Everything was fine till I got sick!
It’s been a while since I have made any useless comments or half-assed attempts at constructive conversation here at Thunders; I got quiet sick about 5 days ago- Fever, headaches etc.. I am pretty much totally over it now, but while I was sick, I didn’t have ANY desire WHATSOEVER to do PE, or come onto Thunders :(
I don’t get sick very often at all, and when I do, I get over it pretty quick! But I feel that this forced break from PE has uncovered, in my mind a few reservations I have about doing PE now.
Firstly, I am not as motivated as I thought I was to get a bigger dick! I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. I realised whilst being too sick to PE that I don’t care as much as I thought I did about size, and I am starting to think- currently being single, that dick size would just be a personal indulgence which right now, is a little more of a hassle (doing PE) than a joy- which it should be.
I also have ALLOT of shit I have to get together in my life! I still pretty much need to find a purpose for myself, a goal, something to strive too. For too long I have been a casual employee and for too long I have dodged responsibility. I need a path set out for me- something to pursue, and yes, something with a little more substance too it than PE.
Also, I am not totally happy with my body image. I am not overweight or close to it by any stretch of the imagination, but I am always obsessing over it and what I can do in the gym to “perfect” it.
Basically the notion that I am “tip-toeing” around is this; I have too many other things on my mind to go back to PEing the way I was before. I say “before” like it was months ago; however, this time last week I was as enthusiastic as the next guy! I was on Thunders ALLOT looking up new stuff, and just reading everything! Now, it feels like I can’t be bothered even finding the time for the Hot towel warm ups, and the stretches.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love all this PE shit, and what it can do for you (I’m only relatively new, and my flaccid has totally transformed), but being sick does weird things to you; It gives you time to think about what is really important, and the position I am in, unfortunately PE is DOWN the list at NUMBER 100!
I may as well ask a couple of things if I still have anyone’s attention:
1) Has anybody else found themselves doubting their commitments to PE whilst sickness has consumed?
2) Is everyone (or the majority) of people who can do PE and stick to it for over 3 months generally pretty happy with all the other facets of their lives?
3) When would one suggest mentally the best time to PE? When everything else is going along fine? When confidence is low? What is the best frame of mind to be in, what frame of mind generally leads to longevity in this game?
That’s basically all I have to say for now. I am still going to PE for sure, as I have said I love doing this shit, but I know that I have fucked it all up. Even though the break I have has been forced through sickness, even though I am over that sickness now, and even though the break was for ONLY under a week, I will not be PEing for possibly months till I sort out some of this other shit.
But who knows? If I turtle tomorrow that might be motivation for me to jump back on, we will have to see!