Tips on ridding performance anxiety

So I’ve been battling Pre-E for a couple of months now after having a not so stellar performance with a young lady. Early on I was trying to think of something physical that could have caused it so I stopped doing towel raises and started doing reverse kegels. After a couple more poor performances I was convinced it was my mind. I was in this girls bedroom with her and she started to make a move and straddled me and started kissing me and that was the first time I noticed my breathing got shallow and my heart rate went up. I had that nervous sinking feeling in my stomach. I came up with an excuse to leave. I can say i’m at least a little relieved that I figured out the problem. My friends just tell me to relax and not think about it, but it’s definitely easier said than done.

What some things you guys that had performance anxiety did to help free your mind? It’s getting worse every time I edge or have sex to the point that my body tries to ejaculate when working myself up to get erect.

Well, when I get anxious I start to loose hardness.. so I just ask the girl to lay down on her stomach and stick her ass up. Touching myself to that view gets me right back on track and once I get turned on enough I have no more troubles keeping pace.

Think of what makes you free your mind.. what is it that turns you on to the point of “imma f*ck this lady real bad” and makes you care nothing about any other thing than to make a lady scream :)

Reverse kegels is great for pre-PE.

Other advice: Green tea and ginseng. (My own experience)

I was inconsistent with the reverse kegels but i’m going to try and stay on top of it. Xxl that’s a good point i’m the same way with ass the only problem is to get myself that indulged in a woman that I forget about my issue i’d have to jump in the deep end so to speak, but i’m going to have to give it another go eventually.

Silly, but I find breathing through my mouth can help sometimes. Also, go down on her first so she gets hers then the pressure is less.

If you get the chance you could always just rub that first easy one out then pee to clear out the tube. Obviously you got no problem getting it up around her so getting up twice shouldn’t be a problem.

All good ideas. When I think about it I usually never go down on the girls i’m with. It’s not me they usually just want to go down on me to get me up and go straight into penetration. I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t mind if I go down on them. I’d like to think after doing that for a while my mind will be elsewhere.

I’m not sure if it will work for you, but I to had a similar issue. I found a girl who didnt mind when i ejaculated.

I became ok with the fear that I might come early, I have improved alot since then.

You’ve got to accept the fear and not avoid it. the only other thing I’ve been doing is kegeling.

Sex is probably the only area of my life where I don’t have anxiety!! haha!!

Anxietys been an issue in my life but sexually I’m extremely confident, here are a few tips that may help:

1.) A lot of FOREPLAY. If you cum in your pants then great, you don’t seem to have a problem getting another erection and now it will be harder for you to come next time.

2.) You should be GOING DOWN on her and making her come.. for a while.

3.) SHE SHOULD NOT SEE YOUR DICK FOR A WHILE. Foreplay + Cunnilingus should last for a while.. the aim is to have her coming several times before she even sees your cock.

4.) BREATHING. This is huge. Often I’m pounding away on a chick for a while, and I can go for hours.. and I’ll feel like I’m going to come. What do I do? I start putting my mind somewhere else and breathe very deeply. Let the energy cycle down into your groin, up your back, and out your mouth. Its often resisting breathing, holding your breath or a kegal that will make you come.

TENSION MAKES YOU COME!

To reduce tension while maintaining erection may not be the most intuitive thing on the planet, but I assure you it starts with breathing.

I do some sex counseling for friends and what not, if you have any other questions feel free to ask.

BEST!

One thing I try and do is remind myself that I am there to enjoy myself. It’s impossible to get turned on if you let anxiety stop you from getting turned on. You see the cycle? If regular kissing isn’t doing it for you just let yourself go and get freaky and see if she goes along with it. For example, telling a girl to bend over and stick her ass in the air and the. Eat her out. You can touch yourself while pleasuring her and she can’t see you.

How about you take control. I normally feel better when I know im the one progressing things. Play with her and dont fuck her until your ready to go crazy on her. I have a lot less anxiety if I am in charge. Women love it too.

Thanks man I appreciate it my PE isn’t that extreme where I cum in my pants. After some experimenting I found that missionary has become a bad position for me. Once again I know it just in my head I had been with several women before this happened and one of them loved missionary because you can kiss a lot and I was fine. Alcohol actually helps rid it completely just 3 shots and I’m back to my old self, in control and i’m not a lightweight so i’m not drunk but it helps. I’ve been edging after a couple shots. My mindset is I need to get my confidence back up and strangely I feel pretty good and accomplished after my alcohol induced edging. I don’t want to use it as a crutch,but I feel myself getting more and more confident after each 20+ minute session so after a couple weeks I’ll take 2 shots, then 1, and then after that hopefully i’ll be good.

Thanks everybody for your input. Kind of sucks when your fine and have no worries and then one slip up and you seem to get stuck in a rut.

Careful with the Alcohol.

Anxiety is a bitch I know from personal life I have anxiety disorder sometimes when I get up in the middle of the night I get a anxiety attack out of no where probably cause of stress and stuff but the best thing to do is try and stay calm breath think of something that makes you happy . Plus if you breath and are relaxed the blood flows in and out of the penis and you won’t be tense and cum

Relax big boi relax :P you seem all over the place ;)

She would have had liked it more you coming all over her then running away ;)

Reverse kegel is good.

Breathing deep and slow is good. breath into your back down and up.

Going down on her first is good.

How do you wank? Go more gentle. very gentle. Train yourself to hold it longer. If you feel like coming stand up and walk or jump around.
Same when having sex. change position. or finger or lick her for a minute.

If you come early.
Tell her she is too damn hot and she has to wait for the next round.
Until then play with her. Ask her to get you up again after some minutes.

This is all normal and totally OK.

Stop the alcohol B.S it will make it worse in the long run.

Then ask yourself what happens when it works for you in the future(beeing with the girl/ include the tips you got into that experience).
Check again for the feeling in your body that comes up towards that future experience.
The future experience needs to be clear of any past connections.