not going to work. My back hurts. That’s it. I’ll just say my back hurts and let someone else go up instead of me. Sadly, that just got every eye in the room focused on me wondering what was wrong.

With the instructor insisting I join him on stage or risk throwing me and my friends performance out, I sucked up enough courage and stood up. Five sets of female eyes went to my crotch. Yeah, you can’t hide that. I tried putting my hands in front of it but that just made people look even more. Some of the girls had mortified looks on their faces, some of them had their mouths open in shock. Some were laughing. This day will live in infamy.

To my horror, I walked on stage preceded by my bouncing ship mast and precum wet jogging shorts and grabbed my guitar and strapped it on before turning around to rehearse. Halfway through performing, my penis decided it had already destroyed my life enough and went down and I left the stage and immediately went back to my dorm for some jeans after I was done. To this day, I do not wear shorts in public.

On a brighter note, my five friends were a lot more interested in me and I was very popular amongst the girls my final year of high school.


Started: 01/01/2015 ~ BPEL: 7.2 inches. EG: 5.5 inches. [05/01/2015: BPEL: 7.6 X 5.5.] [08/06/2015: 7.75 X 5.5]

Goal: BPEL: 8.2 inches. Better EQ.

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty. ~ Proverbs 14:23

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