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It’s surprising how many people cheat, even while married. Why get married if you’re going to break the mutual contract anyway? Marriage means a lot more than a piece of paper and benefits. I guess everyone is forgetting that during this oversexed age.

People need to grow a pair and deal with temptation if they love their significant other enough to tie the knot with them. Sex is such a small part of our lives, it only lasts for so long, then its over. Why jeopardize a love that would last forever? Surely as humans we could use our heads a little more and stop being so selfish. Marriage is about being selfless. There is only giving. The receivings you feel from your wife/husband is the side effect of their giving to you. There is only giving.

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Originally posted by Likeness79
I don't blame you for cheating. If I had slept with the same woman for 12 years, I would be dying to have sex with another one. I can see the ethical problem about it, as the whole meaning of marriage is that you're supposed to be faithful to that particular person. But it's hard to behave against your instincts. Humans aren't a monogamous species.

I’m sorry Likeness79 I must respectfully disagree. What a load of bull shit! (OK, not so respectfully:) ).
I HAVE been having sex with the same women for MORE than 12 years, and it still turns me on the same as the first time we had sex.
Having control of your instincts is what separates man from the animals. Next someone is going to come along and say that it is OK to kill someone if you feel hungry. You need to eat, right?
“Humans aren’t a monogamous species” is simply a cop out for men who can’t or won’t take some responsibility for their actions and admit that maybe they are not men, but animals.


Last edited by Andrew69 : 02-07-2004 at .

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Originally posted by Orgasmo
It's surprising how many people cheat, even while married. Why get married if you're going to break the mutual contract anyway? Marriage means a lot more than a piece of paper and benefits. I guess everyone is forgetting that during this oversexed age.

People need to grow a pair and deal with temptation if they love their significant other enough to tie the knot with them. Sex is such a small part of our lives, it only lasts for so long, then its over. Why jeopardize a love that would last forever? Surely as humans we could use our heads a little more and stop being so selfish. Marriage is about being selfless. There is only giving. The receivings you feel from your wife/husband is the side effect of their giving to you. There is only giving.

Orgasmo, this to me is the essence of marriage and what makes it so good to me. What ever I do, I do for my wife (and kids).Everything I ever think about is for them. Everything I do is for them. Why? Because everything they do is for me. The more I give to them, the more I receive in return.
For me, it is the perfect existence.

I must say, that I am glad to see people like Big Birtha here at Thunders.
It seems to me he has the perfect answer to men who say that they cannot be monogamous. What he and his wife do is NOT cheating. They both know what, where and who the other is doing. I applaud them for their HONESTY and obvious LOVE for each other.
Well done BB, well done.

Andrew, congratulations on your successful sex life!

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Originally posted by Andrew69
Having control of your instincts is what separates man from the animals.

By saying this, you are actually on the same track as me. Cheating is indeed a very instinctive behavior for humans. I’m not saying that it justifies it, but it helps to explain it. Monogamy for humans is a cultural invention, that doesn’t really make evolutionary sense, but it makes it easier to keep the peace in a community.

My earlier post was partly a reaction to the angry comments that Average’s first post got. It seems a little short-sighted to react like “guys that cheat deserve to lose an inch”. The question about cheating is just as complicated as other human instincts that doesn’t fit into society, and I’m not ready to blame a stranger for doing it. If I had a wife that cheated on me, I wouldn’t be mad at her because she cheated, but because she cheated on me.

Likeness - you think my comment was short sighted, and I respect that - it was only my opinion. Although wasn’t something I just blurted in the heat of the moment. Rather it was a true reflection of the way I feel about men who cheat. I understand that it is difficult to behave against instincts - I feel them also. But isn’t this one of the things that makes a good man? The ability to control animal instincts as Andrew69 said, and not react in a foolhardy or boyish way. Whereas you would not blame average for cheating and put it down to instincts, I would place the blame on the shoulders of the man.
I think that as this thread (and the accompanying poll by woodpile) have run their course, these are the two opinions that have emerged. Although by viewing the comments as a whole, I was relieved to see that most men do not advocate cheating.

ghost


"Empty your mind. Become formless and shapeless like water. When water is poured into a cup, it becomes the cup. When water is poured into a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Be water, my friend."

Bruce Lee

i believe if you are with a SO that challenges you mentally, rocks you physically, and stimulates you emotionally and spiritually, you will have no desire to cheat, just like me.

I think instead of saying instinct this, and evolution that, simply be more picky with whom you marry. I believe for everyone there is someone who they would have no desire to cheat on.

If you have the desire to cheat, then you married for the wrong reasons in the first place.

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