A depressed non-gainer in Europe
I don’t know how to begin this post. Althought my post count is below 1000, it seems as though I’ve posted about 5000 and read about a million. PE is my obsession, PE is my life - but the worst part about it is that gains just don’t seem to come.
Sure, people can look at my progress log and find that I’ve gained about 1.1 cm in BPEL. But what they’ll also find is that I’ve gained nothing in NPBL and nothing in girth. My flaccid looks like a fuckin Christmas tree lightbulb. As I write this post, I am in Europe with a couple friends “living it up”. I am not homosexual, but all I am focused on is penis. I want my to be huge and I want it now. I see guys on the beach and all I see is them wearing speedos and have huge flaccid hangs. Of all the effort I’ve put in, I feel I deserve it. I keep starring at my baby flaccid cock and with every Newbie post of newbie gains, my anger and depression grows.
I have 3 best friends in my life. Each one of them are awesome when it comes to picking up chicks and banging. When it comes to personality, I have them beat hands down. The only reason they get more pussy than me is that I actively do not try to pick up chicks because I am self conscious about my cock. I am 25, have had sex only once when I was 18 and way to drunk to remember, and now hate my life. When I found PE, I thought I found the Holy fuckin Grail to life. I thought I would be reborn again. All I ever wanted was to be 7 x 5. Anyone with those measurements should be so lucky.
I know, I know. I’ve read the posts on how each woman loves or can handle different size cocks. Some like em big, some small. Well, you know what, I think that’s bullshit. I think all woman love average or big cocks, regardless whether they can take it all or not.
I’m on the beach for 6 hours a day and all can focus my attention on are the guys wearing the speedos who have crazy flaccid hangs and huge balls. Because of porn, I’ve become desenitized to naked chicks, so the topless girls at the beach do nothing for me.
You know what I hate the most though? It’s NOT that I’ve been PEing for 2 years hardly any gains to show for it. It’s not that I’ve tried every routine or PE exercise known to man and still have the same 6” BPL x 4.25” baby cock that I started out with. It’s the fact that my friends probably have normal 6 x 5 cocks, are getting more pussy than I ever will and I’m writing this depressing post at an Internet cafe while my friends bang chicks my hotel room. I know….sad. Depressing. What do you want me to say.
I”ve talked with remek a couple of times and he gives me some encouragement to go out and get my dick wet. I appreciate your words, but honestly, they seem to fly off my shoulder and don’t really seem to stick. I’m really selfconscious about my cock. So selfconscious to the point that if a girl is actually interested in me, I’ll find a way to sabotage the rendez-vous so I won’t have to go back to the hotel and make-out so she won’t have the chance to see my small cock. That is how fucked up I am. I am supposed to be having the time of my life. My friends have banged 3 chicks each without even trying, and I made-out with 1 chick for a total of 1.5 minutes.
I’ve jerked off only 5 times in the past 45 days and have about 4 weeks left on my trip. I tried dry jelqing for a bit every other day, but it actually gave me some negative PIs so I stopped doing that.
Sorry for the long post, but I’m drunk, depressed, tired and lonely. I feel as though I’m the only person in the world that feels the way I do. Thunders is the only place in the world where I feel I could express the way I feel. So I did.
Replies, suggestions on routines, comments (both negative and positive) are welcome. Maybe I just need a good ass kicking.
I won’t be able to check the internet for a while, so don’t be offended if I don’t reply back right away.
The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.