Telling the wife

I feel for you dude. Remember this, she is with YOU now. Not the dick with the big dick. So if I am you I would do my best to believe her. I think working on the relationship is more important than anything.

Now…to STEALTH or NOT to stealt..THAT is the question….hmm. I used to stealth, and saw a little bit of gains but I wasn’t consistent. I wanted to be, but we had 2 kids in the home at that time, and there was really not much time or place to PE. All that changed this year. Kids are married and out. SWEEEET! We are on our second honeymoon. No kidding guys. I will tell you that I have one of the best marriages on the planet. We have been married 25 years and we’re stronger than ever before. However this didn’t just workout that way. We’ve worked our butts off to make it so. Here is what I believe is the key to an awesome marriage. Do your level best to out serve the other. I know that can be difficult if you only have one person doing so, if both of you don’t pursue each other more passionately (not just sexually) then I believe the relationship can’t reach its true potential. I seek to make my girl happy every day. It works. She wants to please me and I her.

What do I mean by out serving? What I mean is I am just short of worshipping the ground she walks on, and she is the same way to me. If she needs or wants something I’ll try to get or do for her. You know how that first couple weeks of a relationship when you’d do just about anything for her? THAT is what I have after 25 years together. We both share a lot of the same values and I think that is also a big piece of the puzzle. I don’t think that I could be loved more fully by any other woman. We are each others best friend, soul mates and our sexual passion is absolutely freaky. Now some might say I’m “whipped” because they see my love for her, and I would be if the relationship wasn’t based on complete respect for each other. I am totally blessed because she doesn’t belittle me when I make a mistake. She doesn’t bring up past speed bumps that every marriage goes through and she’ll hear me out on anything even if at first she doesn’t agree. Guys, my woman ROCKS!! And everyone who knows us have said we have the best marriage they’ve ever seen. Now I’ve said all this to preface what I’ll tell you next. Stealth?

I am 6’2” and built like a line backer. My dick is now a little over 7 BPEL and I believe just over 5” girth. Haven’t measured recently but can tell visually and by her comments things are growing. I know that I am somewhat above avg length and I think avg in girth, however because I am as big as I am, I believe I am not proportionate to my size. This is probably my biggest factor for PE’ing. I want another inch in length and 1/2 inch in girth. When I started messing around with “abusing” (as she calls it) my dick, LOL, some years back, she said I was silly and I am great just as I am.

Now I am going to I get off track for a second and brag a bit that I REALLY AM a freaking stud in the bedroom. I set out to be that way a long time ago. Not really for an ego boost but because I wanted to pleasure this woman to the limits of doing so. I can touch her in 5 different places to make her cum, and no joke she typically does so 5-10x’s (more sometimes) when we are rattling the walls. I’ll usually use my hand (I covered some of what I do in an older thread on here a few years back if you want to look it up) and that will provide you excellent instructions on how to make her melt and keep her going off like a firecracker. She will typically orgasm 3-5’xs with my hand and the rest is penetration in a few different ways. I think if you don’t know exactly how to please a woman with your hands I’d say do some research. You’ll feel like you’re the stud of studs and she’ll love you all the more.

So…once again I’ll tell you she really poo-poo’d my concerns about changing my dick so things remained somewhat “stealthy” but not really. She knew what was up. Now she was never degrading or judgmental, but was also never entirely on board until this year. I told her when the kids were gone I was hitting the “weights” so to speak. She’d just chuckle and call me crazy. In my mind I wanted to be out in the open (literally) but wasn’t exactly sure of the response I would get so I decided to sit her down and explain why it was so important to me. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Here’s what I did: First, I found Bibs story on here and printed it off (not looking for a discussion on whether people believe his story or not). Second, I told her early in the day I wanted to have a sit down and discuss a couple things. Our communication is fantastic so she didn’t have any concern about the topic. When she got home and we had the time, we relaxed in bed and I read it to her. I emphasized and likened it to a woman wanting larger tits. Now she is equipped with pretty good size tits (38 DD)…yes I love them. LOL!! And even though a lot of woman view their larger sized girls as a burden, and so does my wife from time to time, she listened and completely understood where I was coming from. Next I took out all my exercise equipment and showed her everything from my attempts to make a homemade hanger to my new pump. I showed her my clamp and different things I used to try to enhance my girth. I showed her the bib hanger I bought last year and various other things I have experimented with.

What happened next blew my mind. She looks at me and said “I get it”. Now I knew she would be gracious no matter what, but I did NOT expect her to ask me to “demo” everything. I did, and she watched…she asked questions here and there and when it was time to clamp? She asked if I wanted help, and then she sucked me to an erection. She felt it clamped and mega swollen and cringed. She asked if it hurt..I told her it doesn’t and she started getting very turned on. Cracked me up because she started moaning. Loved it…So did JV..Didn’t expect that!! But of course I welcomed it. I asked did she want to try it and she was on board. Off the side of the bed as our bed was built to be the perfect height for me to stand up and I fucked her with it for the remaining clamp session. About 8 minutes. I was a happy camper as you would imagine.

We talked more about it and I answered more questions. One being her concern it would get TOO big as she feels like I max her out at times and doesn’t want to mess up her ability to ride. Her favorite position. I seemed to alleviate her concern when I told her it won’t happen overnight (damn it) and she’d get used to it. A couple years ago I had bought a toy that we enjoy occasionally and it is 8x5.5. I said that is where I’m going and she said no problem as she enjoys that very much. Additionally I told her the hardest part of doing my workouts is getting hard for my clamping. I don’t use porn and sometimes I am not as successful as I’d like to be with my erection. I am 49 and things don’t jump quite as quick as they did when I was younger. She asked if I would like her help anytime I clamp. Uhhhh…well…okay…I guess. ROFL…Now, whenever I clamp she gets me hard and I am good to go. She’ll do it anytime I ask. She’ll stop whatever she’s doing (within reason) and pull her tits out and go to work on me….I’ll tighten my clamp and she’ll go back to doing whatever she was doing and help me with additional sets. Needless to say I am that much more amazed by this lady. She jumps right in and helps, BUT, sometimes she DOES get in the way of my progress. She’ll want me to cut short my sets sometimes for some fun….VERY FRUSTRATING!! LOL…NOT!!

Well, I’ve rambled on long enough here guys. I hope you can get it out in the open and I hope your woman is as supportive as mine has become.That’s my 2 cents…Later…JV

Great post JV!

My wife and I are on a similar level. Our relationship is awesome, as is our sex life. Her main concern the last time was if I got too big for her. Like everyone here knows gains are slow, and I’d assume she’d adapt along to accommodate. As well, it’s not like I’m exactly hung here, the way I see it I’ve got a long way to go from 5 inches to get too big! I’d like 7 and that is my long term goal, but I’d be beyond thrilled with 6 and be at least average. I’m going out on a limb that the other dude kind of put her off on a larger unit, when it was probably just the fact that he was a complete inconsiderate asshole and caused her physical pain and no pleasure. Perhaps she may just be physically small, I have bottomed out in her if she pulls her legs up. I hate hiding things from her, but I’m not really sure I want to clue her in.

I understand your concern Led about not wanting to clue her in, but I would think twice about it. Why do you think she would be closed to improving your dick health and self-esteem also? If her concern is not wanting anything that reminds her of the jerk, maybe you could explain that you are of course not like that dude. She’d agree with that statement, correct? If so, just tell her (be sure to tweak your own motivation for changing your dick first if you need to) that this has ZERO to do with the other guy. My situation is similar to yours in that I always felt, and still do somewhat, that I want better proportion for my dick/body size ratio. My wife understood that, and is supportive of it. She says she has a ball right now and as long as I don’t go overboard she’s behind me 100%.

I mentioned Bibs story last post because the way he felt about his unit pre PE, and the way Bib described it was exactly how I felt. At that point I just had to read it to her and say, “this is how I feel” and BAM…paradigm shift. She saw it from a different perspective and now I’m golden. And we are having a blast!! She read what I posted and thanked me for making her look so good. LOL… and then seduced me. NICE evening I had last night.

I am sure you’ll keep thinking on it, consider that a lot of the pros around here recommend getting it out in the open. You just gotta have a woman who’ll listen with an open mind. Hope this helps…JV

Ended up having he conversation with the wife. She told me she don’t get it, but as long as I’m doing it for me and not her she’s ok with it. She did have to rub in that I’ll never get a to the balls blowjob again once I grow! She just asked me to listen and stop if she gets uncomfortable.

Good stuff Led, since growth doesn’t happen overnight, she will get used to it gradually. That’s what has happened to my wife. Go get it!! GROW!!!

Women are odd creatures. Some days everything is great and they love you a lot, then other days you are a jerk with insecurities about your dick.

Why give them ammunition?

Telling your wife or girlfriend is a bad idea in my opinion.

You be a lucky guy if your female friend is understanding and/or willing to work with you. It can build the relationship and shows it may last which is good.

All I will say at the moment is that I’ve told my girlfriend about my extender.
She’s OK with it to an extent, however she doesn’t like me wearing the extender.
She doesn’t believe PE is possible.

I can’t offer great advice on your predicament Led, however, I will say this.
As you know, you should be doing PE for yourself. It shouldn’t be for her.
Try to come to terms with your current size, and let the past be the past.
Focus on enjoying your relationship with her now.

I’m not sure how you should continue in terms of telling her about PE.
Stealth PE is hard to manage. I know because I have many roommates.
I wish you the best of luck in this situation Led_dikkin.
Keep us posted.

Ninja_42, nice input, you should not give a hint tho about any type of insecurities.

Did she ever say that your size is perfect and/or does not matter or past boyfriend sizes.ect?

I wish you gains ninja_42, and wondering how your girlfriend will react once your get gains.

I come home every night. Strap on the pump. Crank it up to 5-10 whatever. Get on the treadmill for .5 hr. Into the shower for a quick freshen up. Out in the bedroom for a nice blow job. Into the kitchen for dinner.

I honestly believe she may be afraid of me getting too large.

They love to make you think it’s too big!

Great quote form the OP. :spin:

What does that tell us about the world of our great-great grandfathers. No porn or sex before marriage - no problem. :) I grew up when Playboy was exotic! The current generation are ruined guys! :D If you find a ‘nice girl’ who hasn’t fucked around much and really doesn’t care…. go with it.